My Story - A broken engagement

[ro1978]

I'm new to this forum, though when I went through a breakup over 3.5 years ago, I did find message boards to be of some solace. At that time I discovered my long term gf had cheated on me, and was totally blindsided

 

Some background. I'm in my mid 30s of an 'ethnic' background. I was born in Toronto and live close to the city. I'm lucky to be a great profession that I love. I think my greatest strength is that I'm a kind man, and I think most of my friends would strongly endorse that.

 

I got engaged in Dec of last year, after 20 months of dating. She had moved in with me away from her home town of Toronto a few months before getting engaged. She's nearly 5 years younger, well educated (though not happy in her profession of choice) and we hit it off almost immediately after meeting at a charity event. She's an attractive woman of primarily english/irish background. Her family is surprisingly the more conservative one - but both families have welcomed each of us warmly, though I did introduce her late.

 

We started fighting over wedding plans in february, and I basically caved in most of the time. To be frank, I never started any fight per ce - but got pulled into one. At the same time, we bought a place together, and now she feels that I made her move to a location that she does not like (she loved the place when we were looking, and of course did all the steps to buy it). And more recently, now that it looks challenging for her to make a career change to where she wants to go (which is my career), she has been regularly verbally abusive to me over any perceived slight I give her about her profession (which I never do - this is internal). She now wants to break-up, and I am devastated. I have gone over the moon to help her with her aspirations and being supportive with time and resources to a point it doesn't make sense. I suppose I'm not comfortable going through the specifics on this forum - but would love to talk to someone willing to listen in a private chat.

 

Suffice to say, I am devastated beyond belief, and not sure how to move on. I know that people of course move on from these episodes, and that in 1-2 years, I'll likely be healed. But at the moment, there is literally no hope in my soul. I also feel so far set back and feel that she wasted so much of my time - I want marriage and children - and now fear that those things may not happen. I love her, and will miss her terribly.

[Kant]

I'm so sorry you lost her and the dreams that went with her. My only consolation is the end of a relationship now, is better then a devorse down the track. Good luck

[iouaname]

I am so sorry, that must be really difficult

 

Also, mid-30s is not too old for marriage and children!

[Balzac]

Marriage and children won't happen now because you're mid30ish?? You sell yourself short. Your ex suffers from intrinsic unhappiness, you were saved from eternal misery.