Gingerlee Posted August 18, 2013 Posted August 18, 2013 Hi guys! So it's been a while that I've posted, because for the most part I've been completely fine. (tiny back story, with my ex three years, he left me during a miscarriage, we were friends with benefits till April, hes now in a relationship with a 17 year old and moving out with her after 2 months) Problem is, I've been feeling so lonely lately. The only guy I was truly excited to date has completely cooled down and I don't think he is that interested in seeing me again. I feel absolutely crushed and have started missing my ex, despite the fact that he was horrible, manipulative and heartless. All I can think about is how wonderful our first two years together were, and I find myself bringing him up often in conversation. I know he doesn't care about me in the slightest. The miscarriage has left me pretty much infertile and I'm having a lot of issues with my pelvic region, and not once has he ever asked if i'm okay, if I'm dealing with the loss of our son or if I'm okay just in general. He does not care. I know he is really not the person he said he was for three years but I can't help feeling so cripplingly lonely recently. I have not seen or spoken to my best friend in almost a month because she's so loved up with her boyfriend, who happens to be my brother's best friend, and I'm forever having to see his girlfriend (both relationships I set up!) I just feel like I can play cupid for everyone else, but when it comes to me I'm just left alone. I guess I just need some tactics to not succumb to these feelings, because I've been doing okay, I really have, and I don't want to ever go back to the dripping mess I was when my ex first left me. Thankyou for all the help you guys have given me!
Knoxpwns Posted August 18, 2013 Posted August 18, 2013 (edited) Hi guys! So it's been a while that I've posted, because for the most part I've been completely fine. (tiny back story, with my ex three years, he left me during a miscarriage, we were friends with benefits till April, hes now in a relationship with a 17 year old and moving out with her after 2 months) Problem is, I've been feeling so lonely lately. The only guy I was truly excited to date has completely cooled down and I don't think he is that interested in seeing me again. I feel absolutely crushed and have started missing my ex, despite the fact that he was horrible, manipulative and heartless. All I can think about is how wonderful our first two years together were, and I find myself bringing him up often in conversation. I know he doesn't care about me in the slightest. The miscarriage has left me pretty much infertile and I'm having a lot of issues with my pelvic region, and not once has he ever asked if i'm okay, if I'm dealing with the loss of our son or if I'm okay just in general. He does not care. I know he is really not the person he said he was for three years but I can't help feeling so cripplingly lonely recently. I have not seen or spoken to my best friend in almost a month because she's so loved up with her boyfriend, who happens to be my brother's best friend, and I'm forever having to see his girlfriend (both relationships I set up!) I just feel like I can play cupid for everyone else, but when it comes to me I'm just left alone. I guess I just need some tactics to not succumb to these feelings, because I've been doing okay, I really have, and I don't want to ever go back to the dripping mess I was when my ex first left me. Thankyou for all the help you guys have given me! You don't miss him, you miss the preconceived notions you had initially formed of him. I imagine you probably witnessed exactly what I witnessed with my ex-girlfriend. they were someone you loved. You enjoyed what I would imagine is roughly the first half of your relationship with them. Things change, feelings change (even if yours didn't. mine never did, doesn't matter.), time passes on, and you are forced to watch and bear witness to the person you fell in love with transform into a monster you never knew. You, probably like me, cloak the reality of your past significant other with a veil of perfection. The reality is that they treated us poorly, they faked love, they abused us mentally/physically. They turned on us. We lost them, and we can't change it. I don't miss her, because she is not the girl I fell in love with anymore. That girl died, and while my heart is broken that I never got to say goodbye to the girl I fell in love with, I realize that she cannot come back. This new monster has taken over. I miss who she was, not what she became. Perhaps this is the feeling you share. I could be wrong, though. So, reading on, how are you doing? How are you coming along with whats happened? I realize you don't even know me and probably don't want to talk about how you're doing with a complete stranger but I care about anyone who feels the way I have felt these past months. but if you are feeling lonely and down, some people still care about everyone. Its tough coming out of a relationship and having to associate with others in relationships. It was almost surreal to be the third/fifth wheel for the first time in ages. I would still try to keep with them, in these times our friends and family are all we have. best of luck feeling better Edited August 18, 2013 by Knoxpwns
Omei Posted August 18, 2013 Posted August 18, 2013 Tell your friend you're having a hard time and you need her more than usual when my ex broke up with me it was the hardest one yet, you're also dealing with loss talk to your friend about being there for you I did mine when I was at a crazy low actually I asked and explained just how badly I needed her support she very much so made the time for me, she even slept over for a few days. I say this because it sounds like you need your friend a lot =( hope she makes extra time for you! Ask her.
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