JamesCalf Posted August 17, 2013 Posted August 17, 2013 So I dated a man who fell in love with me for 8 months. He fell in love faster but eventually I fell in love and boy did I fall in love with him. We were both in love. But I had problems staying erect and also big life issues. They took toll on our relationship and eventually he ended it. He said he still loved me and I believe him. But things just weren't working. I just wasn't able to be in a relationship then. Too screwed up.We met several times after break up and I begged, pleaded etc . He obviously still cared greatly but it was painful for us to talk. Just brought back memories. Eventually we went no contact. After 8 months of limited contact I got rid of all contact with him intending it to be a while. It was for the best. He was dating again or it looked like it and I didn't want to appear in the way or get hurt myself. I also felt I would lose him completely unless I got out of the way and all feelings diminished romantically which would allow us to be friends again. Anyway some years have passed and I always wanted to reach out. I still love him. So I waited for his Birthday in June. I added him on Facebook and wished him a happy Birthday. SInce then no reply so I have come to accept he wants nothing more to do with me. I am so shocked to say the least. He is a loving, caring good guy. I am shocked after all this time he was not open to seeing how I was and reconnecting as friends.
FierceFoxie Posted August 17, 2013 Posted August 17, 2013 I don't understand why you are so shocked that he doesn't want to pick up the pieces and reconnect.It's pretty obvious he has moved on and doesn't want to catch up. When one party reaches out, it's because of pure interest still. If you truly moved on and didn't care about him, you wouldn't have reached out to him and he knows this. Rather than give you false hope, he is choosing to show disinterest. Respect his decision and move on. Don't ponder on his reasons why he doesn't want to catch up. If he cares or wants to reopen that door, then he would have reached out.
Author JamesCalf Posted August 17, 2013 Author Posted August 17, 2013 That's a little cold a response is it not?! We are human beings not machines. It was pretty obvious we wanted to be friends or keep in touch just we couldn't because of our feelings...I just thought with time when our feelings had subsided we could be friends again and not be hurt by seeing another with a new person.
FierceFoxie Posted August 17, 2013 Posted August 17, 2013 You said it's been a few years. He has moved on and doesn't wish to open up the lines of communication. I understand you are hurt by his dismisal but if I, a stranger, can pick up your vibes that you still have feelings for this man and aren't over him, then certainly he can also pick up those vibes. Most people don't think it is a good idea to establish any sort of friendship with an ex, whether the split was amicable or not. He most likely has a new partner and doesn't want to jeopardize what he has over an ex popping up.
keepontruckin Posted August 18, 2013 Posted August 18, 2013 James, I'm still married to my wife, and she won't even talk to me about anything Not even about a divorce (which she wants)! James, when they check out, they check out. And years have passed between you two? You must move on. Once you get rid of the old baggage, you'll have room to let in some new baggage. 1
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