Am I Crazy?

[amarie39]

After reading on this site for a while and seeing how many people had similar stories and got good advice I decided to give it a go.

 

So I started dating a guy, he was fresh out of a serious relationship and was very hurt by it. He warned me he wasn't ready to jump right into one, but we continued to date. In the past I have gone with the notion that when a guy likes you a lot they will try and get you no matter what. We really hit it off and got along well. He even said it himself, that we meshed so well together. He still talked to his ex wanting to be friends, which I was okay with since she dumped him so I knew she didn't want him back.

 

When we were together he was so into me. We would play around, kiss, watch movies, talk. We never had sex but would fool around a lot. He was better at initiating stuff like that because of my nervous inexperience. I would always think of things I wanted to do like reach out and grab his hand, or just grab him and kiss him but would be too nervous and wouldn't know how to go about it.

 

He was very hot and cold with me. He claims to be very bad at making plans so I did a lot of initiating. Some times I would see him every day and some times I wouldn't hear from him for days. Like do you care if you see me? We would run into each other on a whim and he would be so happy to see me and all into me. One night I was out with a friend and he kept texting me. The next day he told me that he cleaned his whole place for the entire day and made his roommates comply just so he could have me over since I am very clean. I asked him why he didn't have me over that night and he said because when he found out I already had plans he lost his nerve.

 

Like I don't know what its like to be in a relationship, but I have had guys pursue me before so I know that they like to text you and do things with you all the time, and one guy even drove far to see me. Like it seemed like he liked me but it wasn't enough. This drove me mad for this guy. I felt like I started chasing him for more attention. I don't expect much and told him I value time over everything else. Then it made me start to question myself ....did I expect too much, didn't do enough, was I good enough etc... I started to get nervous and paranoid. I was so afraid of losing him. I wouldn't hear from him for like a day or he wouldn't text back in a day and I would think he hated me and sometimes would cry.

 

I started going out of my way to hang out with him. I would not want to make plans with anyone in hopes that he would want to with me. He would sometimes or I would initiate plans with him. I would not want to do or say anything wrong so that he would like me. I wish I could have just been myself because that was the person he did like. He would always want to know what was on my mind and open up more and I did become vunerable with him, but I felt I could have more.

 

It would get to the point where we would hang out and then he would make plans with his roommates and go off with them at night to parties and not invite me. This was almost an every weekend thing. We had many long talks about it and I told him I didn't understand if he liked me why wouldn't he ask me to come with him. He said he was uncomfortable with bringing someone who wasn't invited because his roommates bring him along with them. I told him I was disappointed but he didn't change it and I just would take it and take it, because I didn't want to lose him.

 

One day he told me he was hanging with a friend for dinner, when I asked him to have dinner with my roommates and I. He told me later he had dinner with his ex because she was moving away and it was more of a goodbye thing. I thought this was weird, but figured it was friendly and harmless. Now we had been sleeping in the same bed a lot and he loved it. One night we were up late together hanging out with his roommate. He didn't ask me to stay. I texted him why....and he said I totally could and that he likes when I stay he just felt bad because his ex asked him to help her move her stuff out early the next morning and he was going to help her. When I moved out he didn't offer to help me. I was angered by this but said nothing to him. Like I don't know her, but it looks like she asks and he jumps and she knows it. She now has a new boyfriend.

 

One night we fought and he told me I needed to just relax and stop having so many expectations of him. Again I just complied. I decided that maybe I did need to relax. At the end of the day I didn't think I had over the top expectations. I wanted time with him and him to want to spend time with me, and want to take me places. Maybe go out for dinner once, but I understood money was super tight for him.

 

I brought up a relationship with him and he told me he just didn't know, because his life wasn't in order and he just got out of a relationship. He said he ended up liking me way way more than he ever imagined and he really did like me a lot. He wanted to just see how things would go the way we were going. Things kept going and I still wanted a relationship. He ended things saying he wanted to give me more and that he knows he could but things in his life aren't great. I was visibly upset and he told me he didn't realize how invested I was. He thinks we could work in the future. I haven't been contacting him at all, giving him the space he needed since he said he didn't want to be together.

 

He has been calling recently to talk and we talk for hours. He flirts with me and I him. He calls me perfect. I get off the phone disappointed because I know he cant be with me and doesn't want to be at this time. He has told me so many times that it wasn't me at all and I am perfect and I did everything right, it was him, and he wants to get his life together because I deserve the best and he wants to be the best so I get what I deserve. I'm so confused though is it me? I feel like I did everything right too. I tried so hard to trust him, open up to him, and show him I liked him. Its worked on other men, so why not him?? Was I not enough of a challenge, because I know guys like to chase. I gave in. Like it seems like he really likes me still like he claims he does, then why not make me your girl? I still don't contact him because its not fair to me to be too attached to someone who isn't.

 

He has been getting his life together and seems to be getting so much more positive. I'm proud of him but...maybe it was me and he just didn't like me enough, but then why call me still?? He says he still does because he likes me. What the heck is up with this guy?? I want to believe that its just him like he claims. I do believe him and trust him. We live so close it hurts to think we aren't together and I might see him at the grocery store or at the mall. I hate it. Being so close but not together. I hate being single without him.

Edited August 17, 2013 by amarie39

[amkxoxo]

WOW. such a similar story to mine. Makes me think that all guys are the same lol. Read my thread for more insight. Good Luck I hope you win him back. Be careful.