ls32ssibm Posted August 17, 2013 Posted August 17, 2013 Just an observation, there are some very good looking, classy people on Meetup. Much more so than most dating sites. Point is, you can easily pin points interests (IE, reading, hiking, etc.), look through the member list, and message any person that appeals to you. Most post their location, age, and even relationship status because hell, most are probably single. I'm going to do some scouting tomorrow, but I found a meetup group near me JUST for women in their 20s, and you can see what other groups a person is in so you can easily pick a "target" to message that you have something in common with, so essentially the women only group compiles what I'm looking for. Take a look, let me know what you think. 1
TB Rhine Posted August 17, 2013 Posted August 17, 2013 This puts me in mind of a Breaking Bad-style show about Ted Bundy. Evil always starts from such innocent beginnings... 1
Star Gazer Posted August 17, 2013 Posted August 17, 2013 Bad idea. Women join MeetUp groups for the activities, not to be hit on by predators.
CptSaveAho Posted August 17, 2013 Posted August 17, 2013 Bad idea. Women join MeetUp groups for the activities, not to be hit on by predators. BS... they join meetup for the same reason as OP, they just rationalize it like you do so in case something bad happens, they get to save face 1
irc333 Posted August 17, 2013 Posted August 17, 2013 Bad idea. Women join MeetUp groups for the activities, not to be hit on by predators. Must be a different planet where you live. I see people getting together all the time some of the women even married these so-called "predators" as you refer to it. Though it IS best to flirt with the friends of the regulars (the +1's) that come along with them. LOL
CptSaveAho Posted August 17, 2013 Posted August 17, 2013 Must be a different planet where you live. Someone figured it out....ill buy you a beer
Star Gazer Posted August 17, 2013 Posted August 17, 2013 Must be a different planet where you live. I see people getting together all the time some of the women even married these so-called "predators" as you refer to it. This doesn't sound predatory to you? I'm going to do some scouting tomorrow, but I found a meetup group near me JUST for women in their 20s, and you can see what other groups a person is in so you can easily pick a "target" to message that you have something in common with, so essentially the women only group compiles what I'm looking for. He's going to go stalk a women's only MeetUp group to find "targets"... and that doesn't sound creepy and predatory? What does? Bajeezus.
TB Rhine Posted August 17, 2013 Posted August 17, 2013 There's some truth to that - predator, creeper, whatever too often means "guy who shows interest that she's not attracted to." I still think this is a bad idea, however. The social media landscape is stratifying to a certain extent. People go on Meetup to plan group activities, not find people to socialize with one-on-one. Just as they go on Facebook to keep in touch with family members, coworkers past and present, and people they already know, rather than to meet new folks. (Hell, for a while there Facebook wouldn't even let you message someone if you weren't connected through at least one mutual acquaintance). At best, I don't think you'll have any better luck than you would simply talking to girls on OkCupid or what have you. At worst, the women you're talking to will be put off by your 'unconventional' usage of the Meetup platform.
Author ls32ssibm Posted August 17, 2013 Author Posted August 17, 2013 This doesn't sound predatory to you? He's going to go stalk a women's only MeetUp group to find "targets"... and that doesn't sound creepy and predatory? What does? Bajeezus. Yeah yeah, we get it...you have a chip on your shoulder and don't like men. Well as the great Dennis Reynolds would say; "well, you certainly wouldn't be in any danger" 3
TB Rhine Posted August 17, 2013 Posted August 17, 2013 these women overuse the word predator so much. they should read about the boy who cried wolf. Using passive-aggressively threatening language isn't going to help.
Star Gazer Posted August 17, 2013 Posted August 17, 2013 Yeah yeah, we get it...you have a chip on your shoulder and don't like men. Ha!! You don't know me at all, and clearly haven't followed my posting history. I love men.
CptSaveAho Posted August 17, 2013 Posted August 17, 2013 Ha!! You don't know me at all, and clearly haven't followed my posting history. I love men. no you dont,,, most people on the forum have figured it out 1
Star Gazer Posted August 17, 2013 Posted August 17, 2013 no you dont,,, most people on the forum have figured it out Riiiiiiight.
Star Gazer Posted August 17, 2013 Posted August 17, 2013 love men yet call them 'predators'. I didn't call an entire gender predators. I called the OP's behavior predatory. Nice try, slick.
TB Rhine Posted August 17, 2013 Posted August 17, 2013 all guys must be predators unless they are excessively good looking and charming. This may get me accused of sexism, but I've long felt that women have a difficult time distinguishing between feeling uncomfortable, and feeling threatened. Several years ago, I worked with a guy named Kevin. He was nice, but he had a screw loose somewhere. He would walk around with a sort of dazed smile on his face, and sometimes he would come up to you and say things that just didn't make sense. Though I found him annoying and discomfiting, and would often try to avoid talking to him, I never felt afraid or threatened by him at all, and I think most of my male coworkers felt the same way. The women, on the other hand, were afraid of Kevin. They looked at him like he was Jack the Ripper, and if he was in the room they wouldn't be able to keep their eyes from darting in his direction. I don't know if it's just how girls are made, or if it's how they're socialized, or what, but I think there's something to this. Being propositioned in some way, shape or form by someone you're not interested in is an uncomfortable situation. I've been in that situation before, and it made ME uncomfortable, because I didn't really know how to deal with it, I was conflicted about how to feel RIGHT dealing with it, and I pretty much knew there was no way to deal with it that wouldn't end up with me feeling uncomfortable, or hypocritical, or guilty, or something equally unpleasant. Because women are warned (rightly, for the most part) throughout their lives to trust their instincts, and not to ignore it if a man makes them feel uncomfortable... well, this guy is making them feel uncomfortable, and their lizard brains have a hard time differentiating between 'pushy coworker who tries to talk to me about Jesus' uncomfortable and 'guy who looks at me like he wants to take me home and have me for dinner' uncomfortable. If those instincts end up saving their lives one day, I suppose we can't fault them too much.
Gottabestrong Posted August 17, 2013 Posted August 17, 2013 Point is, you can easily pin points interests (IE, reading, hiking, etc.), look through the member list, and message any person that appeals to you. I'm going to do some scouting tomorrow, but I found a meetup group near me JUST for women in their 20s, and you can see what other groups a person is in so you can easily pick a "target" to message that you have something in common with, so essentially the women only group compiles what I'm looking for. I personally HATE that. I get messages from guys I don't even know all the time, asking me to hang out. I am not in an all-women group in order to meet men! It really pisses me off. It's different when you are a member of the same group and go to events and meet people there. In the past I've been to events of hiking groups, bookclubs, etc. and hit it off with people who were there. When they then send me a message a day later saying they had a good time and would like to hang out some time if I am free and interested, that is cool. But don't cold-message women you don't even know just based on their picture! I think it is icky. Meetup is not a dating site!
PlumPrincess Posted August 17, 2013 Posted August 17, 2013 I'm going to do some scouting tomorrow, but I found a meetup group near me JUST for women in their 20s, and you can see what other groups a person is in so you can easily pick a "target" to message that you have something in common with, so essentially the women only group compiles what I'm looking for. Well, hopefully, you are also in your 20s, because I find nothing more off-putting than those older guys who seek out younger women like a predator his prey.
PlumPrincess Posted August 17, 2013 Posted August 17, 2013 BS... they join meetup for the same reason as OP, they just rationalize it like you do so in case something bad happens, they get to save face I am single and I'm also on one of these Meetup websites. I'd like to meet someone through an activity, but my focus here is on meeting people and making friends. If I was only looking for a date, I would stay on the dating sites, but frankly, the guys who are so set up on a relationship are really not my type. If you are a guy and single, do not sign up on these site as a means to meet women (more women - fine. Only women - not cool).
ChessPieceFace Posted August 17, 2013 Posted August 17, 2013 Ha!! You don't know me at all, and clearly haven't followed my posting history. I love men. Yeah you "love men" which is why you call them pigs in your sig line. 2
irc333 Posted August 17, 2013 Posted August 17, 2013 It's a poor choice of words some women use when describing a man that's interested in them. But jokingly they use the word even if they DO think the guy is cute. Some women jokingly refer to certain men stalking them, I've over heard conversations where she's giggling and says, "Yeah, I think I have a stalker, he keeps stopping by the 22 flavors ice cream parlor just to say hi to me. Or they always see some guy at the gym staring at them, but hasn't approached yet, and the whisper to their other friend on the treadmill (he's always looking at me when he's here....I think he may be stalking me *giggle*) Of course, a lot of women are known for playing the "victim" card, too. There's some truth to that - predator, creeper, whatever too often means "guy who shows interest that she's not attracted to." I still think this is a bad idea, however. The social media landscape is stratifying to a certain extent. People go on Meetup to plan group activities, not find people to socialize with one-on-one. Just as they go on Facebook to keep in touch with family members, coworkers past and present, and people they already know, rather than to meet new folks. (Hell, for a while there Facebook wouldn't even let you message someone if you weren't connected through at least one mutual acquaintance). At best, I don't think you'll have any better luck than you would simply talking to girls on OkCupid or what have you. At worst, the women you're talking to will be put off by your 'unconventional' usage of the Meetup platform.
irc333 Posted August 17, 2013 Posted August 17, 2013 I am single and I'm also on one of these Meetup websites. I'd like to meet someone through an activity, but my focus here is on meeting people and making friends. If I was only looking for a date, I would stay on the dating sites, but frankly, the guys who are so set up on a relationship are really not my type. If you are a guy and single, do not sign up on these site as a means to meet women (more women - fine. Only women - not cool). Yeah, I mean, people go to these Meetups are 99% single anyhow, with a a couple of token married people that hang with us if they have nothing else better to do. I'm a part of these hiking/kayaking groups. I have a good female friend that apparently isn't really into the men that try to ask her out from that group, but also....she doesn't like the idea of that some men have "dated around" with the women in that group. For example, Bill has dated Tricia, Anne, and Shiela....at one time ALL that are in the same group...she doesn't want to be going out with Bill after she has known these women and of course won't date a guy KNOWING he's been with those 3 women. So there is THAT to consider. LOL Believe it or not, some women join some of these groups for the soul purpose of meeting single men....I know this, because they only attend NON-outdoor related events in the outdoor group and usually it's like a BIG 4th of July or Halloween party. Happens with other groups too, I am guessing they are going because there's larger numbers going instead of the usual 20 for a hike...but a Halloween party of 50 to 60 people that RSVP'ed. Some are so shallow as to join Meetups, but if they don't like who they see...physically....on the RSVP sign up sheet, they'll never go to an event. They figure "Oh hey that guy/girl is cute...I'll go to that event!" One admitted that she stopped going to Meetups because there weren't any "cute guys" at the events...so I'm seeing her on POF now. LOL I've made some pretty good friends in Meetup and believe you me there is always this ONE guy you can tell is seemingly creepy in nature.....making disturbing remarks, had a bad case of halatosis (sp?), and would alwasy be in their personal space. Ironically, I'm starting to see people from Meetup pop up on dating sites all over. THere's this one from our outdoor group that I hardly see at events anymore, tried talking to her on a hike...she was rather stand offish with most men in the group.....even in an after hike event....we all gathered at a table at a local restaurant....and she got up and moved to the other end of the table next to a woman friend.....apparently some guy that wasn't talking directly to her, but just to whoever was listening, said he was some kind of "know it all". I think she was socially awkward so may prefer the cyberworld instead. Or you could join a Meetup that's actually geared towards singles, right? I see it all the time, "The New York Singles Meetup group" Also, if you see any thing that says, "Social Club Meetup"...well..it's a singles group, too. lol Anything with the word "Social" in it replace that word with "single" lol 1
GravityMan Posted August 17, 2013 Posted August 17, 2013 It is true that Meetup has proven helpful to some single men and women in finding people to date and have a relationship with. However, keep in mind that many members of a Meetup group prefer not to date someone else within the same group, despite being single and available. What if things went very wrong? That could result in awkwardness and tension within the group. OK, they want to date...but they also like the meetup group and want to stick with it for awhile longer b/c they have other friends in the group and it probably focuses on activities that cater to his or her interests or passions. This is especially true for the "regulars". On a side note, this is also why some people prefer not to date someone who's in the same classroom, or someone in their inner social circle, or someone they work with (in addition to any company policies about dating & harassment). Meetup is for people to get out of the house and do activities they're interested in and share their interests with other people. You might click pretty well with a few of those people. It is particularly popular among people who are new in town. And lastly, a note about the meetup groups that are specifically for singles: many people in those groups prefer to remain single. They didn't join the group b/c they were looking to date.
henderson14 Posted August 17, 2013 Posted August 17, 2013 It seems like most meetup groups are a group or dorks and most people aren't that attractive. You will get average attractiveness at best.
SugarLips72 Posted August 17, 2013 Posted August 17, 2013 It depends which group. There is a singles group in my area that seems very active and has a lot of members. They are always planning events.
irc333 Posted August 17, 2013 Posted August 17, 2013 On a side note, this is also why some people prefer not to date someone who's in the same classroom Classroom? You mean at college? Most women I dated in college I had met in the classroom actually. But this list you give being "afraid" to date because of the same social circle...quite silly becuase, if you ask anyone how they met a good chance they'll tell you it was "through friends" within the social circle. You pretty much eliminate any options you have available to you. I would agree that the WORKPLACE is the only place I wouldn't recommend doing any dating, simply due to self preservation and a pay check to pay the bills. There is some kind of risk involved if things don't work out, but you're going to have to be able to deal with it in a mature manner if you are to keep seeing each other in the same class or hiking group. And usually the "Social circle", like I said, is probably the most common way people have dated.
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