Coco2009 Posted August 17, 2013 Posted August 17, 2013 My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years. He has been everything I ever wanted in a guy. He is the nicest person, he always thinks of others before himself, he always makes me feel like a princess, he will do anything for me. We knew we were going to spend the rest of our lives together, I just wanted to finish school first. Everyone tells me how lucky I am to have such a great guy like him and I agree. I always gave him all my trust. Last weekend he went on a trip with my family (sister and cousin) and their boyfriends ( along with my sisters boyfriend sisters) but I had to stay behind due to hwk and studying. When he got back from the trip he confessed that he got head from my sisters boyfriend sister. He said that they were both really drunk and she kept being pushy and he said no at first but then he gave in. My sister caught them in the action. I am heartbroken and confused. He says he is sorry and he was an idiot to do something so stupid like that. I just told him I needed some time to think. I don't know what to do. Should I stay with him and add many restrictions to the relationship(that he is willing to follow) or should I just let him go. I know he probably won't do it again but I don't know if I can ever see him the same again. I love him so much. I am very confused and need advice.
along60years Posted August 17, 2013 Posted August 17, 2013 You need to tell him, plainly, that his actions drunk or not are UNACCEPTABLE if that is how you feel. Alcohol is never an excuse for disrespecting your partner and he is responsible for himself no matter how pushy anyone is. He was not raped or forced in any way. Personally, I think he is an ******* and I am sick of the drunk, irresponsible, disrespectful, jackasses who make committed, loving partners' lives hell. I am very sorry you are having to go through this. Without trust there is no relationship. Do you feel you can still trust him? Be stoic and strong. Don't scream and yell, make rules and start fights. Tell him clearly and calmly how you feel and what you will and will not tolerate and walk away. He has to decide if he wants to be the partner you are asking him to be and prove that he deserves to be there, which he will do if he is sincere. We teach people how to treat us by not tolerating less, even if that means we have to walk away.
along60years Posted August 17, 2013 Posted August 17, 2013 Just a note, he doesn't get a gold star for confessing. He got caught. He knew you were going to find out and so he tried to spin it in his favor. It was not out of respect for you.
Mariposa10 Posted August 17, 2013 Posted August 17, 2013 Just a note, he doesn't get a gold star for confessing. He got caught. He knew you were going to find out and so he tried to spin it in his favor. It was not out of respect for you. yeah, this is what caught my attention, he was caught...
Misfortune Posted August 17, 2013 Posted August 17, 2013 My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years. He has been everything I ever wanted in a guy. He is the nicest person, he always thinks of others before himself, he always makes me feel like a princess, he will do anything for me. We knew we were going to spend the rest of our lives together, I just wanted to finish school first. Everyone tells me how lucky I am to have such a great guy like him and I agree. I always gave him all my trust. Last weekend he went on a trip with my family (sister and cousin) and their boyfriends ( along with my sisters boyfriend sisters) but I had to stay behind due to hwk and studying. When he got back from the trip he confessed that he got head from my sisters boyfriend sister. He said that they were both really drunk and she kept being pushy and he said no at first but then he gave in. My sister caught them in the action. I am heartbroken and confused. He says he is sorry and he was an idiot to do something so stupid like that. I just told him I needed some time to think. I don't know what to do. Should I stay with him and add many restrictions to the relationship(that he is willing to follow) or should I just let him go. I know he probably won't do it again but I don't know if I can ever see him the same again. I love him so much. I am very confused and need advice. He got caught and got to you before anyone else so he could look good. All these drunk excuses are so lame. They're always too drunk to not do the deed but sober up real fast when they're caught. Suddenly they everything that's going on around them and what not. It's BS and people need to using it as a crutch.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted August 18, 2013 Posted August 18, 2013 Just a note, he doesn't get a gold star for confessing. He got caught. He knew you were going to find out That is the only reason for confessing in such a scenario. Were it unlikely that she would find out, then such a confession is only a means through which to intentionally hurt one's partner.
Myab23 Posted August 18, 2013 Posted August 18, 2013 Hi....listen. Seriously I feel for you. But it really depends on your personality if you can get over this. Look in yourself. If this is going to be something that is always going to interfere-end it. My ex cheated on me and it always entered my mind and ruined everything. I wished I could get passed it and I couldn't. My honest opinion is that it will never work now. If he can do this... he's just not worth it. Its sad but so true. Don't waste your time.
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