affairaddict Posted August 18, 2013 Posted August 18, 2013 I've reconnected with a guy I knew when I was 15. I used to like him back then but he was with someone else. We knew each other for a few years. I'm in my 30s now, he is too. We both have kids. He was in An 8 year relationship which lost the spark sex feeling etc. they broke up once a year ago, he says he found it hard went out drinking a lot off the rails a bit. Got back together went on holiday, he was up for trying , she wasn't interested in sex or conversation. Just cold. They split up 2 months ago, and she's moved out. He says it was mutual and it was for the best. Anyway we've been dating and he only talks about her if I ask. He talks about me, is attentive, a good listener treats me well, calls me every day etc.. I'm enjoying it. Thing is how do I know for sure hes open to a new relationship down the line or if he's pining for her and I'm a rebound? I've asked him and he says he doesn't love her and they won't ever get back together. Perhaps I should trust his word and take it day by day.
MidwestUSA Posted August 18, 2013 Posted August 18, 2013 Your last sentence. Do that and enjoy life, for now! It's all you can do. 1
HumptyDumpty Posted August 18, 2013 Posted August 18, 2013 Yep! Don't over-think things! It could be! Or it could not be! You have to trust him on this by his actions! Is he still in contact with her? That could be a warning sign! But not even that... it really depends! So trust him and enjoy the time! He's an adult who knows what he's doing! And no responsible adult right in his mind would start a relationship when still pining over the recent ex! If it really bothers you, talk to him about him, tell him about your feelings and be comforted by his words! But don't imagine things and stick to them! Good luck for your new love
Author affairaddict Posted August 18, 2013 Author Posted August 18, 2013 Yeah he sees her a lot to pick up kids. They are amicable. I don't mind. I get the impression there will be drama if he gets a new gf, as she's been saying "you're seeing someone aren't you!"
veggirl Posted August 18, 2013 Posted August 18, 2013 He is 2 mos out of an 8 year relationship? It doesn't matter if he was "checked out" for the last year or whatever, it is WAY too soon to consider dating him seriously. You are the rebound, no doubt. He misses having someone around, I'd really not get attached to this guy. He has a history of breaking up and getting back with her--he just did it a year ago! You are probably a stepping stone for him back to her. Unless he can be single for a while, not with her and not with anyone else, he isn't ready to date. 1
Author affairaddict Posted August 18, 2013 Author Posted August 18, 2013 That makes no sense. If he checked out of the relationship a year ago then he's had more time to move on. So would not see that as a problem. My worry would be if he hadn't checked out and was 2 months out. I'm going to continue to hang out with him and not sleep with him take it really slow.
veggirl Posted August 18, 2013 Posted August 18, 2013 That makes no sense. If he checked out of the relationship a year ago then he's had more time to move on. So would not see that as a problem. My worry would be if he hadn't checked out and was 2 months out. I'm going to continue to hang out with him and not sleep with him take it really slow. well last time he was "checked out" he ended up getting back together with her. Im just saying, 2 months is waaay to short of a time to PROPERLY move on from an 8 year long relationship. 1
Author affairaddict Posted August 18, 2013 Author Posted August 18, 2013 I would say most couples split once and give it one last shot if there's kids involved.. I agree it's early, he does treat me well there's no pressure for any sex or anything he just likes being in my company. I may look at it as a slow burner. We were already friends so I would be happy to continue as such as I said with no sex or staying over. Then perhaps revisit things next year if going ok. Thanks for the advice. I appreciate all opinions x
Recommended Posts