DJM600 Posted August 19, 2013 Posted August 19, 2013 I have recently been dating a woman for a little over a month. Things seem to be going very well. The relationship seems to be developing steadily and has become intimate. However, thinking back a couple nights, I remember she had made a somewhat inappropriate comment. It could certainly perceived as being racist or at least quite superficial. I'm not sure why I didn't think much of it at the moment. However, I'm definitely feeling uncomfortable with the comment in hindsight. I feel like people have a tendency to put up the blinders early on in a romantic relationship. Sometimes this seems obvious from the outside. Either way, I'd like to continue seeing the woman as she seems great on many levels. Its possible I misinterpreted the remark. I'm not sure how to broach the subject without becoming accusatory. I think its highly unlikely she is a racist, especially since she has a roommate of another race. That being said, I have been quite critical of women since a difficult break up about a year ago. I may just be overthinking this. Any advice?
kaylan Posted August 19, 2013 Posted August 19, 2013 What did she say? And yes people can be friends with people of different races and still be a racist. The same way men have female friends, mothers, sisters they care about but can still be sexist. The whole "My best friend is *insert group descriptor*" line doesnt fly really. So what did she say?
Author DJM600 Posted August 19, 2013 Author Posted August 19, 2013 Its difficult to describe the context. However, I'm mainly curious as to how to approach this tactfully or if I should just run for the hills. My thought is broaching the subject in a straightforward way should be sufficient to get to the bottom of it.
Star Gazer Posted August 19, 2013 Posted August 19, 2013 Its difficult to describe the context. Try. However, I'm mainly curious as to how to approach this tactfully or if I should just run for the hills. Without knowing what it was she said, and the context, it's impossible to opine whether to approach it, or run for the hills. That said, a simple, "Hey, what did you mean by [comment]?" should assist you in understanding the meaning behind it.
Author DJM600 Posted August 19, 2013 Author Posted August 19, 2013 Do you think I should not bring this up since the situation was somewhat ambiguous? I feel really stupid for not discussing it further at the time the comment was made. I'm concerned I may appear weird by bringing it up several days after this occurred.
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