Women should approach

[SouthpawSaviour]

Is the traditional male approach completely contrived at this point?

 

If what makes a male attractive (and from my understanding, still quite unclear to me) involves more effort on the mans part (degree, job, personality, good fatherly traits, etc...) and thus renders so many men, according to the women undatable and gives females more power in the dating realm, and so many messages/approaches by males are met with standoffish behavior or just a 'no', then why aren't women doing the approaching?

 

A girl posted something saying ' simply saying hello or whats up isn't going to impress me guys' today. I replied "What kind of messages are you sending out then?" to her. To which she replied "Ask her a question about something in her profile. And she used the word GIRL, as if there was an assumption that I wanted to ask how I would approach a girl, when in fact I was asking how SHE would approach men.

 

Is this textbook female narcissism? I've seen this expectation as rampant among young girls. Do todays parents just teach their daughters to sit around looking pretty and waiting for men to approach them like some primitive animals do in the wild? Is there nothing seperating us from wild animals? And is this the consequences that come from living in the midwest where the female population is rather low relative to major metropolitan areas, where the more single women there are, the more likely it is that someone would approach me instead of me having to send out messages hundreds of girls only to just keep getting rejection. Can't we progress in our thinking?

[sweetkiwi]

-------News flash-------

 

Some women do approach.

[Southern Cal Dude]

They do, just not average men.

[SouthpawSaviour]

Like the shrinking middle class and entry level employment, the average males are left up crap creek without a paddle. The hot good looking men have no problems because they're hot. The chubby or gross looking guys garner sympathy and are assumed to be sensitive so they have no issues either it seems. So where does that leave the average man?

 

You'll get no argument from me Jamie.

[hoping2heal]

Is the traditional male approach completely contrived at this point?

 

If what makes a male attractive (and from my understanding, still quite unclear to me) involves more effort on the mans part (degree, job, personality, good fatherly traits, etc...) and thus renders so many men, according to the women undatable and gives females more power in the dating realm, and so many messages/approaches by males are met with standoffish behavior or just a 'no', then why aren't women doing the approaching?

 

A girl posted something saying ' simply saying hello or whats up isn't going to impress me guys' today. I replied "What kind of messages are you sending out then?" to her. To which she replied "Ask her a question about something in her profile. And she used the word GIRL, as if there was an assumption that I wanted to ask how I would approach a girl, when in fact I was asking how SHE would approach men.

 

Is this textbook female narcissism? I've seen this expectation as rampant among young girls. Do todays parents just teach their daughters to sit around looking pretty and waiting for men to approach them like some primitive animals do in the wild? Is there nothing seperating us from wild animals? And is this the consequences that come from living in the midwest where the female population is rather low relative to major metropolitan areas, where the more single women there are, the more likely it is that someone would approach me instead of me having to send out messages hundreds of girls only to just keep getting rejection. Can't we progress in our thinking?

 

It's not just the parents teaching girls that. Society is teaching them that, their peers are teaching them that, the media (which most are constantly surrounded by some form of) is teaching them that.

 

Us females get messages sent from every direction that our value is wrapped up in our physical beauty, and that the more of that physical beauty we have then the more entitled to a man treating us like royalty that we are.

 

Men (generally, not all) treat women who are physically attractive with a high tolerance for bull**** behavior. They can lie, be manipulative, behave bratty, immaturely, and I could go on and on and on BUT this is all glossed over thanks to her hot bod and gorgeous face. It's not just men who respond this way either but the thing is that other women see it. Other women notice it happening, teenage girls and young girls witness it and it just reinforces the idea into their heads.

 

If a man has a problem with princess complexes and self-absorption then there's not a damn thing you can do about how other people treat women but you could at the least start treating women as people and not Barbie dolls.

[sweetkiwi]

Like the shrinking middle class and entry level employment, the average males are left up crap creek without a paddle. The hot good looking men have no problems because they're hot. The chubby or gross looking guys garner sympathy and are assumed to be sensitive so they have no issues either it seems. So where does that leave the average man?

 

You'll get no argument from me Jamie.

Uh oh. I better tell all the "average" chubby dudes I've perused and dated that we weren't really dating. Must've been a nice dream.

 

The "average" guys who have women approaching them have an edge. They don't think of themselves as "average", and have redeeming qualities such as intelligence, sense of humor, and not taking sh.it so seriously.

[Divasu]

Is the traditional male approach completely contrived at this point?

 

If what makes a male attractive (and from my understanding, still quite unclear to me) involves more effort on the mans part (degree, job, personality, good fatherly traits, etc...) and thus renders so many men, according to the women undatable and gives females more power in the dating realm, and so many messages/approaches by males are met with standoffish behavior or just a 'no', then why aren't women doing the approaching?

 

A girl posted something saying ' simply saying hello or whats up isn't going to impress me guys' today. I replied "What kind of messages are you sending out then?" to her. To which she replied "Ask her a question about something in her profile. And she used the word GIRL, as if there was an assumption that I wanted to ask how I would approach a girl, when in fact I was asking how SHE would approach men.

 

Is this textbook female narcissism? I've seen this expectation as rampant among young girls. Do todays parents just teach their daughters to sit around looking pretty and waiting for men to approach them like some primitive animals do in the wild? Is there nothing seperating us from wild animals? And is this the consequences that come from living in the midwest where the female population is rather low relative to major metropolitan areas, where the more single women there are, the more likely it is that someone would approach me instead of me having to send out messages hundreds of girls only to just keep getting rejection. Can't we progress in our thinking?

 

I get it... You (as a man) want to feel wanted, special, sexy, desired. Right?

 

Totally fair, and, there are women who do approach.

So rest assured, your Princess Charming will one day find you.

[crude]

I get it... You (as a man) want to feel wanted, special, sexy, desired. Right?

 

 

Compared to feeling I'm just another idiot on a long list of idiots compiled by a woman through OLD, yes.

[tbf]

Can't we progress in our thinking?

The opening post is self-serving, attempting to shame women into approaching so it's easier on men, specifically yourself.

 

This is the core of princess mentality, that the world revolves around the individual so the world should change to ease life for the individual.

[ScreamingTrees]

Not to burst your bubble, but I don't think women are any less hesitant to approach in "metropolitan" areas, living within close proximity to one myself. Perhaps I'm not the best one to ask, because I've never been approached in my life and I wouldn't count on it, regardless of the reason as to why.

[Southern Cal Dude]

Let's see...

 

Option A

 

I can be a Man, take matters into my own hands and ask out 10 women and get 5 dates.

 

Or...

 

Option B

 

Cross my fingers, hope, pray, wait patiently, etc. and try to convince 7 billion people that the way it's been done since men and women have walked the face of the earth is backwards.

 

Personally, I'm going with Option A. I like being a Man, making it happen and I'm far too lazy to even think about / attempt Option B.

 

I honestly don't get it... Is walking up to a woman, introducing yourself, having a conversation and asking her out really that difficult? How do you guys function in life if you can't do something as simple as that?

 

 

But you can take option A, reverse genders, and apply it to women. The person who's approached has more power. I'd rather have that power, but I'm also good looking enough where I'll get approached so I can afford to hold out. Chasing is for average men.

[tbf]

In real life instead of Internet meme life, people of either gender do approach. But it depends on their natural personality type and also, what personality type is compatible to theirs.

 

If a woman prefers a more dominant, confident personality type for a partner, she's not going to approach instead giving age old signals where the male in question will pick up on those signals.

 

If a woman prefers a passive partner, she will approach.

 

If a woman prefers someone in between, she'll approach some of the time and not others.

 

There are so many permutations of the mating dance, that to say it must be all one way or another, would be unrealistic.

[Knoxpwns]

Let's see...

 

Option A

 

I can be a Man, take matters into my own hands and ask out 10 women and get 5 dates.

 

Or...

 

Option B

 

Cross my fingers, hope, pray, wait patiently, etc. and try to convince 7 billion people that the way it's been done since men and women have walked the face of the earth is backwards.

 

Personally, I'm going with Option A. I like being a Man, making it happen and I'm far too lazy to even think about / attempt Option B.

 

I honestly don't get it... Is walking up to a woman, introducing yourself, having a conversation and asking her out really that difficult? How do you guys function in life if you can't do something as simple as that?

 

 

Or Option C

 

Be a man, take matters into your own hands, ask women out, WHILE AT THE SAME TIME women feel free to take matters into their own hands too, because this isn't Animal Planet and I shouldn't be pigeonholed into puffing out my chest and shaking my tail feathers in the song and dance of my species as the sole way to attract a mate.

 

Yes, I get how it's always been done. A lot of **** has been done the same way, and while I'm sure plenty have a "if it ain't broke don't fix it" mentality, I prefer a mentality of progression. If women really want to be treated equally (which they absolutely should be) then I see no reason as to why women shouldn't be more ambitious about their life decisions, including finding a mate and not expecting a line of guys to do whatever it is I saw some bird doing on the last episode of North America.

[ltjg45]

Let's see...

 

Option A

 

I can be a Man, take matters into my own hands and ask out 10 women and get 5 dates.

 

If only what you said was actually true (which it isn't in my case)....

 

I honestly don't get it... Is walking up to a woman, introducing yourself, having a conversation and asking her out really that difficult? How do you guys function in life if you can't do something as simple as that?

 

In this generation, hell yeah.

 

Women, in general, here in Jacksonville and within my age group, just doesn't care much for conversation. I already asked out at least 8 women I had some interest in, at least half of them told me they have a boyfriend. The rest just isn't interested.

 

Only one women I actually keep in contact with and I may be nothing more than an ego boost for her at the end. I don't know just yet where I stand with her. She has a boyfriend but she has shown interest in me and doesn't seem convinced that her current boyfriend is worth keeping in the long run so......yeah.

[Mascara]

I used to approach. No more. Many men think they'd like it, but when it actually happens they don't. What they actually mean is "if you're hot enough I wish you'd approach me".

 

If he's not that attracted to you, here's what happens -

 

"Oh wow, a woman finally approached ME! Ok, not quite my type, but hell. When does that ever happen? Ok, so I'll go on a date with her. Hmmm still not much happening in my dating life, but I know she likes me because she's the one that approached. So I'll keep going out with her. Not really feeling it, but what if no woman ever approaches me again? Okay, now it's been going on a while. She's not much of a challenge, she made it obvious she liked me by asking me out. And she's not my type, not sure I would have asked her out. Getting bored now. Should probably move on."

 

And that's why I don't approach. It's NEVER a good relationship when I have.

 

When you approach - Unless a man is completely repulsed by you, he'll very often drift into dating you because being approached is such a novelty. But you can just feel that he's not really into it.

[Southern Cal Dude]

I used to approach. No more. Many men think they'd like it, but when it actually happens they don't. What they actually mean is "if you're hot enough I wish you'd approach me".

 

If he's not that attracted to you, here's what happens -

 

"Oh wow, a woman finally approached ME! Ok, not quite my type, but hell. When does that ever happen? Ok, so I'll go on a date with her. Hmmm still not much happening in my dating life, but I know she likes me because she's the one that approached. So I'll keep going out with her. Not really feeling it, but what if no woman ever approaches me again? Okay, now it's been going on a while. She's not much of a challenge, she made it obvious she liked me by asking me out. And she's not my type, not sure I would have asked her out. Getting bored now. Should probably move on."

 

And that's why I don't approach. It's NEVER a good relationship when I have.

 

When you approach - Unless a man is completely repulsed by you, he'll very often drift into dating you because being approached is such a novelty. But you can just feel that he's not really into it.

 

 

Women also date men they're not into. Men like being approached...by women they find attractive. Somehow, I don't think they'd have a problem if Angelina Jolie approached them.

[Mascara]

Generally, women have no problem saying "sorry no". In my experience, men won't do that. Because they're so shell shocked at being approached. Instant rejection has got to be better than stringing someone along for a month until the novelty wears off.

 

Honestly, I'd approach a lot more if men could just say "sorry no".

[Mascara]

What's worked for me is allowing men to approach. Why would I change that now?

 

Me too. Doing the approaching was an experiment that failed. No more.

[Imajerk17]

It's actually easier for guys like myself (an average guy, on the surface anyway, who DOES approach) that women do not approach.

 

If women did approach they would be approaching the taller better-looking younger guys. They don't though, and these guys typically don't approach women either. That leaves an opening for someone like myself, and as I do approach, I have made the most of that opportunity, plenty of times.

 

So I prefer the way things are now.

[Southern Cal Dude]

Generally, women have no problem saying "sorry no". In my experience, men won't do that. Because they're so shell shocked at being approached. Instant rejection has got to be better than stringing someone along for a month until the novelty wears off.

 

Honestly, I'd approach a lot more if men could just say "sorry no".

 

 

You are highly mistaken. Women all the time accept date offers from guys they're not into. You obviously want to approach, as evidenced by your last sentence. Maybe women should start learning to say "sorry, no" or not lie and say they have a boyfriend when they don't.

[Mascara]

Well as I say, my experience is that guys are a bit nonplussed by being approached, and they'd rather be the ones to do it. So I don't do it any more.

[StanMusial]

I don't really care if women "approach" or not. I have been approached on occasion and in some cases I really wished she hadn't. Other times it was fine.

 

At some point you have to nut up or shut up. If you're too scared to talk to girls then you probably shouldn't have a girlfriend.

[ltjg45]

Ask out more till one says yes.

 

I have a hard enough time finding women worth asking out to begin with.

 

You are joking, right? You really see yourself as an option / back up plan?

 

No but since I have no other better prospects than her at this moment, I'm willing to be patient. I have nothing to lose.

 

You make it sound like I have other options to explore. Right now, I don't.

[Revolver]

Females approaching men tend to be hit or miss in terms of success, and the thing is its important to define success here i see it as a meaningful relationship.

 

Yea i feel the average woman has a MUCH higher yes percentage when approaching a man then the average man does when approaching a woman. But The thing is tho most guys aren't going to turn down what they see as easy ass and that's what the average guy will think when a girl approaches and asks him out.

 

Him saying yes doesn't necessarily mean he likes you at all

[Southern Cal Dude]

Females approaching men tend to be hit or miss in terms of success, and the thing is its important to define success here i see it as a meaningful relationship.

 

Yea i feel the average woman has a MUCH higher yes percentage when approaching a man then the average man does when approaching a woman. But The thing is tho most guys aren't going to turn down what they see as easy ass and that's what the average guy will think when a girl approaches and asks him out.

 

Him saying yes doesn't necessarily mean he likes you at all

 

 

No guy is going to waste their time on someone they're not into. I sure wouldn't. Not only is it a waste of her time, but more importantly, its a waste of my time.