tired and

[repguy1]

First time posting so here it goes.

My wife of 16 years 20 years together is on an all girls trip to Vegas and I’m basically sick over it. She originally sold the trip as a young authors book signing. It turned into a 50 shades of grey author type signing with strip joints and such. A little back ground we have two great kids and she was involved in a fire that left skin grafts on her arms and a long hospital stay a few years ago. We have been fighting pretty hard for over 6 months now. The threats to leave and how I don’t pay her enough attention. This basically started 6 months ago when I found hidden credit cards and had to take out a sizable loan to pay it. She has always had a shopping problem. Hiding clothes and what ever she buys and brings them out at a later time. Since her accident she has pulled away from all of us. Having this live for today attitude. I’m pretty sure she’s not cheating but the financial lies are getting old. For the last three months she’s been on the iPad constantly reading these romance type novels and shopping. Ignoring the family not constantly doing the household things like cooking, cleaning food shopping. I tried to make a budget to keep things under control. We both make a decent living. But she still spends and hides. With the Vegas thing I made it clear for 3 months I didn’t want her to go but wouldn’t stop her because I didn’t want to be that guy. But she went anyways. While there I let her know how upset I was. It really didn’t faze her. I even asked her to take the earlier flight home. Her comment was the second part of the book-signing wont be over. I’ve pretty much been the kid’s caregiver for two years now and tonight they told me they don’t feel like they have a mother. And all she does is lie in bed and ignore them (both teenagers) I'm at wits end. I may not be the best guy and I blow up and yell allot about the financed but I provide well both emotionally and financially. I don’t believe in divorce but not sure what to do. Any advice would be helpful

[It-is-what-it-is.]

Hi,

 

Sorry for your pain.

 

I assume the wife is back.

 

Only thing I can say is she is displaying signs of depression. Really common when something major happens like her injury. It could have triggered underlying mental illness or something. You should go with her to your family doctor and discuss it together.

 

But...it may be a lost cause. Sometimes the best thing is to cut your losses. Take care of your kids and protect your financial future.

 

Good luck

[hayewils]

Hey Repguy,

Sorry to hear the news. I do want to comment on the last post by It-is..

I have a work related injury that resulted in a lost finger...

I cant help but wonder from what It-is mentioned about depression from injuries.

I do remember when I lost my finger I went through a stage of depression, it was like I lost a part of me, which I did, but it was like It was much more..

I walked around for years with my hand in my pocket. I felt like an outcast.

sometimes those things can affect people in ways you don't understand.

Seems like her going to vegas may have been her way of getting away from reality... Not quite sure what to say other than that. Im sure we will have more comments as this progresses.. good luck, keep posting.