ShannonBanana Posted August 17, 2013 Posted August 17, 2013 I feel like I am looking into that abyss of sadness that I wasn't strong enough to even attempt to look into weeks ago. And it doesn't feel very good. I think 'despair' is the best way to put it....broken hearted. I miss my husband. I miss cooking him dinner every night (even though I don't love to cook), sharing our day together, seeing his face in the morning, and feeling his warm embrace. I feel so badly about that things got this far that we would be watching the sun go down on our marriage. I always thought we would have a chance to work things out. I don't want to let go! I want the marriage to be a fulfilling, bright place for both of us. I want to do the work to make it so and I have always wanted to. But now, at the news of his desire to divorce, I am moving back home to California and he is moving to France at the expiration of our UK visas - next month. We are making plans to officially go our separate ways. I'm sad he got to the point where he made the choice to release all hope. I know he misses me, loves me and that he's hurting too; which makes it harder to come to terms with the impending end of our marriage and to moving on without him...and most sadly to making a new home without him. I want to reach out to him and say "I miss you, I love you, and I am sorry for my part of this". I won't right now because I am committed to giving myself this space to heal, but my heart is saying those words to him with every beat.
2.50 a gallon Posted August 17, 2013 Posted August 17, 2013 SB From reading your other posts I understand where you are coming from. It is extremely heart breaking to realize that our dreams of the future, have been turned into a real life night mares. We both know you are doing the right thing. Like Humpty Dumpty we sometimes have to accept that sometimes relationships are unfixable and there comes a time we have to move on. Most on this board have been there at one time or another. 1
Monodare1 Posted August 18, 2013 Posted August 18, 2013 Hi there Different circumstances but I'm in the same boat. I have now come to realise that as far as my relationship is concerned, all hope is gone. I'm now trying to focus on the future and although sometimes it may seem bleak, you need to hold on to the hope that pain ebbs through time and that no one ends up unloved. I'm putting all my hope and thoughts onto my son and gain strength from him. I tire of people going on at me about what the ex has done to me and I chastise them for it, telling them that I would rather concentrate on the here and now and on the future, than dwell on the hurt and pain of the past. Good luck to you, may you find new love, peace of mind and a happier future
Author ShannonBanana Posted August 18, 2013 Author Posted August 18, 2013 Thank you Monodare1 and 2.50 a gallon for your empathy and understanding. It truly does help to know I am not alone, as I am sure you know you are not alone either. xx
Author ShannonBanana Posted August 18, 2013 Author Posted August 18, 2013 PS - have you two listened to Homer Macdonald's Stop Your Divorce tracks? They are awesome. Here is the link and there are 5 tracks you can access on the left side of the page. Def. worth the time! StopYourDivorce: Homer McDonald Interview - Track 1
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