templeofmax Posted August 17, 2013 Posted August 17, 2013 (edited) 4 months post BU, 2 months NC on my end, but always with hope. She basically broke up with me because she got fed up with my anxiety and disrespect when we got into fights. She is insecure, and I wasn't as patient for her as I thought I could be, so we fought a lot and sometimes my anger got the best of me, or my anxiety in involving her family in our issues. Last message I told her I would respect her space and I would work on myself. I know she is starting to work on her issues. Yes, I am going NC for a while longer, but I will SHOW her I have changed and even if I have to be patient for her as she works in her issues, I will give this a FIGHTING chance. My family tells me to move on and probably her family too, but nobody lived what we lived for good or bad and nobody feels what I still feel. Yes, I was a mess during the first 3 months of the BU, but decided to focus on ME, and even though is hard to go NC, I know it is the only way for me and for any chance. I may be dreaming, but we were engaged once and both our anxieties ended what otherwise would had been. Yes, we need to work on communication and build trust and respect again, as hard as it might be, but the only thing that can't be built is LOVE. If she still has feelings for me, I won't give up. Listening to this song made me realize that CHANGE will continue to happen and I WILL see her again soon. Edited August 17, 2013 by templeofmax
Jenny1234 Posted August 17, 2013 Posted August 17, 2013 Wow...good luck! Sounds like you are determined! I'm routing for you! Keep us posted 1
Author templeofmax Posted August 17, 2013 Author Posted August 17, 2013 You ARE deluded. Good luck! Why? Because I am willing to take a risk?
Chi townD Posted August 17, 2013 Posted August 17, 2013 You may be ready to take the risk; but, in a relationship there are two people. And if the other person is completely checked out, then you're wasting your time. But, who knows...prove us wrong. So....good luck?
Author templeofmax Posted August 17, 2013 Author Posted August 17, 2013 You may be ready to take the risk; but, in a relationship there are two people. And if the other person is completely checked out, then you're wasting your time. But, who knows...prove us wrong. So....good luck? Thank you. You are right, maybe the breakup has changed her and she is decided. But maybe she is not done 100%. What we lived was too intense (in the good and the bad) with real feelings involved. I can think of worse ways to waste one's time . However, I have to be ready for a rejection because going back to that dark, dark time is not in my plans. I know it may hurt, but I need to be in a stronger place than now, obviously thinking that I am not waiting a lifetime.
aspiringuitarheroine Posted August 17, 2013 Posted August 17, 2013 Why? Because I am willing to take a risk? No one knows what you're going through? No one's felt this way? No one has loved as much as you? That's the way you're coming across. No love is "once in a lifetime". Inevitably, it comes around again. And getting back with the ex rarely works out. That's why you need luck.
Author templeofmax Posted August 17, 2013 Author Posted August 17, 2013 (edited) No one knows what you're going through? No one's felt this way? No one has loved as much as you? That's the way you're coming across. No love is "once in a lifetime". Inevitably, it comes around again. And getting back with the ex rarely works out. That's why you need luck. Well, I have never been lucky at the Black Jack table, and you know what they say......bad luck in play...good luck in......although judging by my current situation, maybe bad luck in both, hehe Edited August 17, 2013 by templeofmax
Simon Phoenix Posted August 17, 2013 Posted August 17, 2013 Well, I have never been lucky at the Black Jack table, and you know what they say......bad luck in play...good luck in......although judging by my current situation, maybe bad luck in both, hehe I think you need to settle down and continue working on yourself. Like everyone has said, she needs to want it. Without that, it doesn't matter how much you want it, you'll just fail and right now, I think that would send you back to the "dark" place. You need to keep your space until you know that no matter what happens, you'll be OK and that you'll be able to handle any negative or non-existent response from her without breaking down. You aren't there yet, as you are still in la-la land. There might be a time for you to make a play, it's probably not now though. 1
Author templeofmax Posted August 17, 2013 Author Posted August 17, 2013 I think you need to settle down and continue working on yourself. Like everyone has said, she needs to want it. Without that, it doesn't matter how much you want it, you'll just fail and right now, I think that would send you back to the "dark" place. You need to keep your space until you know that no matter what happens, you'll be OK and that you'll be able to handle any negative or non-existent response from her without breaking down. You aren't there yet, as you are still in la-la land. There might be a time for you to make a play, it's probably not now though. You are right. there is no way I am breaking NC after a mere 8 weeks. I also feel, she was always jealous in the relationship and she has broken off, so not being there is what will make her wonder, if in fact she still thinks about me, which after 2.5 years with no love lost, I hope she does. We are both Jewish, from the same country, same values and the families know each other, so its not like she is X and I am Z. The only trouble is the problems in the relationship which never got solved. That is why also pushing for something right now will only take me back and it won't really work in any case. We both need to grow up separately.
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted August 17, 2013 Posted August 17, 2013 Dude, its Friday night. Go DO something. You don't need to be sitting here dwelling on a ended relationship. Sitting dwelling on it isn't what you need and defiantly not what she needs....you are optimistic which is cool I guess, but honestly, no matter WHAT happened previously doesn't matter. The values, memories, etc....that's done. If there was EVER a chance later, its when you two are totally different people. Considering you aren't really doing that, it won't work. I promise you. Listen to Simon, Chi, etc. They know exactly what they are talking about.
Author templeofmax Posted August 17, 2013 Author Posted August 17, 2013 Dude, its Friday night. Go DO something. You don't need to be sitting here dwelling on a ended relationship. Sitting dwelling on it isn't what you need and defiantly not what she needs....you are optimistic which is cool I guess, but honestly, no matter WHAT happened previously doesn't matter. The values, memories, etc....that's done. If there was EVER a chance later, its when you two are totally different people. Considering you aren't really doing that, it won't work. I promise you. Listen to Simon, Chi, etc. They know exactly what they are talking about. You are right. Well, I am traveling tomorrow early in the morning, so its home night tonight. Don't plan on spending time glued here when I am back of course.
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