John Derrick Posted August 18, 2013 Posted August 18, 2013 I've known this co-worker of mine for about a year. She's a lot of fun, we hang out often within our group of friends at work. I was attracted to her when we first met and flirted with her a bit until I found out she had a boyfriend, so I backed off. A few weeks ago, she told a mutual friend of ours at work that she's been attracted to me for a long time and, if she wasn't with her boyfriend right now, she would definitely want to date me. She also admitted that her current relationship isn't going to last much longer. Anyways, I was out with a few friends that same night, and the one friend who she confided in drunkenly told me what had happened. We all caught up later that night and me and my co-worker (who realized that our friend told me everything) flirted the rest of the night. A few of us went back to her apartment afterwards and we had a great time. She was very forward (tried to get me to stay over), but I did not take it forward because she had had much more to drink and still had a boyfriend. We ended up leaving later on and I went out of town for the weekend. We texted often and it seemed good. When I got back to work, everything changed. We still hang out like we normally would at work with everyone, but nothing was ever made of what had happened. What should I do? Like I said, I think she is really cool and would definitely like to spend more time with her and maybe date her, but I have no idea what's going on between her and her boyfriend. I asked our friend who she admitted her feelings to for advice but she isn't sure. Any advice would be great. Thanks.
Woop1337 Posted August 18, 2013 Posted August 18, 2013 Do absolutely nothing. She has a boyfriend. At best keep the subtle flirting, if you roll like that. Never talk about her bf, or anything romantic between you two. Wait it out. Stop yapping to your friends/co workers, about your feelings to her or anyone for that matter. That's your business alone.
Author John Derrick Posted August 18, 2013 Author Posted August 18, 2013 Thanks for the advice. I actually never spoke to anyone except to the one co-worker who is one of my best friends. Aside from that, I've kept it to myself.
Versacehottie Posted August 19, 2013 Posted August 19, 2013 i'm excited for you. It sounds promising. As the poster above said, i wouldn't say anything else to other co-workers (even the one that's you good friend). It can be a lot of pressure with others invested in/having knowledge of your feelings before you are actually dating. Plus you can never be sure how that information is treated once it's out there and passed along. Communicating in dating and pre-dating stages is tough enough between two without others messing it up. I would definitely keep flirting. And I'm not sure that it needs to be subtle. Adjust based on what she is showing you. Definitely try to have some more of those group nights out, continue to text and even if it's possible do something together alone. I would pursue the flirting co-worker avenue--you kind of both know what's going on without saying so. Also I wouldn't give her too much of knowing that you're a sure thing. She shouldn't feel like your her boyfriend without actually committing to it. That, at this point, would give her the best of both worlds. (a real boyfriend and you) and not the momentum to end it with the other guy. So flirt enough that she is wanting to explore what could be with you without knowing for sure that she has you in the bag. It will probably take a bit of back and forth. Also you said you "maybe" want to date her. Use the extra time, flirting and ambiguity of the situation to find out that you really want to move forward. Since you work together, it would be more trouble than it's worth if you find out after you get together or hook up that you don't want to date her. Good luck&let's us know how it goes!
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