Jason-LeeMarc Posted August 17, 2013 Posted August 17, 2013 Here is the story and I need opinions. I have a clear idea of what type of girl I want in my life that I can date and have a long term relationship. Met a Girl 8 Months ago, didn't think much of anything she was very closed up and very hostile. I didn't really know her much only a bit, we hangout we had amazing time each time. As time went by I started to get to know her and she started opening up slowly about her past and what her future plans are and I can easily say I'm in love with this girl, she's the exact thing I want. nothing more nothing less. It took her so long to open up with me didn't understand why but now I'm starting to. She's been single for a year. Her first ex was pretty much a dirt bag who hits girls, her second ex pretty much up and left without any reason. her parents are about to go through a separation.... She stated recently that I have so many good qualities not only as a boyfriend type but she went as far as saying even a husband. I basically put it out there and said why are we not dating if this is how we see each other. She said she's not ready for a relationship or dating, she also said She's not happy with where she is in life and I really want to but the feelings are messing, I don't have that feeling. I don't know what to do Not sure if this is her just trying to let me down easily or all these things that are happening to her is blocking her from having any emotional feelings ? help?
MrNate 2.0 Posted August 17, 2013 Posted August 17, 2013 Here is the story and I need opinions. I have a clear idea of what type of girl I want in my life that I can date and have a long term relationship. Met a Girl 8 Months ago, didn't think much of anything she was very closed up and very hostile. I didn't really know her much only a bit, we hangout we had amazing time each time. As time went by I started to get to know her and she started opening up slowly about her past and what her future plans are and I can easily say I'm in love with this girl, she's the exact thing I want. nothing more nothing less. It took her so long to open up with me didn't understand why but now I'm starting to. She's been single for a year. Her first ex was pretty much a dirt bag who hits girls, her second ex pretty much up and left without any reason. her parents are about to go through a separation.... She stated recently that I have so many good qualities not only as a boyfriend type but she went as far as saying even a husband. I basically put it out there and said why are we not dating if this is how we see each other. She said she's not ready for a relationship or dating, she also said She's not happy with where she is in life and I really want to but the feelings are messing, I don't have that feeling. I don't know what to do Not sure if this is her just trying to let me down easily or all these things that are happening to her is blocking her from having any emotional feelings ? help? Nah.. Nothing's blocking her from having any emotional feelings. She's just not attracted to you. Most people are usually quite open to relationships even if they say otherwise. The part they don't say is that provided the right person comes along. Check out the men she's been attracted to. You seem to not quite fit that mold. It's nothing on your end, so don't beat yourself up over it. Put your energy into finding a woman who will appreciate what you have to offer. 1
Author Jason-LeeMarc Posted August 17, 2013 Author Posted August 17, 2013 Yeah... recently found out more about them. One was a woman beater and the other seemed clueless about life lol. Nah.. Nothing's blocking her from having any emotional feelings. She's just not attracted to you. Most people are usually quite open to relationships even if they say otherwise. The part they don't say is that provided the right person comes along. Check out the men she's been attracted to. You seem to not quite fit that mold. It's nothing on your end, so don't beat yourself up over it. Put your energy into finding a woman who will appreciate what you have to offer.
rocksteady85 Posted August 17, 2013 Posted August 17, 2013 Man, just be patient, but do date other girls. There's a girl I'm good friends with, plain out rejected this guy. Not a "no, I'm not ready for a relationship," but a "No, I don't want to be your girlfriend." Few months later, she got interested in this guy, wanted to date him. But he assumed her advances were her just being friendly and joking. And now he's kicking himself in the ass because she lives 350 miles away now and he could have dated her if he was patient.
BradJacobs Posted August 17, 2013 Posted August 17, 2013 he could have dated her if he was patient. So he was supposed to avoid all other opportunities and sit on his laurels until she came around? OP, get out and meet other women who will be into you. She's not. She's told you just as much. Do not wait for this broad to change her mind. 1
rocksteady85 Posted August 17, 2013 Posted August 17, 2013 Absolutely not. He dated other women. But he blew off her advances and never attempted with her when she was clearly interested as single, even though he was still crazy about her. I'm simply saying that a "no" now isn't a "no" later. There's a chance she may want something down the road. But do NOT wait for her... do date other women, and if things don't work out them, maybe your girl will be ready when you're single again. I wouldn't write her off completely... just date other women (and if you get into a relationship, great!)
Author Jason-LeeMarc Posted August 17, 2013 Author Posted August 17, 2013 Yeah, I think I'm better of doing that. It's weird she shows interest but I dunno personaly I can't sit there and tell a girl how she's amazing and has so many good qualities yet tell her we can't date, doesn't make sense.
ITw Posted August 17, 2013 Posted August 17, 2013 (edited) If you love her like that, don't give up. Don't write her off just yet. You said she's been single for a year? After dating 2 scumbags like that, she probably needed time to recover. It sounds like she has alot of interest in you. It's probably nothing personal against you. Sounds like she's getting over a rough time. If she said you have good qualities of a boyfriend or husband, that's a good sign. Edited August 17, 2013 by ITw
Author Jason-LeeMarc Posted August 18, 2013 Author Posted August 18, 2013 I know she's been through a rough time, I also know its been a year since her breakup which she hid the story from me until recent when she opened up. She does tell me she needs to get on her feet and be happy with herself. She does say a lot of good things about me and does complement me a lot but it really makes me think when she said she didn't want to date me cuz she deosnt have feelings. Very confusing. If you love her like that, don't give up. Don't write her off just yet. You said she's been single for a year? After dating 2 scumbags like that, she probably needed time to recover. It sounds like she has alot of interest in you. It's probably nothing personal against you. Sounds like she's getting over a rough time. If she said you have good qualities of a boyfriend or husband, that's a good sign.
ITw Posted August 18, 2013 Posted August 18, 2013 I know she's been through a rough time, I also know its been a year since her breakup which she hid the story from me until recent when she opened up. She does tell me she needs to get on her feet and be happy with herself. She does say a lot of good things about me and does complement me a lot but it really makes me think when she said she didn't want to date me cuz she deosnt have feelings. Very confusing. Well sounds like her actions don't match her words. But you said it took her a long time to open up at all. I don't think she'd be that invested in you, saying those kinds of things or even opening up that much at all if she wasn't interested. Have you ever gone through something in life that temporarily takes up all your energy and attention? Maybe that's what happened to her. It sounds like she is interested even if she doesn't admit it yet. Just my opinion.
Author Jason-LeeMarc Posted August 18, 2013 Author Posted August 18, 2013 I've told her that before; Her words and actions don't match, I feel as if she wants to have something but then nothing a "pull back". I also have been through a phase where I just didn't want anything and stayed away from dating BUT never met anyone during so I wouldn't know how it would feel. After a break up with an ex that I was with for over 2 years (my first love) I took a break and decided to stay away from dating or getting into anything. I just focused on school and work and not until I was happy with where I was in Life (which took probably around 2-3 years to accomplish the goals I had set since the breakup). After that I felt that I was emotionally ready and financially stable to commit to another girl I started figuring out WHAT type of girl to have that's worth it. I've met other girls but quickly dismissed them because I didn't see the qualities that I wanted and it took me few weeks to figure it out if they fit my future. Year later I met her and in my eyes shes EXACTLY what I want, she has to many good qualities and just perfect. However, when I went through those rough "patches" in my life I didn't really meet any girls at the time, so I don't really know how it would have felt if I did. By the way, thank you. You been very helpful and I appreciate your continues opinion. Well sounds like her actions don't match her words. But you said it took her a long time to open up at all. I don't think she'd be that invested in you, saying those kinds of things or even opening up that much at all if she wasn't interested. Have you ever gone through something in life that temporarily takes up all your energy and attention? Maybe that's what happened to her. It sounds like she is interested even if she doesn't admit it yet. Just my opinion.
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