Did I completely ruin my chances to get my ex-girlfriend back? What do you think

[Rick1]

I never thought I'd be on a forum asking for relationship advice, but I figure I'd give it a shot because I am completely lost.

 

 

My ex-girlfriend and I broke up 2 months ago. We were together for about a year and seven months. We had a very, very close relationship, but we did argue a lot every now and then and towards the end it got ugly. We stopped having sex and it just all went to ****. Honestly, I took her for granted and I didn't appreciate her enough which is why she left me.

 

About a week after we broke up, she started talking to someone else and they've been together ever since. They've been together for 2 months now. (It's August, we broke up at the end of June.) This guy actually is someone I used to be friends with. That's the messed up part. What's funny, is his style is very much like mine. And his haircut too.

 

All this guy does is sell pills that he gets from his mom which is a drug dealer, and he makes his money. He has a lot of money, but no car. He buys her EVERYTHING. And takes her EVERYWHERE. He took her to California for a weekend and everything. It's been quite heart wrenching to watch. I know she still loves me, she's told me herself. But she also hates me. And I am just very confused. Apparently she's in love with him now.

 

So anyways,I was in the club last week and they both showed up. I was really drunk, and I wound up beating the **** out of him in front of everybody. She still went home with him in the end, and we didn't talk.

 

Last night, I decided to text her and tell her not to talk to me or my mom at ALL anymore. (She texted me mom 3 days ago and told her she misses her) And he read it. This caused them to have a big fight. She came to my house and we had a huge argument. She was nearly on the verge of suicide over losing this guy. I calmed her down and told her I'd text him and help her get him back, which I did. Only because that's how much I love her. We wound up kissing and talking for a while, she told me she loves me and I told her I love her. But she can't be with me because I took her for granted and she wants to be with him because he treats her so good.

 

Now I am blocked on her social networks.

 

I am so ****ing confused.

 

Will I ever get this girl back? Did I screw my

[templeofmax]

I think you need to grow up and see this what it truly is. She is USING you, and you have become her doormat. She finds somebody else after one week and then you help her get the drug dealer back? Stay away and find somebody else.

[supaflyz]

Come on man. My ex-girlfriend kind of did the same thing to me man. She started talking to someone after 2 weeks, but it probably could of been much sooner after our break up. Perhaps she even talk to him when she was with me. I don't care anymore because its only going to kill my precious brain cells. She also had an ex that is a drug user in the past. There were so many red flags about her.

 

Don't go back with her man. She's a loser, and so is her new boyfriend now. Why would you want to deal with someone who dates another known drug user. I made that mistake, and I have learn. You should learn from your mistakes too.

[reddragon588]

This is a toxic situation. You've been friend zoned by a former partner. She used you as leverage to resolve an argument with her own partner. You need to cut her out of your life. If she really loves you like she says she does she'll come to you.

[Rick1]

Thank you for the advice. I appreciate it. I blocked her on everything, and I'm just going to focus on myself.

[Rick1]

I think a month of no contact will do us both good. I just can't believe after almost 2 years this girl is madly in love with someone else. (They tell eachother they love eachother, it's hilarious.) But I know it's only because he buys her everything and picks up for all the slack I left behind. That's the only reason.

[Simon Phoenix]

A month? Try several months. I mean this girl got you to convince the guy she dumped you for to give her another chance, a guy who you attacked in an irrational rage. You need to be way the hell away from this situation.

[Rick1]

You're right, I know. And I will stay away from this bullcrap this time around. I really did love her though, and I think my guilt of taking her for granted is what's made it hard for me. I'm just surprised she moved on so fast.

[crederer]

Dude....she left you for a pill pusher. She didn;t even leave you for some big shot dealer, she left you for the bottom of the world. Let her go. You're going to look back in a year and feel embarassed that you were hung up on such a loser of a woman.

 

Also, fighting a dude cause he's with your ex isn't cool. Take the high road next time, you'll feel better about yourself and you will look better in every one else's view.

[Rick1]

Well I popped him because he used to be my friend, so that asswhooping was bound to happen. And everyone that saw it didn't blame me for it. This broad is only with him because he pays for everything and buys her everything. I don't care though. You are right, I will look back at all this and kick myself.

[ChaseD]

I think you need to take a step back and determine what went wrong in your relationship. I know you didn't really mention the specific details, but you did say that you two broke up because you took her for granted and didn't appreciate her enough.

 

What did you two fight about? Why didn't she want sex with you?

 

After you start finding solutions on what went wrong, you can start working on solutions because the same thing could happen even if you got back together right now.

 

I would also just cut contact for now while you work on this and contact her at a later time if you still feel the same way. Who knows ... you may think differently after and/or find someone else.

[Stealth3]

Isn't it ****ing weird when this **** happens? They leave you for a total douch.... I mean a drug dealer, wtf.

 

My ex left me because she didnt see a future with me and went chasing after some dude 12 years older who makes half what I make and with a kid from some random girl. Guess she sees a better future with him eh

[BC1980]

The whole thing sounds toxic. She's suicidal over maybe losing a guy, and you are helping her get him back. This is messed up. Go NC for about 10 years at least.

 

People who jump from one relationship to another very quickly often don't have the best self esteem, so you dodged a bullet here it would seem.

[Stealth3]

Yeah...I would have given her a ride to the bridge and tell her to go ahead and jump. Seriously, she's not your problem. If she wants to kill herself, let her go ahead.

 

But trust me, she wouldn't. She just said that to get things her way again. She just cried wolf.

[Criticality]

Sorry man, but trust me she doesn't love you. Why did she say it? Maybe she "loves you" as a friend, sure. And sometimes girls that age are not good with emotions, and tell the ex they love him cause they don't want to hurt his feelings.

 

She didnt even text you that she misses you but your mom. (Though she probably does. Girls often get attached to their BFs mom.)

 

Unfortunately for you she's in love with her new guy. You need to accept that. And move on. And saying "She only likes him cause he gets her stuff" isn't moving on. It's lying to yourself.

[Chi townD]

Dude, really?!? You helped her get BACK with the douche rocket? Screw that! I would have been like, "Sorry, none of my business!"

 

Dude, start taking care of yourself. Take a trip somewhere.

[validus]

This is just sad. Why does girls always goes for the douchbags? I always finds that difficult to understand? It sounds like she is on a path to self-destruct throwing in with a drug dealer. I think you must move on and find a girl with some savvy that can look after herself. There are a lot of nice girls out there ...