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Can't stand early stages of dating.


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Posted

I hate calling the girl and wondering if she is going to return your call when she doesn't pick up. Especially after just one or two dates where she can just not return your message at all. So then you have to wait a day or two to hear back while she plays the "wait to call back" game. I know it works both ways but it just gets old dating new people all the time. It's like looking for a job.

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Posted

Worse than a job interview because your credentials and references aren't considered.

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Posted

I feel your pain, brother. My girl texts me like, every other/two days. I don't think it's on purpose because I'm friends with her on facebook and I know she's busy and does her own thing. Plus i got my own thing going on too, and we've only been talking for a week, and she doesn't move back to town until next weekend. So yeah, I feel ya.

Posted

I hate it too. The initial stages are the worst for me. :(

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Posted

not for me. I always take a girl for a tandem jump on the first date. It's an instant ice breaker.

Posted
I won't lie, it's hard and it requires a very strong constitution and thick skin. For me personally, I check my emotions at the door and don't invest too much in the early stages. I multi-date thus ensuring I don't end up putting all my eggs in one basket but this may not be for you.

 

I also go into every new situation with the notion that the odds are not in my favor. Not because I don't think I'm attractive or worthy of dating but because at my age it's unlikely anything I get into will last. Yeah it's negative but it's saved me a lot of heartache.

 

I suggest you don't put so much stock into one person, you can like who you like and possibly even hope for the best but embrace the fact that things might not go your way. Basically, for every unanswered phone call, assume she won't call back. If she does, great. If she doesn't, well hey you expected that.

 

I wish there was a way to bookmark advice for later reference, because I'd mark this.

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Posted (edited)
I hate calling the girl and wondering if she is going to return your call when she doesn't pick up. Especially after just one or two dates where she can just not return your message at all. So then you have to wait a day or two to hear back while she plays the "wait to call back" game. I know it works both ways but it just gets old dating new people all the time. It's like looking for a job.

 

I was always the one who scrapped those stupid rules. If you like someone, the last thing you do is wait to call them back. You like them? Call them. This is what a normal person with normal feelings for a person does. They enjoy talking to this person. There is nothing wrong with that at all, you know where each other stands.

 

That's just the way I've always been. I've never beaten around the bush. I called my wife the day after our first date. I asked her to be exclusive with me within two weeks. I told her I loved her after two weeks. I told her I thought we were going to be together for a "long time" after TWO WEEKS. I got engaged to her after a year. We had a 6 month engagement. We tied the knot and were on our honeymoon a year and a half after we met. Life is too short to wait around for what you want.

Edited by Clockwork
Posted (edited)

Dont invest yourself early on in someone u dont know. Thats just plain stoopid.

 

I once decided on the first date that the girl was "the one". It was foolish and i was sooooo wrong. She carved me up like a sunday roast I was so blind.

 

now, while still being proactive and responsive with new girls I dont give a **** until we've been exclusive a few months.

 

and a girl that waits a day or two to respond doesnt hear back from me. Thats just rude or a way of saying thanks but no thanks.

Edited by Joaquin
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Posted

I guess I should note that we went out in Thursday and I told her I would call her to ask her out again. I called her Sunday because I didn't want to bother her on Friday or sat.

Posted

Early stages don't bother me too much. I feel like I am learning about the other person and seeing if there is a future. Neither person should be largely invested since you don't know each other that well. What bothers me more often is just getting a date.

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Posted

I guess I should note that we went out in Thursday and I told her I would call her to ask her out again. I called her Sunday because I didn't want to bother her on Friday or sat.

Posted

Yes, I'm very anxious in the early stages. Not before the first date or second, but after date 3 or so, I start getting antsy and I absolutely hate the anxiety with a lot of passion :laugh: Only after a few months of dating is when I feel I can relax.

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