SamStokes Posted August 18, 2013 Posted August 18, 2013 After a long time of being "friends" with my ex and the one man I have truly loved I deleted him from Facebook because he seemed to have a new partner and I could not cope with it. Far from flaunt his new relationship he seemed very private. It just wasn't for me. I needed to get rid of all my friends for a long time and just focus on myself. I needed distance from everyone. When I am hurt or trying to heal I like to in a way run away and travel and just be on my own to sort of become myself again. I had the opportunity to become friends with him but at the time I was still in romantic love with him during break up. I feel like maybe I was emotionally immature and wonder what he thought about me when he saw I had vanished. It does seem ridiculous to me that we stayed online friends for over a year and then I deleted him. He is I suppose evidently more mature and grown up than me. Though before dating him and learning about myself post break-up I always thought I was weathered and really mature. I want almost more than anything to re-connect with him and see what happens. I know it won't be anything more than friends but at least he would be in my life again. I don't make many friends etc and the main reason is because I prefer to have great friends that are few than simply ever adding to my social circle. I would rather a few people that know everything about me and I can share with deeply. It is hard in life to find really deep, smart people who are kind and generous with good hearts. When I find one I fall in love with them as friends. I really have never bought into never speak to exe's again. I never got this. You should be friends during relationships and if you are smart enough to go for a lover who you also really like not just lust or love and they are great people then being friends should be something you hope for post break up. I am just really worried how I will come across if I re-connect with him. If I explain I deleted him because it was all too much for me then I will seem needy, weak and pathetic possibly. At the same time I do not want to be the crazy ex who thinks of themselves and pop's up in an ex's life when they may have a new partner. Despite my intentions of only friendship I know how this could throw a spanner in the works of maybe their jealous partner etc. It is really I don't know ironic. But me deleting him may in his mind and others think "oh well your ex want's nothing more to do with you ever". When in reality I did it so I could distance myself and not cause damage so one day we could be friends.
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