verysad3 Posted August 17, 2013 Posted August 17, 2013 (edited) Hello, about a week and a half ago, my girlfriend broke up with me because she says we argue too much. We had been dating for about 4 months, and over the last couple weeks with started letting a lot of petty stuff get to the both of us. We had talked before about our arguments and I agree that I tend to have a hard time letting things go, but at the same time she gets very upset very easily and when she does that its hard to not let the emotions get to me. It got to the point to where she said she feels as if she would be less stressed without me. I told her we could work on things and make it better but she stated that she couldn't do it. Although we were only dating for 4 months, I feel very deeply for this girl as she makes me feel like no other has but in a good way. Yes the relationship was very frustrating at times for both of us but very pleasant as well. Our only problem, and she agrees was the arguments and disagreements, but she feels that because we began doing it so much, we are not meant to be. I know that there is no way for us to know whether we are meant to be or not, but I feel we could definitely get better with the arguing since that was our only problem. I tried doing everything for her to consider working it out, but she just kept saying her mind was made up and she couldn't do it because she didn't want to be one of those girls who constantly tried to work out a relationship that wasn't working. After the night we officially broke up, I called her the next day and told her that I respected her decision and that I wanted us to end on good turns because the night before when the break up talk happened, I was pretty upset. She said she was happy to hear that iI wanted things to be good between us even if we were not together. I then did not try to contact her the rest of the day, until about 1am I received a text from her stating she saw a picture and it made her think of me. We tested each other for a short moment and said goodnight. The next day I had finished and recorded a song that I had written for her that she loved because I played it for her when we were together but she wanted it recorded so she could listen to it whenever she wanted. I sent her the song when I finished recording it letting her know that I just wanted her to have it because it was her song and she then texter me that she misses me and had been thinking about me all day. We talked for a while through text and then she said I could call her so I did. We spoke for a while and I asked her if she would like to get together for something go eat or a movie. She sounded interested but before answering me, she asked me about my smoking cigarettes because I was trying to quit when we were together. Unfortunately I broke down when we broke up and had one, so I was honest with her. She then told me to forget about getting together and she got really upset and..of course we got into it again because I ended up telling her that had I known she would be so upset I wouldn't have told her about it. She then went on to tell me that now she knows I'm capable of lying and couldn't forgive me. I know it was stupid to say that, but my meaning behind it was that I would've done anything to avoid us turning a good conversation into a bad one. I called her the next morning and tried telling her I was sorry but she was still upset. We have talked since then but, I'm afraid that I have lost her for good now. Sorry this is so long and any advice would be greatly appreciated..thank you. Edited August 18, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Faith13/2 Posted August 18, 2013 Posted August 18, 2013 Okay, I'm going to assume that quitting cigarettes was something she had asked of you. I myself am a smoker so I can understand how stressful times call for a cigarette, but if it was something that she had wanted I can see why she got upset. Also while I'm speaking of that subject I'd say making the comment about you wouldn't have told her was a bad idea, yes. Regardless of the outcome of something it should always be truthful and spoken. I think after reading your post she obviously still cares a lot about you, and I do still think there's a chance to fix this. First and for most if the cigarettes were something she didn't like or wanted stopped I would work on that. As for the petty arguments that seem to keep coming up I think that you already seem to know why that is. Try to see things from her point of view with this situation. One thing you don't want to do(unless she makes it completely clear that you should) is leave her alone. I would stick to the random, short texts. A lot of girls want to see that they aren't forgotten, so letting her know she's still on your mind could be a good move. Being able to tell her that you stopped smoking may not fix things right away, but it may give you a chance to show that you're willing to change to make things work. Best of luck!
Author verysad3 Posted August 18, 2013 Author Posted August 18, 2013 Thank you very much for taking the time to read and reply to my post. And I believe that you are right when you say that I shouldnt leave her alone. I will give her some time to sort through her thoughts but will make sure to continue to check in here and there. In the meantime I will take your advice and work on my smoking, because it would be nice to be able to tell her that I have kicked the habbit, that was something that really bothered her. I thank you again for your response, it helps alot.
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