Vinsanity1307 Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 Ok This is going to sound like the most screwed up story but here goes. I am a 27 year old guy who was in a "relationship" with a 35 year old women with three kids and divorced twice (Claimed they both cheated). We started dating in 2008. Everything was good in the beginning, the sex was amazing (although nothing compared to the future with her sexually) and we got along. Then as time went on I learned she was still married (separated for about 1 year) and had not even filed for divorce yet. She told me she didnt have the money and whatnot. Anyways I ended meeting the kids 2 months into the relationship and they loved me twins that were 4 at the time and a 14 year old boy. As time went on I would bend over backwards for this girl from bringing the kids to school , getting them ready, or to just taking them out to chuck e cheese. As time went on she was still in contact with a guy she slept with before dating me, and they were talking sexually through facebook. Then her recent ex husband was saying sexual stuff as well to her through text messages. From there it only got worse (Although I couldnt prove anything i saw the messages on facebook of them just talking about it, as well as another guy I had no idea about but couldn't prove it. This girl had alot of health issues that I would stay by her side for operations and whatnot until recovery. So after about a year I was in love with her regardless of all the issues and we got engaged. I was doing everything and anything for her. About 6 months later she dumped me after me bringing up her still talking with these guys. I begged tried buying her things but nothing worked I was heart broken. I tried talking to her about what I did and she ended up running over my foot and as she drove away saying don't bother her anymore... She threw me down stairs if I tried hugging her and I ended up hitting my head and she just leaves.... I eventually left her alone and about 10 days later of no contact she texted me. Just saying ok...... We end up talking in person then having sex and getting back together. As time went on she still was sketchy and*mean*towards me so I told her I didnt want to commit to her anymore after about 2 months. She was devastated. We continued to date but nothing official and I was going on dating websites which destroyed her and she would beg and plead for me to stop and be her bf. I stopped going on the sites as we continued to "date" unless we had a big fight. I would go back on the dating website to piss her off. Then suspend it once everything was settled...For the next 2.5 years she turned into a wonderful person doing anything and everything for me. Even quit smoking for me after smoking for 15 years. I had the I dont care attitude but showed her the love here and there. Also during this 2.5 years she lost her job and was having issues keeping a car,and even a cell phone. She was going to school to be an EMT after losing her job in late 2010. About 2 months ago i decided enough was enough and would consider making a real go at the relationship seriously. She just recently got her **** together and is an EMT , has a car,and her own cell line that I bought for her.... I was nicer but not needy still had that i dont care attitude but ALOT nicer. We did beyond things you could imagine sexually(and things she was petrified to do in the beginning.)She would beg for sex from me or pleasure me whenever. It was great... We were even getting along really well .We went to Maine together and she was all over me as I was her. She had to leave maine cause she just started a new job and could only get 2 days off. But she drove to and from maine 4 times just to see me.... So when I came back about a day later she wrote me an email saying she no longer wanted kids and ( which is something I wanted and something she promised she would give me for 5 years) she was too afraid of my response cause she thought I would leave her is what the email said. I was upset but told her having her in my life was more important. This was a once and a lifetime chemistry which it really was....She didn't believe so I showed her the engagement ring I bought her to show I was ready to commit and be with her forever. About 2 days later she texts me and dumps me out of the blue . She said she is not in love with me and we hurt each other too much... I begged and pleaded but she just started being mean.I showed up at her house and she flipped out and saw she was even smoking again. She threatened to call the police if I didnt leave. After a while I left. Said Id rather die then go through pain without her she said go ahead and kill yourself then. I wrote her one last text and nothing. It has been a week and a half with no contact and I really want her back. I ended up breaking no contact 3 weeks ago and I showed up at her house again and tried talking...I quickly looked through her phone and saw she was texting a guy she use to screw right before dating me who is about 40 and he sleeps around ..I am not being conceited but I am a fit 27 year old who works out have muscles w/e..I don't understand going from me to back to him especially after her being all over me in Maine...regardless....i acted cool and said I guess that's the nail in the coffin for me.... I told her I loved her and left....Its been almost been 5 weeks since D day and 21 days of no contact I really want her back and have no idea what to do...I am having anxiety issues (chest apain and shaking) constantly, and cant seem to be shaking these feelings what do you think I should do...And of this situation..what happened??? Please help....
pteromom Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 Wow. That's quite a story. You guys do not sound good for each other. Firstly, she admitted she cheated in her marriage, so it shouldn't be a surprise to you that she texts guys. She needs the male validation. And all the game playing - the acting mean, and backing off, and deciding to be nicer. This isn't a mature relationship. It's a game. You are missing the sex and the chemistry you guys had, but she isn't a logical choice for a relationship. She's flighty, and you want kids. I would move on. I realize it will be difficult emotionally, but it's for the best in the long run. Oh and - use paragraph breaks. That was really difficult to read.
Author Vinsanity1307 Posted August 16, 2013 Author Posted August 16, 2013 Thanks for your reply man...just having a tough time dealing...
lovesucks76 Posted August 17, 2013 Posted August 17, 2013 Sorry man. I feel your pain! You need to stay busy and try to move on. The hard truth is: She obviously doesn't appreciate you as much as you appreciate her. It hurts like hell to hear this, I know from experience. It sucks to be honest and the best thing is not to hope for reconciliation and just move on. Would you ever be able to trust her again? Be honest??would you??Is it worth to be wondering every time she's late whether she's with someone else? Listen, regardless what the movies tell us love is NOT everything. Trust and respect are necessary and just as important components for a healthy relationship. Be happy it happened now and not 10 years from now. Best of luck!!
Author Vinsanity1307 Posted August 17, 2013 Author Posted August 17, 2013 Thanks for your opinion I appreciate it
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