stabilizing or not into me... again?

[what's up with that]

Well I've been in this relationship for 4 years. He has been a roller coaster ride ever since our first break up. He broke up with me because he was giving way more than me in the relationship. Few months later we made up but he was distant, not as attentive, all simple gestures of love were also missing and he wasn't as caring (verbally and in actions). He was a guy of four calls + a day, wanted to see me every day, paid a lot attention to details and was always attentive of my needs (taking me to places I had to go, wishing me luck on important things, called a lot and was interested in my things). Anyways, two years of waiting for him to change, he did. He left me again, simply put he was not that into me anymore. He became very awful those few months but eventually we came back together again. And this time he was great! He was the guy I had been waiting for all those years, very happy for both of us. But few months later he had to travel abroad for three months because of his work. During that time we did great until we didn't. We had a small argument and he shut himself down again. Few weeks later we talked things through and are ok. I talked same day he arrived about what happened (he was really happy to see me then not so excited, I could've waited but I was going to explode). But the problem is he's back to the distant guy again. He has assured me he's not talking to anyone and says he still sees us for the long term but he's sketchy about future plans. Says general things but no specific plans, not so many calls during the day, not too caring but not in zero as before either and he's not too eager to see me (although it's different than before, it's not overwhelmingly distant). Any idea of what's up?

[hestheone66]

you weren't ready for his love and attention then he was scared to be that open knowing how painful the rejection was... either you accept its broken and move on or give it. chance. sounds like what ypuve said is all about what he can do for you..play it forward if you want him. what does he want from you to make him secure. to be honest sounds like you are just incompatible. why did you get back the first time and who initiated it?

[what's up with that]

Well, may be so. We eventually, came back together and had 6 great months together. But he is at it again and this time I tried very hard to change my shortcomings. It was all I could really do... work on myself and let everything else unfold. I initiated it the first time we reconciled. The last time, it was him. We came back because we missed and loved each other, at least for my part.