How easy is it for a woman to attract a lower level/rating man?

[CrystalCastles]

What the title says. How easy is it for, suppose, a high ranking woman to attract a lower ranking man?

 

Can the lower ranking man have any insecurities about this? Is there a way he might be thinking, this woman is just playing with me because she can get better men than me. Or does he just go for it?

[HoneyBadgerDontCare]

Well I tend not to date "higher ranking" women....not because I'm intimidated by them, but because I have a dominant personality. I tend to clash with alpha women and, while I might be interested in a fling with them, I wouldn't be able to date them as long term partners.

[tbf]

I have a dominant personality.

If your online personality is anything like your real life personality, you're not a naturally dominant personality type. More of a stubborn personality type.

 

As far as levels are concerned, I find the levels concept pretty stupid. People are going to be attracted or not.

[Star Gazer]

I can easily attracted men of a so-called "lower level" than me. I just don't want them, typically.

[darkmoon]

lower-income men? lower-ranking men?

only if they have an ambitious - realistic - plan for improvement, and don't expect others' cash (and are fun)

it's childish to expect somebody else to look after you

ditto women, tbh, you could say

Edited August 18, 2013 by darkmoon

[HoneyBadgerDontCare]

If your online personality is anything like your real life personality, you're not a naturally dominant personality type. More of a stubborn personality type.

 

Hahahaha I am quite stubborn. Good observation.

 

You've been scoring some major points with me with some of your recent posts. Well done.

[todreaminblue]

i would want to know for sure who decided a man is at a lower level and the woman who is at a higher level who made the distinction is it status financial or social?...i have never looked at a man and thought he was at a lower level, i have thought after getting to know that man hey this guy isnt right for me not because i thought i was better than him....but we didnt have similar beliefs or whatever it was...i have been told that i would outgrow a man i was dating and i did....deb

[hotpotato]

It's easy for any woman to get a man to be sexually attracted to her.

 

It doesn't matter if she's attractive or not.

[salparadise]

Can the lower ranking man have any insecurities about this? Is there a way he might be thinking, this woman is just playing with me because she can get better men than me. Or does he just go for it?

 

There area bunch of things that need to align for there to be a sustainable sense of compatibility. What HBDC said about alpha women can certainly be an issue. People have different ways of attributing value. The ideal situation is when both people see the other as being slightly above them in terms of desirability quotient or mating equity (hate the word ranking). That happens when it's mostly balanced but each one places a premium on some characteristic the other has (usually something in common with one of their parents).

 

I dated a woman for several months who made an unbelievable amount of money and had high social status in her community (partly due to her ability to write checks). It started out really well but I became aware that we didn't share some values that are important to me, and I think she realized that she needed a man of equal or higher social status and/or income. I was initially attracted to her outgoing, extroverted nature and she was attracted to my introspective and adventurous inclinations. Eventually I found her alpha or male energy, attitude of entitlement, superiority etc. unappealing and ended it. I just beat her to the punch––I'm sure she would've ended it if I hadn't.

 

Lesson learned... you just can't force the fit even if both people initially like the idea of what the other person brings to the table. There is a natural order to this stuff that you can't override with mere intention.

[salparadise]

It's easy for any woman to get a man to be sexually attracted to her. It doesn't matter if she's attractive or not.

 

Sort of. Everyone does the best they can. Men need vagina, so a man with no options has no standards. Women, on the other hand, are all about standards and will hold out until hell freezes over for one of the few men they deem worthy.

[hotpotato]

Sort of. Everyone does the best they can. Men need vagina, so a man with no options has no standards. Women, on the other hand, are all about standards and will hold out until hell freezes over for one of the few men they deem worthy.

 

Ive seen men chase very unattractive women when they had a hot one at home. So I wkuld definitely say men have no or very low standards regardless of their options. Lets never forget, vjayjay has no face. For men its more about quantity and novelty.

[salparadise]

Ive seen men chase very unattractive women when they had a hot one at home. So I wkuld definitely say men have no or very low standards regardless of their options. Lets never forget, vjayjay has no face. For men its more about quantity and novelty.

 

There is certainly that tendency in men, but not all men act on it. I was faithful during 23 years of marriage despite having many opportunities with hot women (hotter than the W). And I'm not talking about imaginary opportunities either. Oh I felt the urge for sure but having an overdeveloped superego I reluctantly suppressed it –– now that I'm single again I'd give anything for some of those opportunities to present themselves again. I wonder what those women thought when I didn't go for it?

[tbf]

Sort of. Everyone does the best they can. Men need vagina, so a man with no options has no standards. Women, on the other hand, are all about standards and will hold out until hell freezes over for one of the few men they deem worthy.

Men don't need sex any more or less than women. You're presuming a lot based on untruths.

[hotpotato]

There is certainly that tendency in men, but not all men act on it. I was faithful during 23 years of marriage despite having many opportunities with hot women (hotter than the W). And I'm not talking about imaginary opportunities either. Oh I felt the urge for sure but having an overdeveloped superego I reluctantly suppressed it –– now that I'm single again I'd give anything for some of those opportunities to present themselves again. I wonder what those women thought when I didn't go for it?

 

Good for you. However, most men I have known are cheating or actively pursuing a female outside their relationship. The woman much of the time isnt even an upgrade.

[man_in_the_box]

Ive seen men chase very unattractive women when they had a hot one at home. So I wkuld definitely say men have no or very low standards regardless of their options. Lets never forget, vjayjay has no face. For men its more about quantity and novelty.

 

If you could not speak for an entire gender that would be great.

[CrystalCastles]

Good for you. However, most men I have known are cheating or actively pursuing a female outside their relationship. The woman much of the time isnt even an upgrade.

 

Yeah but that's cheating. I think it's a bit different, no? I think a man isn't looking for a permanent attachment from another woman, since he already has his W or gf. So he isn't going to be all that big on ranking.

 

I read somewhere that men tend not to look into the whole looks or status thing when they want someone on the side (I know I'm generalizing, I don't mean this applies to everyone, and I could very wrong).

[salparadise]

Men don't need sex any more or less than women. You're presuming a lot based on untruths.

 

That's probably true in a purely physiological sense, but women tend to be more selective and have stringent prerequisites prior to seeking fulfillment of that basic need. Wouldn't you agree? I'll refer you to any thread in which the demure miss RR has participated. How much of that is biological vs. societal I don't really know. Studies have been done on college campuses where very attractive males and females asked random strangers if they'd like to go home and have sex. Something like ninety percent of females get affirmative responses vs. virtually zero percent of the males. If you dig deeper into the Kinsey studies you'll find that females are getting around more than the college studies would suggest but still not on par with the men.

 

I don't know why I am arguing this with you. I know that you've got a damn good argument in your pocket and are just waiting for this response to prove that I am clueless.

[hotpotato]

Yeah but that's cheating. I think it's a bit different, no? I think a man isn't looking for a permanent attachment from another woman, since he already has his W or gf. So he isn't going to be all that big on ranking.

 

I read somewhere that men tend not to look into the whole looks or status thing when they want someone on the side (I know I'm generalizing, I don't mean this applies to everyone, and I could very wrong).

 

I see what you are saying.

But still, men's standards for women in a sexual sense are very low. It's easy for women to attract men most of the time, whether or not she is attractive, high rating/level, or what not.

 

It takes very little for men to be attracted to women whether or not he is looking for something on the side.

[serial muse]

What the title says. How easy is it for, suppose, a high ranking woman to attract a lower ranking man?

 

Can the lower ranking man have any insecurities about this? Is there a way he might be thinking, this woman is just playing with me because she can get better men than me. Or does he just go for it?

 

Huh. I don't really think this "ranking" thing makes much sense, and don't subscribe to it. It's so subjective, IMO.

 

But the tricky part is that that doesn't mean that men I've dated don't subscribe to it. I found out, to my sadness, that some certainly can. To me, that's the real disconnect. If a guy I choose to date because I like him decides that he's "lower-ranking" and then chooses to resent me (hello exH - yep, he basically told me this), I'm still SOL, even if I didn't buy into it in the first place. Ranking is annoying and counter-productive.

[hotpotato]

Men don't need sex any more or less than women. You're presuming a lot based on untruths.

 

I tried to believe that for many years.

Then I noticed what a struggle it is for men to go without. I would definitely say men need sex more than women most of the time. Many men have very high sex drives as opposed to women whose drives are largely cyclical.

 

Men having sex drives isn't inherently bad. Men and women are just different.

[Keenly]

Ive seen men chase very unattractive women when they had a hot one at home. So I wkuld definitely say men have no or very low standards regardless of their options. Lets never forget, vjayjay has no face. For men its more about quantity and novelty.

 

You are painting with waaaay too broad of brush. What you are saying does not describe men like me at all. There have always been those girls that try so hard to get me but its just not there for me.

 

And quantity over quality? No way.