dee123 Posted November 8, 2004 Posted November 8, 2004 hello all I am in a fairly standard predicament, I have just started dating a girl who has just recently came out of long relationship. I myself have been looking for someone like her for an age. We have been out a few times and i know she really likes me, but she has mentioned to me that she doesnt want anything 'serious'. But being the type of person i am, i generally have large emotional investment in relationships. basically what does i am not looking for anything serious actually mean. does it mean she wants to take things really slowly or does she just want to see me a couple of times, have her fun and flee. Its all rather confusing. should i finish it now and save myself the pain. ahh i dunno. relationships are serious, are they not?
sunlight Posted November 8, 2004 Posted November 8, 2004 If she wants to date you, and is going to be honest with you. You may want to stick around. She may just be trying to avoid pushing to far to fast to avoid pain herself.
bluechocolate Posted November 8, 2004 Posted November 8, 2004 Originally posted by dee123 basically what does i am not looking for anything serious actually mean....? It means different things to different people. For some it means non-exclusive dating & for others it could be dating only you but on a more part-time convenient basis. If you're at all unsure then the best thing to do would be to ask her to clarify exactly what that means so you know where you stand. However you say that you just started dating so it may be a bit early yet to have that conversation. If you're the type of person to put a lot of emotional investment into a relationship then perhaps falling for someone who has just come out of a long term relationship isn't the wisest thing to do.
Author dee123 Posted November 8, 2004 Author Posted November 8, 2004 both of you comments are very plausable and both have been going through my mind, i will just have to bide my time and take a risk i suppose. thank you
BlueLP Posted November 8, 2004 Posted November 8, 2004 I think biding your time is the best bet. Sometimes people will say that because they think they are supposed to....whether it's something they "decided" talking with their friends or are trying to convince themselves of. If their feelings keep strengthening though, they may magically decide they do want something serious. It's just too early on to tell. Be careful, & good luck.
Author dee123 Posted November 9, 2004 Author Posted November 9, 2004 thanks for the advice, there really are some terribly nice people in the world afterall.
DJ_Dork Posted November 11, 2004 Posted November 11, 2004 When a female says "she is not looking for a serious relationship" or "not looking for a relationship" that means she is UNSURE about you. Which is not a good thing cause within a couple weeks or a month later she might break up with you. Consider this a pre-breakup warning and start looking for other girls immediately.
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