Clubber100 Posted August 18, 2013 Posted August 18, 2013 Hey everyone sorry for the long read but this is my story and any help I receive would mean the world to me: So last week I was dumped by my girlfriend after about a 4 month relationship. We are juniors in the same college and met through mutual friends during the school year, and hung out all summer. We basically never had an argument, and it was usually fun. Out of nowhere, she phoned me and said she had been thinking that she wasn't ready for a relationship with school starting again and that she had thought about it for about a week. This really hurt me. It was my first relationship ever, and I think I may have loved her. I treated her as well as I possibly could have and put her on a pedestal, showing her how any guy would be lucky to spend time with her. I begged, I pleaded that we could make it work, but she said she didn't know what she wanted and needed time to figure herself out. I eventually accepted it and was destroyed for a few days. I went NC but she saw I removed her from AIM and Facebook and texted me asking why and if I was angry at her. Stupidly, I responded and poured my heart out to her again. I told her I couldn't talk to her anymore and she agreed. Its been a few days now again (about 4) and I am actually improving significantly from the pain I felt. I now only feel sad for a few moments of the day which still bring a tear to my eye but I am able to feel better for the most part. I do however think of her constantly, usually about how I still wish I could get her back. I really care about this girl and could see a future with us. I know we are young and that its normal for college kids to not know what they want, but I really really miss her even when I don't feel sad. So now in 2 weeks we will both be at college again. I am bound to see her and it will most likely be when we are both intoxicated, as we go to similar parties. I want to let her know that I respect her decision and that its important for her to figure out what she wants, but that I am here for her. I want her to know that as long as I'm alive, she will never be truly alone. However, I don't know if I should initiate contact. I want to be happy but I don't know about moving on. For instance, I know she isn't with any other guy right now. The thought of her needs being satisfied by someone else is the only thing that is unbearable to me. I know that I could hook up with other girls, as I am told by others that I am very attractive (I don't mean that in any way as being cocky). I don't want her to see me though as if I don't care about her or that I am over her, because truly I am not. At the same time, her seeing me sulking isn't a good look either. I am just torn by what to do. Do I go up to her right away and tell her I respect her decision, and that she should figure out what she wants and tell her I am always there for her? Do I play hard to get and make her miss how well I treated her. Do I let myself move on by flirting with other girls, knowing that she will see it and possibly be hard on herself and use some other guy that isn't me? I don't want her to feel any worse than she does for dumping me, she is an unbelievable person to me and I would do anything for her. Also, when someone says they need to figure themselves out and what they want, what does that mean? I mean we never had problems and the intimacy was there, I just want to be the guy in her life. I cry less everyday, but I want her and to see her smile so bad. She is a great person and I just want to be with her. Thanks for reading this.
Author Clubber100 Posted August 18, 2013 Author Posted August 18, 2013 Also, I should add that she was in a relationship with someone else a few months before we started getting together. I believe it lasted about a year but that they weren't great together towards the end. I also believe that he moved on and has been with other girls, and that she has moved on too. There was no reason for me to believe she still has feelings for him but I can't tell if I was just a rebound, which really hurts. The more I think about it, the more I feel that way and I don't know how to deal with that. Should I have not committed so much time and energy into it? How could I be so foolish to think that it would have worked out? Those are my feelings right now, and like I said before, I have had a couple of good days where I don't feel so bad. However the thought of it being final and not being able to have a future with her, or the thought of some guy taking my place really is what upsets me, because I treated her so well and things were so good.
Author Clubber100 Posted August 21, 2013 Author Posted August 21, 2013 Please can someone help me out? I am having a tough day with moving on again. I have seen pictures of her and she looks so happy, but she swears there is no other man in her life. But when we were together it was such joy too, but it makes me feel so bad that she looks so happy. I want to beg her to take me back or tell her I will wait for her to figure out what she wants but I know that isn't attractive. No man could possibly care for her as much as me, why isn't that enough in this life? Im attractive, have a lot going on for me, am funny, have deep conversations, have a life of my own, am not clingy but also show her attention. I just can't figure out what I didn't offer her that she is looking for. She was in serious relationships in the past and even her last boyfriend got a lot more time than I did. Why the hell do I have to deal with this it hurts so bad I cant stand it
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