dork42 Posted August 18, 2013 Posted August 18, 2013 I really liked this girl, so I hit on her a bit and asked her to hang out. -We are both in college. -So, we hung out and had fun, she made lots of eye contact and seemed interested, and she hinted at wanting to hang out again. -I asked her if she would like to go out to dinner with me and do some other random outdoorsy stuff with me, and she agreed. -We had a ton in common, and she was flirty and touched me sometimes during this date, and it went well. I did her and her friends a favor earlier in the day, they got into a pickle, so she called me up for help. because of this, she insisted on picking me up, taking me out to dinner (and paying for my meal even though I tried hard to pay for it) ..after the date was over, she drove me back to my place, and when she pulled up, she said she had fun again, so I asked if I could kiss her (yea i know i did that wrong) ..she said no, she was confused, sorta liked a guy that did not like her, and did not want to start a relationship, mostly because she was leaving the country for a couple months..all huge red flags that I totally ignored. So I walked away, but she said "wait", came up and kissed me on the lips, and said thanks for saving me. It did not seem serious. -she agreed to go out several more times after this, all of them were pretty fun, and she still did things that would indicate that she liked me...I know, bad idea. - At this point, because I am a fool, I started liking her a lot. She would be leaving on a vacation for a few weeks soon, coming back for a week, then leaving for inside of half a year. -we had been texting on and off, and right before she was leaving for vacation, whenever I tried to spend time with her there was an excuse or an event going on. -.. here's where it got odd. I decided to keep being a fool, I had written her some poems (fairly mushy ones) and wanted to see if she had changed her mind before she left, so I told her I wanted to give her something before she left. I stopped by her place and told her, it seems like you don't like me, but, (I got immediately cut off here, and she said, no i do like you..its just that, i am leaving for a long time and don't think it would work..) trailed off, ran up and squeezed me to death...then I told her I wrote her some poems, pulled them out of my pocket and handed them over. She stared at my eyes for a long time, and then my mouth, so I kissed her quickly. She then pulled me in tight and kissed me passionately, and I left shortly after. A few days later she messaged me to tell me she loved the stuff I wrote about her, so we talked for a little while. we talked on occasion after that, and she said she wanted to hang out again. So I tried to message her to see when she was coming back from vacation, and it has been a few days and nothing back yet. One thing to note is that while i always had to initiate conversations with her, except the one about the poems, she never used me (except when her and her friends needed a help out) and often was giving me more than i gave her whenever we spent time together. Question 1) Does the "i don't want a relationship right now" red flag apply, even after she behaved so differently toward me, and is leaving for long time? Or did she want to spend time with me but not get emotionally tethered before leaving? (it would be tough to be dating for a month, and then not see your S.O. for several months after that..and it would prob. not work..) Q 2) should I have asked/ask her if she wants a relationship when she gets back, or could that screw it up for me if she was starting to change her mind? ..I'd like to know, so I can make a decision about what to do before she leaves for the long trip..And if I should consider pursuing her when she gets back, if I am not with another girl at that time. I would wait for her if i knew she wanted to start something when she got back, otherwise i gotta get her out of my head, and maybe give a shot when she gets back.
Faith13/2 Posted August 18, 2013 Posted August 18, 2013 Question 1) Does the "i don't want a relationship right now" red flag apply, even after she behaved so differently toward me, and is leaving for long time? Or did she want to spend time with me but not get emotionally tethered before leaving? (it would be tough to be dating for a month, and then not see your S.O. for several months after that..and it would prob. not work..) Q 2) should I have asked/ask her if she wants a relationship when she gets back, or could that screw it up for me if she was starting to change her mind? I think she may be a little confused. She probably does like you, but as she said she will be moving and a long distance relationship isn't the easiest thing. If you really like the girl I say you try to keep contact with her while she's gone. Keep it simple just friendly conversation, don't try to force a relationship. When she gets back if everything's still seeming the same between you two, then bring up the relationship idea again.
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