Is it normal to think about my ex all the time after 4 months?

[templeofmax]

I suffer from mild OCD, so I know I do get obsessive thoughts, but I love my ex and still have hope. However, she suffers from low self-esteem, so I know getting back soon is not realistic as she is working on her issues and I don't want to go back to that kind of relationship. Problem is, anxiety is a bitch as I think about her all the time and still feel that feeling of emptiness. Its been 2 months NC, but the constant thinking has me soooo tired. I would like to go to her place and talk to her, but I know that would set me back and probably not result in much.

[JDPT]

You said it, "I don't want to go back to that relationship", your subconscious is telling you exactly what it is you need to do. The first few months are the worst, however you need to put in extra effort specially if you have mild OCD. Reroute your thoughts when you think of her, think of the reasons why you are no longer with her and the things you will like to accomplish as you are now a free agent. I know is easier said than done but you must try your hardest. Embrace your ups and downs and know that in time all your intense pain will eventually subside.

[supaflyz]

I don't really know my friend. I don't think of my ex all the time like the first few weeks anymore. THat is a good thing. I think you should tell your mind to stop thinking about her as soon as you start thinking about her. That has help me. Kind of like conditioning method in psychology class.

[drallafi]

I suffer from mild OCD, so I know I do get obsessive thoughts, but I love my ex and still have hope. However, she suffers from low self-esteem, so I know getting back soon is not realistic as she is working on her issues and I don't want to go back to that kind of relationship. Problem is, anxiety is a bitch as I think about her all the time and still feel that feeling of emptiness. Its been 2 months NC, but the constant thinking has me soooo tired. I would like to go to her place and talk to her, but I know that would set me back and probably not result in much.

 

 

I don't know if it's normal but I still think about my ex from almost 2.5 years ago, every day. I don't think of her in a longing or loving way anymore, but somehow, some way she ends up crossing my mind every day. *shrug* Guess that's what love is.

[theonlyjuan]

Find something to obsess over instead? Fixing the OCD completely would be good but I have no idea how, otherwise I would do it myself.

 

I have become obsessed with the gym since my breakup, it definitely helps.

[templeofmax]

Thank you guys. Sertraline has helped, as the thoughts don't get 'stuck'. Still, she is the background of my mind all the time and sometimes certain behaviors or scenes from the past pop up. Compared to where I was two months ago, this is a relief. I think what hasn't helped is that the summer has been off for me and I don't have friends in the area, so my sister keeps me company. Irony is, my relationship with my sister was a constant source of stupid fights per my ex's assumptions about being a priority. It was so tiring. Her behavior post-breakup was also immature (after a fight, a 2-line e-mail and ignoring me ever since) after a 2.5 year relationship. I am starting my internship next week, so hopefully that will occupy my mind.

 

Thing is, she is a pretty, sweet, caring, humble girl. Not many like her. So I miss her, but don't miss the relationship itself. Its like I am valuing her good side and missing that so much, but knowing that if we want to be together in the future, the only way is to let her work on her issues and realize herself that the blaming she put on me is not true. Its like asking pears from an apple tree.

[templeofmax]

I don't know if it's normal but I still think about my ex from almost 2.5 years ago, every day. I don't think of her in a longing or loving way anymore, but somehow, some way she ends up crossing my mind every day. *shrug* Guess that's what love is.

 

Have you been in a relationship since?

[Ireallydontknow]

Wow maybe I have OCD too. The STUPIDEST stuff makes me think of my ex. Yeah I saw a double shower today and it reminded me of her because at one point in life we used one 4 years ago. I'm going to therapy soon, like this week. I wonder what they will teach me?

[templeofmax]

Wow maybe I have OCD too. The STUPIDEST stuff makes me think of my ex. Yeah I saw a double shower today and it reminded me of her because at one point in life we used one 4 years ago. I'm going to therapy soon, like this week. I wonder what they will teach me?

 

That is normal though. Visual cues remind us of people we knew or things that happened.

[drallafi]

Have you been in a relationship since?

 

 

Yep. Haven't been "in love" since, tho.

 

Don't get me wrong I don't necessarily "miss her" or anything like that, but once a day or so I'll wonder what she's up to.

[templeofmax]

Yep. Haven't been "in love" since, tho.

 

Don't get me wrong I don't necessarily "miss her" or anything like that, but once a day or so I'll wonder what she's up to.

 

So you haven't known anything about her?

[drallafi]

So you haven't known anything about her?

 

 

Nope. We went no-contact on the breakup and that was it. It's better that way.