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Multidating etiquette question: Should I upload pics of me and my new guy to FB?

Amethystic

By Amethystic
in Dating

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Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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Wow... you really suck at reading comprehension. Either that, or an alarming number of people on this site like to make suck a** and incredibly negatively biased attempts at psychoanalyzing.

 

No, re-read what I posted. I'm much more interested in guy B. I find him more attractive, we're more compatible, and we actually have romantic potential. But I'm a multi-dater, and guy B and I aren't exclusive yet.

 

In fact, I'm dating other guys besides guy A, and the only reason he's the only person who's relevant in the facebook situation is because he's the only guy I'm dating who I'm facebook friends with (he found me, I don't just add people).

 

I'm aware that this "fling" with guy A doesn't have any potential - I don't care. Just because most women here are frothing at the mouth to get married and pop out babbies doesn't mean that it's EVERYONE'S objective. Some people just enjoy dating for the f*cking sake of dating! If I'm having fun and don't have any expectations (which I don't), it isn't a waste of my time.

 

All I asked for was advice on whether or not posting photos of myself with the new guy would be a faux pas. I'm perfectly capable of managing my romantic life. Women aren't stupid, fluffy headed creatures who fall in love and want to get knocked up by every dick that swings their way. The misogyny on this board is unreal.

 

This post in response to something as simple as what you quoted... massive over-reaction. Apparently, you enjoy creating drama for yourself.

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Amethystic Member

Amethystic

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Interesting how you are trying to turn this on tbf just because she cut through your BS.

 

 

There wasn't any "BS" to cut through, just the negative projections and silly assumptions of a spiteful, jaded person.

 

People post photos on facebook to show off and to project a certain image.

 

That may be the reason why YOU use facebook, but I'm not desperate for approval and validation like you are. See, it's not fun when people make assumptions about you, is it?

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Amethystic Member

Amethystic

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Apparently, you enjoy creating drama for yourself.

 

And apparently, you like projecting. You're obviously addicted to drama - otherwise, why post?

Emilia Established Member

Emilia

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There wasn't any "BS" to cut through, just the negative projections and silly assumptions of a spiteful, jaded person.

The problem is though that she isn't spiteful nor is she jaded. She was merely speaking the truth.

That may be the reason why YOU use facebook, but I'm not desperate for approval and validation like you are. See, it's not fun when people make assumptions about you, is it?

Nope. I don't post photos of myself with men and I certainly don't start a thread on it ;)

 

You can make as many assumptions about me as you like, as you can see it's not me who is being defensive here :)

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Amethystic Member

Amethystic

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OP, I have recently been guy A. In fact I was a little bit alarmed because the tone of your posts and some of the topics so closely mirrored this girl I had dated. But not to worry, there are a few major things there which confirmed you are definitely not her :p

 

Anyway, she uploaded pictures of her with the other guy to social media sites and it didn't bother me whatsoever. In fact, I recognise that he is much more serious about her than I am so I am kind of stepping aside to give them a clear run at it. I was aware that I was just messing her around, and he isn't - despite being pretty sure that she would prefer to be with me. I was never exclusive with her, I put her on the back burner in recent months and we're both aware of dating other people so it'd be pretty pointless for me to get jealous in all honesty.

 

I don't know if this gives any insight but I wouldn't expect that guy A would mind. It might prompt the other guy to try to make things official with you though, and whether you want to post things on FB without being official anyway is your choice but definitely not something that I'd do.

 

This is terrific insight.

 

I've decided to wait and see how things go between guy B and I before posting the pictures. They were just really nice pics (and I'm not terribly photogenic, so it's like winning the lotto when pics of me come out well), and I really didn't want to do anything that might make guy A feel slighted, but odds are, it wouldn't even be a huge deal to him... we probably won't see each other again after this. The more I date guy B, the less interested I am in spending time with other guys.

 

A lot of good advice here, but some people really blew things way out of proportion :lmao:

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Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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This is terrific insight.

 

I've decided to wait and see how things go between guy B and I before posting the pictures. They were just really nice pics (and I'm not terribly photogenic, so it's like winning the lotto when pics of me come out well), and I really didn't want to do anything that might make guy A feel slighted, but odds are, it wouldn't even be a huge deal to him... we probably won't see each other again after this. The more I date guy B, the less interested I am in spending time with other guys.

 

A lot of good advice here, but some people really blew things way out of proportion :lmao:

 

We blew it out of proportion? :lmao:

 

"They're just really nice pics" = I want to show them off. It's not an irrational leap.

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Amethystic Member

Amethystic

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I know what goes through the female mind.

 

Oh of course! We both have vaginas, therefore we MUST think exactly alike in every situation, no exceptions.

 

Nice Dr. Seuss book-level logic there. You really live up to your username, I must say.

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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Nice Dr. Seuss book-level logic there. You really live up to your username, I must say.

 

The most basic and OBVIOUS logic usually makes the most sense. :)

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RogerWallace111 Established Member

RogerWallace111

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Come on, can't you just take a poster at their word ? Sometimes ? If only to keep to the discussion efficient and save yourself the time you'll spend arguing. It's one thing to give someone who's dangerously delusional a reality check for their own good, but when a person level-headedly, articulately & thoughtfully explains- "no, that's not actually my motivation, I was really just thinking _______________", let it go. Or at least don't respond with further accusations and attempts to analyze/expose the workings of their psyche as you imagine it.

 

Discussion of the post/situation as presented should be plenty, there's no need for hypotheses presented in some confrontational, "I'm gonna blow the lid off this internet stranger's game" way...

 

And note I can of course see where thoughts like Seuss & Gazer's might make sense - that OP cares more about guy A then she's letting on, etc - but once she reiterates that that's not the case, why not just let it rest?

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tbf Established Member

tbf

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Wow... Wrong on all counts, especially about trying to make the guy jealous. I'm here asking if it'll even matter, because I really don't want to hurt his feelings. They're just great pictures and I want to share them with friends/family is all. Have you stopped to think about how frequently you assume the worst of others? Why not give me the benefit of the doubt? Why is it so easy to jump to the most negative conclusion? That must be a miserable way to live.
It's fine if you don't like my advice. Just understand that insults won't stop me from posting. ;)
ddlovexx Established Member

ddlovexx

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I don't think you owe Guy A anything, especially since he doesn't want anything and it isn't going anywhere, so he has no reason to get mad if you decide to post the pics.

 

You say you want to post the pictures, but I would decide if you really actually like this guy enough to do so. If you do, then go for it. They're just pictures (memories)... I think some people take pics/social media too seriously. :rolleyes:

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todreaminblue Established Member

todreaminblue

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sounds really awkward to me to post those pics.......deb......

SantistaUSA Established Member

SantistaUSA

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We have loads in common and enjoy each other's company. There's definitely sexual tension, even if the potential for anything significant is nil (it's been four months and we don't seem to be heading in that direction, plus he waffles whenever I bring up exclusivity = nopesville). We go out for dinner/drinks from time to time, we flirt, we sext. We make out and get grabby on dates (we haven't had sex because of reasons). We enjoy each other's company. But he knows I see other people, and he does also.

 

But I'm wondering if this would be in poor taste, since I'm friends with guy A on Facebook, and yanno, we have this blurry... "flirtlationship" going on. I know I could do the "limit audience" thing, but we have mutual friends and he still could see... and then I'd just look shady for hiding the pics from him.

 

Thoughts?

 

So you say my comprehension sucks, so if you are not that into guy A why would you want to talk exclusivity with me?

 

Also why would you look shady for hiding pics from him? Since he knows you are seeing several guys.

 

Wow... you really suck at reading comprehension. Either that, or an alarming number of people on this site like to make suck a** and incredibly negatively biased attempts at psychoanalyzing.

 

 

I'm aware that this "fling" with guy A doesn't have any potential - I don't care. Just because most women here are frothing at the mouth to get married and pop out babbies doesn't mean that it's EVERYONE'S objective. Some people just enjoy dating for the f*cking sake of dating! If I'm having fun and don't have any expectations (which I don't), it isn't a waste of my time.

 

All I asked for was advice on whether or not posting photos of myself with the new guy would be a faux pas. I'm perfectly capable of managing my romantic life. Women aren't stupid, fluffy headed creatures who fall in love and want to get knocked up by every dick that swings their way. The misogyny on this board is unreal.

 

You do care or you wouldn't be on a popular forum asking for advice.

 

 

A lot of good advice here, but some people really blew things way out of proportion :lmao:

 

You don't have to like all the advices given here, but no need to get angry at the ones you don't like. No need for foul language, you are acting like a kid, again calm down ;-)

hoping2heal Established Member

hoping2heal

Posted
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Wow... Wrong on all counts, especially about trying to make the guy jealous. I'm here asking if it'll even matter, because I really don't want to hurt his feelings. They're just great pictures and I want to share them with friends/family is all. Have you stopped to think about how frequently you assume the worst of others? Why not give me the benefit of the doubt? Why is it so easy to jump to the most negative conclusion? That must be a miserable way to live.

 

Okay,

 

No, it is not going to hurt his feelings. If he wanted to date you, it would hurt his feelings. He doesn't want to date you, he wants to flirt with you, sext you, talk. Knowing he doesn't want to date you he won't be surprised to learn that you find someone else to date. He isn't going to see you and the new guy and feel bamboozled.

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