Where is this going? Friends or more?

[my03]

Recently I met this girl who was working for a relative and new to the country. I asked for her number and said i would show her around. She brought her roomate who is also new to the country and it turns out the original girl had a bf back home.

 

Anyway I take both of em out and we have a good time we add each other on Facebook and a week later her friend asks we should go for a drink sometime (the three of us) and we exchange numbers. The three of us have been out another couple of times and we have a good time.

 

Anyway those two girls don't live together anymore and recently Ive been hanging out with the friend by herself. Dinner and lunch a few times, I also helped her move and we occasionally chat online. This girl is pretty attractive and I think I'm starting to like her. I think we seen each other 4 times in the last week for various reasons! Moving house, dinner lunch etc.

 

I'm not quite sure if she just sees me as a friend or more? She always seems to be up for meeting up, but there's no real flirting going on, we gave each other massages cause we both had sore backs lol. I'm definitely bf material, I have a job, got a apartment, and quite comfortable hanging out with her not too shabby in the dress or looks department but I wouldn't rate myself good just average or a bit above.

 

But I'm not sure if she just sees me as a friend cause she doesn't know many people here yet or if she sees me as more?

 

Are there any signs I should look out for? Anything I should do?

 

Any help would be really appreciated.

 

Thanks

[my03]

Anyone wanna give me some advice? Would be greatly appreciated!

[Skyraider829]

Recently I met this girl who was working for a relative and new to the country. I asked for her number and said i would show her around. She brought her roomate who is also new to the country and it turns out the original girl had a bf back home.

 

Anyway I take both of em out and we have a good time we add each other on Facebook and a week later her friend asks we should go for a drink sometime (the three of us) and we exchange numbers. The three of us have been out another couple of times and we have a good time.

 

Anyway those two girls don't live together anymore and recently Ive been hanging out with the friend by herself. Dinner and lunch a few times, I also helped her move and we occasionally chat online. This girl is pretty attractive and I think I'm starting to like her. I think we seen each other 4 times in the last week for various reasons! Moving house, dinner lunch etc.

 

I'm not quite sure if she just sees me as a friend or more? She always seems to be up for meeting up, but there's no real flirting going on, we gave each other massages cause we both had sore backs lol. I'm definitely bf material, I have a job, got a apartment, and quite comfortable hanging out with her not too shabby in the dress or looks department but I wouldn't rate myself good just average or a bit above.

 

But I'm not sure if she just sees me as a friend cause she doesn't know many people here yet or if she sees me as more?

 

Are there any signs I should look out for? Anything I should do?

 

Any help would be really appreciated.

 

Thanks

 

If you're hitting it off as friends, then good for you. But I would watch and see how she acts around you. Be observant and see if she "hints" something.

 

This early in your interactions with her it will be ambiguous and hard to tell. So evade making assumptions on your own just in case she doesn't romantically like you. Right now there is a fifty-fifty probability but its up to you to interpret any signs she may give you.

 

Can you list anything in detail that makes you think she does like you more than a friend?

[my03]

Thanks skyraider,

 

Honestly there's not much at all, other than the fact she's always keen to meet up and we're quite comfortable around each other. I know that doesn't mean much. We were talking about my ex before and she did mention something like "a decent guy like me would be hard to find" something like that but I guess a friend could say that as well. She will also msg me almost daily after work to tell me how it was or ask me how my day was.

[Skyraider829]

Thanks skyraider,

 

Honestly there's not much at all, other than the fact she's always keen to meet up and we're quite comfortable around each other. I know that doesn't mean much. We were talking about my ex before and she did mention something like "a decent guy like me would be hard to find" something like that but I guess a friend could say that as well. She will also msg me almost daily after work to tell me how it was or ask me how my day was.

 

You're sort of flying in clouds with this right now by virtue of analogy.

 

But hey, if she sends a warm compliment like that your way, you can say she sees your decency, geniuneness and goodness and I am not saying to take that and run with it, but I wouldn't think too many females would tell a guy that. Its only my opinion but nonetheless that's a wonderful compliment to be paid. You can't deny that, right?

 

If she messages you frequently, being minimal in assumption - at least you can deduce that she certainly likes you as a friend and that can be the best way to start, if your current relationship goes down that road.

[TB Rhine]

Nah, they've been out together several times. The OP needs to bite the bullet and make a move already.

 

And for God's sake, if she shuts you down, don't keep getting roped into helping her move and what-all. This is classic male slave behavior.

[Skyraider829]

Nah, they've been out together several times. The OP needs to bite the bullet and make a move already.

 

They have? I must have missed his original post then.

 

In that case, yeah go ahead and make some sort of move.

[my03]

Thanks for the replies guys. I think it's time to make a move too. She yet either likes me that way or she doesn't and it's time to find out.

 

Problem is I've only even made moves on girls in club or bar situations, or when I've been dating my girlfriends for a while. Never have I been in a situation where there has been no physical or verbal flirting yet and I just go ahead an make a move. Is it too early? Do you guys have any good ideas on how to make this move or escalate?

[Babolat]

Anyone wanna give me some advice? Would be greatly appreciated!

 

Don't be so quick to Facebook women.

[my03]

correct me if I'm wrong, but this is smelling more and more like friendzone!

 

I didn't msg her for a day, and she messaged me today in her lunch break asking me what I was doing. I asked her how she's been, she said her collegues are pissing her off. I told her don't worry it's just work blabla.

 

She asks me what im doing tonight, and I said i might have plans, and she told me the days she was free.

 

Anyway I get back to her tonight and say I'm busy, but let's meet up tomorrow- she says yes. So im thinking tomorrow is the time to make a move!

 

A few hours later I ask her how her day was and she replies ":), im happy today" and I'm like why? you met a guy? and she said kind of, she said a cute guy asked her for her number. and I said great, congrats, it'll probably be the first of many.

 

Anyway, she tells me how he's shy cause he got a friend to ask for him, and she also said he's 10 years younger than her and there might be no future with him. I said, who cares about the future, you're just having fun anyway?

 

Anyway she changes the subject and asks me what im doing and she thought i was busy?

 

Now i'm really confused? If she was interested she wouldn't tell me she's happy cause a cute guy asked for her number would she? Is she trying to make me jealous or what?

 

Should i just bail on this chick? Not even bother meeting up with her tomorrow? Perhaps freeze her out for a while? What do you think? Honestly, id be nice to have something happen between her and i but it's not the end of the world! Not gonna waste my time if im just friends. But having said that if she's thinking about the future she's definatley thinking about me! i'm her age, i have a career, amy own place, ready to settle down...getting mixed messages here!

 

Please help! Should I just pull the plug on this whole mission?

[Skyraider829]

Thanks for the replies guys. I think it's time to make a move too. She yet either likes me that way or she doesn't and it's time to find out.

 

Problem is I've only even made moves on girls in club or bar situations, or when I've been dating my girlfriends for a while. Never have I been in a situation where there has been no physical or verbal flirting yet and I just go ahead an make a move. Is it too early? Do you guys have any good ideas on how to make this move or escalate?

 

Disclaimer: This is coming from own perspective on dating / familiarization matters.

 

I don't go for the "I'm gonna make a move on her and see how she reacts!" tactic. Doesn't sit with me too well. Its not about confidence. I could just bound up to a girl and ask her that and most likely I'll get a rejection. Why? I tend to view from the grounds of courtesy. To a woman, I would assume (in most cases, every single person is different from the other) that if I, or some stereotypical chap just asks her if she digs him, she would be turned away. Now she may not, but still what is that sound like to the woman? It sounds like:

 

"I don't really care about what you think, I just want to know if we can date because I like you even though we barely know each other."

 

The lack of courtesy and regard towards her is as blatant as a deer in the middle of the road. It seems that the male and female psyches vary in this department. If a guy gets approached and is immediately asked out - assuming he has no present relationship, by a woman he figures as attractive, he'll most likely fold and go for a date. Some may not. Like with me though, I would ask if we could hang out sometime or even just start chatting away right then and there. That way, I am familiar with the person, I can get a feel for them and determine if a date is really in order.

 

In some instances, approaching a girl and asking her to go out may sweep her off her feet and blow her mind because she is really receptive the fact that the guy finds her attractive. But sooner or later, personality comes out and if you just spontaneously date - well you are in the dark about that because you have no idea what the person is like.

 

Going back to the quoted example above, its almost like the guy just shops around for the girl and finds one and says "Hey, I'll ask her out!" These are not cavemen times nowadays. I would say a date is far more likely, and that a woman is far more likely to really like you if you make the effort to know her, spend some "non-dating" time with her as a general acquaintance or friend and then go for asking her out on a date. Its more polite, you know each other to a fair extent, and can already enjoy your company together plus you have that familiarization beforehand.

[Skyraider829]

correct me if I'm wrong, but this is smelling more and more like friendzone!

 

I didn't msg her for a day, and she messaged me today in her lunch break asking me what I was doing. I asked her how she's been, she said her collegues are pissing her off. I told her don't worry it's just work blabla.

 

She asks me what im doing tonight, and I said i might have plans, and she told me the days she was free.

 

Anyway I get back to her tonight and say I'm busy, but let's meet up tomorrow- she says yes. So im thinking tomorrow is the time to make a move!

 

A few hours later I ask her how her day was and she replies ":), im happy today" and I'm like why? you met a guy? and she said kind of, she said a cute guy asked her for her number. and I said great, congrats, it'll probably be the first of many.

 

Anyway, she tells me how he's shy cause he got a friend to ask for him, and she also said he's 10 years younger than her and there might be no future with him. I said, who cares about the future, you're just having fun anyway?

 

Anyway she changes the subject and asks me what im doing and she thought i was busy?

 

Now i'm really confused? If she was interested she wouldn't tell me she's happy cause a cute guy asked for her number would she? Is she trying to make me jealous or what?

 

Should i just bail on this chick? Not even bother meeting up with her tomorrow? Perhaps freeze her out for a while? What do you think? Honestly, id be nice to have something happen between her and i but it's not the end of the world! Not gonna waste my time if im just friends. But having said that if she's thinking about the future she's definatley thinking about me! i'm her age, i have a career, amy own place, ready to settle down...getting mixed messages here!

 

Please help! Should I just pull the plug on this whole mission?

 

I suppose you can still meet up with her tomorrow, why not?

Is she trying to make you jealous? Difficult to say over a phone call.

 

Don't bail - yet. See if she wants to carry on more after you meet up with her tomorrow. That should give you some further insight.

[my03]

Thanks for the replies guys.

 

I don't really know what the difference is between a date and what we'be been doing? I've met her for dinner or lunch or to hang out about four times by herself now. Isn't that pretty much dating?

 

We're quite familiar with each other and got to know each other now. There's not much flirting going one maybe she's shy? Where should I take it now?

 

As for yesterday's text, I don't know it just seems a girl wouldn't tell a guy she liked that she was happy cause a cute guy asked her for her number would she?