Sugarkane Posted August 17, 2013 Share Posted August 17, 2013 I make comments on other people's posts, but people don't return the favour. Ouch. I've also tried contacting a couple of people I haven't seen due to distance. But actually catching up in person never happens. I Also wonder if this has something due to the recent fallout with my mutual friend, from my recent post? Could he be bad mouthing me? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted August 19, 2013 Author Share Posted August 19, 2013 Anyone?????!! Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted August 19, 2013 Share Posted August 19, 2013 Uh, most people don't go around keeping score and making sure to return comments all the time. AFAIK many people don't use facebook to keep in contact with each and every one of the people they add to it - lots of them just 'blanket add' a whole bunch of people and forget about it. You're reading way too much into it, IMO. Yes, badmouthing is always a possibility, but to infer that from lack of facebook interactivity is... um. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Avulare Posted August 19, 2013 Share Posted August 19, 2013 Are your own posts worth commenting on? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted August 19, 2013 Share Posted August 19, 2013 FB is a crappy way to think you have friends. No reall effort is necessary. Call people! See them in person! Those are your "friends". 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted August 19, 2013 Author Share Posted August 19, 2013 FB is a crappy way to think you have friends. No reall effort is necessary. Call people! See them in person! Those are your "friends". I've tried but Due to a falling out with one of my friends, I get excluded everytime they do something. Then I try and suggest doing something but nothing ever happens. Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted August 19, 2013 Share Posted August 19, 2013 I wouldn't put so much focus on facebook. It's simply a popularity contest and an insignificant source of insecurity. If you have friends that put so much focus on facebook, or become petty because you and someone else had an issue, it may be time to make some new friends. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
New User Posted August 19, 2013 Share Posted August 19, 2013 I wouldn't put so much focus on facebook. It's simply a popularity contest and an insignificant source of insecurity. If you have friends that put so much focus on facebook, or become petty because you and someone else had an issue, it may be time to make some new friends. I agree with this. FB is (IMO) a cool way of keeping in touch with people that you are geographically separated from and sharing things that you find funny or poignant. It isn't the real world though. It seems like a large portion of people have lost sight of that fact now. At any given time there seems to be two or three threads going on a perceived FB etiquette breach or question. It really isn't important. I've started investing my sense of self-worth in the number of likes I get on LS instead . As silly as that sounds, it really isn't any more silly than getting upset because not enough people are commenting on your posts on FB. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
lionoftheforum Posted August 19, 2013 Share Posted August 19, 2013 Why? Because it’s effortless to “friend” someone. Sure they thought it was a great idea for a second because it feels good to interact when it’s easy… pressing a button is easy… but relationships require effort, sometimes effort that isn’t easy. I make comments on other people's posts, but people don't return the favour. Facebook is voluntary. It’s also impersonal. When the other person doesn’t have to feel the sting of their poor behavior (picture a scrunched face and the other person is standing right there) they are inclined to care less. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted August 21, 2013 Author Share Posted August 21, 2013 I wouldn't put so much focus on facebook. It's simply a popularity contest and an insignificant source of insecurity. If you have friends that put so much focus on facebook, or become petty because you and someone else had an issue, it may be time to make some new friends. But it's not just that. One of my friends cut me off, when I needed support the most. Now I see them going out with mutual friends, who they always exclude me from. I've tried and made an effort with the mutual friends (they were my friends aswell) , they agree but nothing ever happens. Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 But it's not just that. One of my friends cut me off, when I needed support the most. Now I see them going out with mutual friends, who they always exclude me from. I've tried and made an effort with the mutual friends (they were my friends aswell) , they agree but nothing ever happens. Doesn't sound like they are very good friends then. Why put so much effort worrying about people who don't put that same kind of effort in for you? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
UpwardForward Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 But it's not just that. One of my friends cut me off, when I needed support the most. Now I see them going out with mutual friends, who they always exclude me from. I've tried and made an effort with the mutual friends (they were my friends aswell) , they agree but nothing ever happens. You are putting too much importance on these people. In the long run, I have not seen any good come to those who reject others. Scale back, and Embrace your priorities. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted August 25, 2013 Author Share Posted August 25, 2013 Well then Facebook isn't the problem; the real issue is this rift between you and your friends. You had a falling out with one of them and apparently the others have taken sides, unfortunately the side they chose wasn't yours. I wouldn't exactly say the others have taken sides. But the mutual friend continues to exclude me from everything. The others don't know about the rough time and personal problems I've had. What to do? Ask them straight out why I've been excluded when I needed support the most? And tell them about the mutual friend who cut me off, for having personal problems? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted August 25, 2013 Author Share Posted August 25, 2013 (edited) Doesn't sound like they are very good friends then. Why put so much effort worrying about people who don't put that same kind of effort in for you? Because I'm a good person, a good friend and yet found myself in this situation again. Then I see them excluding me from things. I'm sick to death with doing everything right all the time and then being left with no friends. Edited August 25, 2013 by Sugarkane Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted August 25, 2013 Author Share Posted August 25, 2013 FB is a crappy way to think you have friends. No reall effort is necessary. Call people! See them in person! Those are your "friends". Ive already mentioned I've tried that. Then nothing ends up happening and they never meet me in real life. Yet meet they are able to meet my Ahole mutual friend? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted August 27, 2013 Author Share Posted August 27, 2013 So should I actually say something to the mutual friends? Link to post Share on other sites
mea_M Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 I make comments on other people's posts, but people don't return the favour. Ouch. I've also tried contacting a couple of people I haven't seen due to distance. But actually catching up in person never happens. I Also wonder if this has something due to the recent fallout with my mutual friend, from my recent post? Could he be bad mouthing me? Oh I could go on and on about how much I detest social networking. Its not social at all. Its for nosey people to brag about how good their lives are when indeed half the time its not true. I could kick myself in the rear for ever getting involved. To answer your question directly, I think people in general just like the number count of friends and to me its ridiculous. Don't let FB ruin your days. There are better things to do. Mea 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted August 27, 2013 Author Share Posted August 27, 2013 Oh I could go on and on about how much I detest social networking. Its not social at all. Its for nosey people to brag about how good their lives are when indeed half the time its not true. I could kick myself in the rear for ever getting involved. To answer your question directly, I think people in general just like the number count of friends and to me its ridiculous. Don't let FB ruin your days. There are better things to do. Mea But still what do I do about these mutual friends? They don't know the BS I've been going through lately. Link to post Share on other sites
mea_M Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 But still what do I do about these mutual friends? They don't know the BS I've been going through lately. You know its up to you really. If they cause you grief and make you feel bad just click delete and block. You owe them nothing. After a while I found myself doing that. Making for a much happier news feed. However, in general the boasting and egotistical or even hate stuff I was seeing on FB was enough to make me say, yeah enough is enough. Now I don't log in much. If I have something exciting to share and need to reach family and close friends far away, I put it out just to them. Remember FB is not real life. IMO.. Its a big facade. Good luck. Do what's right for you. Mea 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Onward_Upward Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 (edited) Sugarkane, I understand where you're coming from, and the frustration you must feel. I also know the importance young people place on social networking sites like FB... In my opinion, it is way too much! ... But I digress. Firstly, in the end, if you don't know these people very well in "real" life, then what are you worried about? ... Why do their opinions matter so much to you? If they ignore you, does that make you a lesser person? Does it change who you are inside? ... No way! And honestly, if they are that shallow and uncaring that they would pass judgement on you, without even consulting you or knowing the full story, then these so-called "friends" are just not worth your time and effort. My advice is to relax... and take a step back. It's time for a NEW circle of friends... Ones that are willing to "befriend" you in real life, and not just on some fleeting social networking site. - But, if you REALLY want to continue with these people, and you just HAVE to stay in their (pathetic little) "good-books", then you need to address the "ringleader" of the group... If you can make "friends" with the individual you had the falling out with, then that person will give the "go-ahead" to their FB buddies to start communicating with you again. Take this as a tip from someone whose been around the traps a bit... Mind you, it's not what I've practiced, but I have most definitely witnessed it (as sad as it is). To move a flock of sheep, one does not waste time by approaching the sheep directly... rather, you're better off negotiating with the Shephard; because when he says "MOVE!" ... they all move as one Edited August 27, 2013 by Onward_Upward Link to post Share on other sites
pink_sugar Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 I really hate when people on facebook all of a sudden hide you from everything until you're just friends in name only. Seriously, if you're going to block me from seeing everything on facebook, just save yourself some time and remove me entirely. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mea_M Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 I really hate when people on facebook all of a sudden hide you from everything until you're just friends in name only. Seriously, if you're going to block me from seeing everything on facebook, just save yourself some time and remove me entirely. Pink.. This is why FB is ridiculous. As you may be able to tell, I am not a fan. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
truth_seeker Posted August 31, 2013 Share Posted August 31, 2013 Because I'm a good person, a good friend and yet found myself in this situation again. Then I see them excluding me from things. I'm sick to death with doing everything right all the time and then being left with no friends. From one good person to another, hang in there. Good things come to good people. Only bad things happen to good people to send them a message, steer us in the right direction. Link to post Share on other sites
WP4046 Posted September 1, 2013 Share Posted September 1, 2013 I make comments on other people's posts, but people don't return the favour. Ouch. I've also tried contacting a couple of people I haven't seen due to distance. But actually catching up in person never happens. I Also wonder if this has something due to the recent fallout with my mutual friend, from my recent post? Could he be bad mouthing me? Probably trying to win the award for the amount of FB friends. I just had 2 people add me and now talk to me yet LOL 1 Link to post Share on other sites
WP4046 Posted September 1, 2013 Share Posted September 1, 2013 I really hate when people on facebook all of a sudden hide you from everything until you're just friends in name only. Seriously, if you're going to block me from seeing everything on facebook, just save yourself some time and remove me entirely. I;m confused by this, if they were hiding something from you how did u know? Link to post Share on other sites
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