suckered Posted August 18, 2013 Posted August 18, 2013 I met this guy online about 4 weeks ago. We only exchanged few messages before we met in person. On the first date, we really hit it off conversationally. He kept stopping the conversation to tell me "Wow you are so beautiful". He told me that he would like to see me again. After I got home he texted how he had a great time and I responded in kind. A week went by with no word from him. I didn't contact him either. Then he called and asked me out again. We spent the whole day together. We had lots of fun but he made no physical move. He told me that he hates multi dating and that he only dates one person at the time. He wanted to know if we are on the same page. I fully agreed with that. After I got home, he again texts me to tell me that he feels like he can be himself around me and that's very rare. I respond that I look forward to seeing him again. Few days go by with no contact. I text him first and we text back and forth. He often takes hours to respond to a simple text. I am talking 10 hours or so. I asked him if he wants to get together on the weekend and he agrees. We go to dinner and then to a bar. When we were walking outside, he grabs me and kisses me very passionately. It was hot and we made out for a bit. I really felt the spark. He also made references about things we would do on future dates. He asked me about my relationship history. When we parted, he said "Thank you for another awesome night". Again, no contact. I really don't want to initiate first. What do you guys think? Not into me or just moving slowly? I really can't tell as I am getting a lot of mixed signals. Especially the week that went by after the first date with nothing from him.
Star Gazer Posted August 18, 2013 Posted August 18, 2013 I think he's lying about only dating one woman at a time; other chicks are keeping him occupied. 6
Axee Posted August 18, 2013 Posted August 18, 2013 He is moving slowly. If he was lying he wouldnt have told himself that he doesnt multi-date. Do not initiate . Let him initiate else you will fall into that pattern. Strictly.Do not initiate 2
Axee Posted August 18, 2013 Posted August 18, 2013 Focus on your life. I know you like him but focus on your life, the same way he is focusing on his.. 3
BluEyeL Posted August 18, 2013 Posted August 18, 2013 Yes, he is moving slow, but also his interest doesn't seem to be very high, despite what he said on the dates. If he was so into you he would see you more often and he would otherwise contact you at least evrey other day. Do not text first and do not ask him out again. If he really likes you he will reach out. But for this to continue, I would say he would need to step it up. If he reaches out, do mot sleep with him until you understand what's up witb him and make sure his interest is high, otherwise this has the potential to become a fwb situation. I'd say in fact you should drop this guy, it's not how you should be pursued. Maybe he made the multidating comment bc he wants to speed up going to bed with you, knowing many women want exclusivity before that. So he tells you he's not multidating so you'll feel ok with sleeping with him although he doesn't seem to make dating you a priority. Look at his actions not his words. 1
affairaddict Posted August 18, 2013 Posted August 18, 2013 The fact he's saying you're so beautiful and over complimenting is a huge red flag always. Every guy I've dated who say that turn out to be players. 4
Rikko Posted August 18, 2013 Posted August 18, 2013 I met this guy online about 4 weeks ago. We only exchanged few messages before we met in person. On the first date, we really hit it off conversationally. He kept stopping the conversation to tell me "Wow you are so beautiful". He told me that he would like to see me again. After I got home he texted how he had a great time and I responded in kind. A week went by with no word from him. I didn't contact him either. Then he called and asked me out again. We spent the whole day together. We had lots of fun but he made no physical move. He told me that he hates multi dating and that he only dates one person at the time. He wanted to know if we are on the same page. I fully agreed with that. After I got home, he again texts me to tell me that he feels like he can be himself around me and that's very rare. I respond that I look forward to seeing him again. Few days go by with no contact. I text him first and we text back and forth. He often takes hours to respond to a simple text. I am talking 10 hours or so. I asked him if he wants to get together on the weekend and he agrees. We go to dinner and then to a bar. When we were walking outside, he grabs me and kisses me very passionately. It was hot and we made out for a bit. I really felt the spark. He also made references about things we would do on future dates. He asked me about my relationship history. When we parted, he said "Thank you for another awesome night". Again, no contact. I really don't want to initiate first. What do you guys think? Not into me or just moving slowly? I really can't tell as I am getting a lot of mixed signals. Especially the week that went by after the first date with nothing from him. I feel like he's been occupied with other women besides you. Whatever the case do not initiate any contact. And while he's busy dating other women why not you date around with some guys that you might think will hit it off as well and not only invest in him 100%. 1
Rikko Posted August 18, 2013 Posted August 18, 2013 I met this guy online about 4 weeks ago. We only exchanged few messages before we met in person. On the first date, we really hit it off conversationally. He kept stopping the conversation to tell me "Wow you are so beautiful". He told me that he would like to see me again. After I got home he texted how he had a great time and I responded in kind. A week went by with no word from him. I didn't contact him either. Then he called and asked me out again. We spent the whole day together. We had lots of fun but he made no physical move. He told me that he hates multi dating and that he only dates one person at the time. He wanted to know if we are on the same page. I fully agreed with that. After I got home, he again texts me to tell me that he feels like he can be himself around me and that's very rare. I respond that I look forward to seeing him again. Few days go by with no contact. I text him first and we text back and forth. He often takes hours to respond to a simple text. I am talking 10 hours or so. I asked him if he wants to get together on the weekend and he agrees. We go to dinner and then to a bar. When we were walking outside, he grabs me and kisses me very passionately. It was hot and we made out for a bit. I really felt the spark. He also made references about things we would do on future dates. He asked me about my relationship history. When we parted, he said "Thank you for another awesome night". Again, no contact. I really don't want to initiate first. What do you guys think? Not into me or just moving slowly? I really can't tell as I am getting a lot of mixed signals. Especially the week that went by after the first date with nothing from him. I feel like he's been occupied with other women besides you. Whatever the case do not initiate any contact. And while he's busy dating other women why not you date around with some guys that you might think will hit it off as well and not only invest in him 100%.
pyramid Posted August 18, 2013 Posted August 18, 2013 Ok, giving him the benefit of the doubt - say he's really not seeing other women, but he's just the type of person who needs a lot of alone time, or is really busy with work/friends/etc, or he hates texting/phone calls/communication - none of these things make him a good match for you. I'd move on. 1
truth_seeker Posted August 18, 2013 Posted August 18, 2013 The fact he's saying you're so beautiful and over complimenting is a huge red flag always. Every guy I've dated who say that turn out to be players. Over complimenting, yes. Telling a woman she is beautiful, not so.
affairaddict Posted August 18, 2013 Posted August 18, 2013 I disagree. Telling a women she's beautiful on a first date is a red flag it's OTT that can come later. A simple you look nice is enough
truth_seeker Posted August 18, 2013 Posted August 18, 2013 I disagree. Telling a women she's beautiful on a first date is a red flag it's OTT that can come later. A simple you look nice is enough What if he says: "you look beautiful" - that a red flag? I've told women they've looked pretty and they love it. It's a compliment.
Simon Phoenix Posted August 18, 2013 Posted August 18, 2013 I disagree. Telling a women she's beautiful on a first date is a red flag it's OTT that can come later. A simple you look nice is enough Wow, really?
New User Posted August 18, 2013 Posted August 18, 2013 The fact he's saying you're so beautiful and over complimenting is a huge red flag always. Every guy I've dated who say that turn out to be players. Four weeks, they've made out once, and you think he's a player? I won't say you're wrong, but I will say that if you're right he's the worst player ever.
me002 Posted August 18, 2013 Posted August 18, 2013 He shows all signs of a married man or at least someone who already is in a relationship. Waiting forever to reply to text is only one f the red flags. I would cut him off. Just like so many others said before if he where really interested he would see and talk to you more often.
paigej91 Posted August 18, 2013 Posted August 18, 2013 The advice I'd give you depends on what you're looking for and if you're willing to handle his busy-ness. I am guessing he's not in it seriously right now, and either a) just wants to have fun or b) likes you/thinks you're cool, but doesn't want to actually be your boyfriend. If you too are equally involved with your own life and don't mind the casual, non-committal nature of this "thing" then keep seeing him. However, if you're finding yourself unsatisfied with the type of relationship you have right now, I'd say just be friends with him. Start talking to him less, but don't burn bridges. Good luck! 1
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