nikkihita Posted August 18, 2013 Posted August 18, 2013 so i shorten up my story. in the past 3 years of our relationship, we fought quite alot but time by time we did change to a better life. we have not been in a big fight these past 2 months. so recently, before she went for a holiday break, we were fine. the problem happened when she return from the 1 week holiday break. oh btw she went back to her parents side house. she started to ignore me. when i started to ask why, suddenly she said she had no heart for our relatonship anymore? i need to ask in girls POV. is it normal a girl to have a sudden change of heart? why can this kind of things happened? this is my assumption. im scared that, she might have been brain washed when she was with her family's side (cuzin's, aunty's). i went to meet her at her house but her mum went at stop me. her point was: 1) we cursed alot when we fight (the has been stop almost 1 year now) 2) cuzins/áunties/uncles said that i was not good enough because i dont know how to mix with them. i have an arrogant face apparently (whaaaa..?) 3) i beat hear up (it only happened once or twice but not beat her up, she was trying to make a scene in public so i have to grip her hand) Apparently all these points have been stop starting early this year. why would these things happened? why would she take any rship advise from other ppl? nothing bad ever happened recently. so I dont quite understand what is happening. it's not fair for me cuz i dont have the same chance to convince her like what their family did. i was on the dark. i know if u could get hold of her, things would be balance. now what she have only the bad side of me. how do i go to solve this things up? btw i did ask her to wander around alone without me AND her family side. meaning without any interuption. asked her to think carefully, clear up her mind, weigh the good and bad before making any decisions. she finally agreed to that. she said she would call me up when she has decided and finally meet me up to discuss the decision. but today i've learned. she blocked me out from her FB page? whaaaa...? sory for the long post but i need feedback
Hoax Posted August 18, 2013 Posted August 18, 2013 It could be that she knew the relationship was over for a long time before you did. Perhaps when she was away she met another guy and had a fling? Sometimes incidents such as those can be the last nail in the coffin when it comes to a relationship. You can't assume that it was her family brainwashing her, as it could just as easily have been what she told them.
Author nikkihita Posted August 18, 2013 Author Posted August 18, 2013 im not sure about a the fling. cuz she went back for season family gathering holiday. whereby there's no one there accept for her family's side. about the told the family bout this might be true, but why did she do all this? and plus, when she decided to make a decision and meet me later on. she did say that, if after do a long thoughts about this. she'll get back to me and if everything turns out well, we'll reconcile. againt im in dark. what could that means?
WordvAction Posted August 18, 2013 Posted August 18, 2013 im not sure about a the fling. cuz she went back for season family gathering holiday. whereby there's no one there accept for her family's side. about the told the family bout this might be true, but why did she do all this? and plus, when she decided to make a decision and meet me later on. she did say that, if after do a long thoughts about this. she'll get back to me and if everything turns out well, we'll reconcile. againt im in dark. what could that means? Sounds like she's in love with someone else. Trying to understand her decisions will only lead to more heartbreak
keepontruckin Posted August 18, 2013 Posted August 18, 2013 nikkihita, you aren't going to like the truth, but there's not much you can do at this point. Now, there may or may not be someone else in her life, but again, there's not much you can do about that either. In time you will learn the truth about that, should you desire to even know. Now, don't beat yourself up about not being given just "one last chance" to prove yourself. It wouldn't make a difference even if you had one. Know how I know? I sort of had a chance to become the ultimate man when my wife up and left. You see, I stupidly furnished the apartment she moved into, so I was physically in her life for a few weeks after she split. We shopped together, I bought her things she needed, etc... I became the ultimate man, changing what I thought had to be changed, and improving on my already good qualities. And I did an excellent job of doing just that. It made no difference. You will not get closure, and you will learn that your significant other views you as nothing more than a friend at best. And trying to remain friends with your ex just doesn't work most of the time. I know it's not what you wanted to hear, but all you can do is focus on your needs, take care of business, and give time a chance to lessen the blow of this kick to the face. Begging and pleading won't help, but you'll probably be angry and also sad. She doesn't care about that anymore though, and doesn't want to hear it. Don't contact her except for business, but maybe let her know you'll leave a line of communication open if she wants to get in touch with you. Most likely she won't, but at least you have left that option open for her. And as time goes on, you'll probably meet someone else. Hopefully by then you'll have gotten over this one, and won't bring any baggage to the new relationship. Also, relationships are like jobs... Some are crappier than others, but every job does teach at least some valuable skills. Use what you've learned in this relationship in your next one. Try not to make the same mistakes again. We're only human, and we all make mistakes, but learning from them is a truly commendable trait...
Author nikkihita Posted August 19, 2013 Author Posted August 19, 2013 nikkihita, you aren't going to like the truth, but there's not much you can do at this point. Now, there may or may not be someone else in her life, but again, there's not much you can do about that either. In time you will learn the truth about that, should you desire to even know. Now, don't beat yourself up about not being given just "one last chance" to prove yourself. It wouldn't make a difference even if you had one. Know how I know? I sort of had a chance to become the ultimate man when my wife up and left. You see, I stupidly furnished the apartment she moved into, so I was physically in her life for a few weeks after she split. We shopped together, I bought her things she needed, etc... I became the ultimate man, changing what I thought had to be changed, and improving on my already good qualities. And I did an excellent job of doing just that. It made no difference. You will not get closure, and you will learn that your significant other views you as nothing more than a friend at best. And trying to remain friends with your ex just doesn't work most of the time. I know it's not what you wanted to hear, but all you can do is focus on your needs, take care of business, and give time a chance to lessen the blow of this kick to the face. Begging and pleading won't help, but you'll probably be angry and also sad. She doesn't care about that anymore though, and doesn't want to hear it. Don't contact her except for business, but maybe let her know you'll leave a line of communication open if she wants to get in touch with you. Most likely she won't, but at least you have left that option open for her. And as time goes on, you'll probably meet someone else. Hopefully by then you'll have gotten over this one, and won't bring any baggage to the new relationship. Also, relationships are like jobs... Some are crappier than others, but every job does teach at least some valuable skills. Use what you've learned in this relationship in your next one. Try not to make the same mistakes again. We're only human, and we all make mistakes, but learning from them is a truly commendable trait... what u said here, does really gave me a long thoughts. Even i have fought til the end? even i had the chance? is she really that worth it? my heart says 50-50 now. i could go on and find a new life but part of it..just asking me to turn back to the same road that brought me here. but i booked her a 50 bouquet of flowers last week. I could not cancel it cuz payment was made. could that really be my last chance?
Author nikkihita Posted August 19, 2013 Author Posted August 19, 2013 Sounds like she's in love with someone else. Trying to understand her decisions will only lead to more heartbreak do u think so? what if she doesnt have anyone else? what are the odds she's having someone else?
BLS Posted August 19, 2013 Posted August 19, 2013 I'm going to preface this by stating I am only responding to the title of the post, I did not read the post itself. One of the biggest parts of accepting a break up is accepting the fact that you do not, nor will you ever, have enough answers to satisfy you. It's very common for people to think "If my ex would just answer this one question.." or "Listen to this one thing I have to say" or "Even if they don't wanna get back together I want them to know this...". All of these are pointless and will do YOU no good. Accept that you will never have enough answers to make you happy, its a bizarre truth. 1
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