JDPT Posted August 19, 2013 Posted August 19, 2013 You don't need answers, one question will lead to the other and you will never hear what you want to hear. You don't need to understand what occurred during or after the relationship, can't rationalize the irrational. I quiet honestly believe you are prolonging the inevitable. I can only suggest to think about you and no longer postpone your healing process as it will be a very long one.
seekingpeaceinlove Posted August 19, 2013 Posted August 19, 2013 Lovesucks - it's only been a week since breaking up..but if feels like months. We fought a lot and it just came down to not being able to communicate effectively with each other. He would hold on to things that would bother him and it built resentment over time. He would never admit the issues in him that he needed to fix and it was only me trying the change for us. Unless he has an epiphany or something drastic occurs in his life to change his perception on relationships and realizing that he needs to change too..we will never work. His ego wont sllow us to work. So, I'm struggling..but am moving on. Kayjay - I was with ex for 1.5 years.. It was the first relationship that made me want to give all of myself and try hard. I really loved him and I'm beginning to realize that maybe ex wasn't capable of giving me the same type of love. Though I know whey we broke up and that we weren't working... I still love him and it'll take sometime for it to fade. I'm struggling with false hope, replaying the relationship and blaming myself, blaming him. I guess this is all just part of the healing process but its torture.
Author kayjay85 Posted August 19, 2013 Author Posted August 19, 2013 i know what i have to do. And yes if i got an answer to a question then id want another then another. Maybe ill get the answers from myself if i just give myself time to think.
lovesucks76 Posted August 19, 2013 Posted August 19, 2013 He would never admit the issues in him that he needed to fix and it was only me trying the change for us. Unless he has an epiphany or something drastic occurs in his life to change his perception on relationships and realizing that he needs to change too..we will never work. The above quote should set you free! You already know the answers. We usually know the answers but we don't like to face it because it hurts. It hurts our heart and our ego. You love him so you're willing to work on it. He isn't or maybe he can't! He is who he is...you may love him but maybe you're not good together. You will find the one who loves and truly cares about you just as much as you love and care about them. This guy is just not him. PS: Someone once told me " True love is mutual and selfless". 2
templeofmax Posted August 19, 2013 Posted August 19, 2013 Personally, I wouldn't, only because it could set you back. It could get your hopes up when it really was nothing at all. If you are serious about getting your life back on track, then the ONLY way to do it is to go completely NC. I would consider communicating when you know 100% sure that you are over him. That you can talk to him without worrying what it means, what will happen, does he miss me, ect. We have to protect ourselves. But I have to admit, I know I would be all over it if my ex contacted me. I am still at the stage of starring at my phone, checking my emails and waiting, watching for him to reach out to me. I don't need him to tell me he wants me back. I just want him to ask how I am. So I know I am on his mind. I would do anything to hear from him. Even if its not to get back with me. Just to know I am on him mind..... Same here. If true love existed, they would at least ask us how we are. I deactivated my FB 3 months ago and haven't contacted her for 2 months. No 'are you still alive'? Nothing. 2.5 years of neediness on her part, but not love. 1
seekingpeaceinlove Posted August 19, 2013 Posted August 19, 2013 The truth hurts. I've known the truth for a while but was in denial for a long time...blinded by love. I ignored all the red flags and fell deeper into the relationship with him, hoping he'd change or I could adjust to him because I loved him. I've learned so much about myself and what I need and want from being with him..I'll focus on that and have faith that I will find the right one some day. Thank you all..I'm feeling better today. Hope you all are too. 2
Author kayjay85 Posted August 19, 2013 Author Posted August 19, 2013 My friend sent me a quote Until you get comfortable with being alone, youll never know if your choosing someone out of love or loneliness. I am going to follow that i wont be rushing into anything untill iknow im fine x 4
Author kayjay85 Posted August 21, 2013 Author Posted August 21, 2013 I have to say its getting easier. I am stil missing him but im sleeping eating and seeing friend. I really did think my life was over without him. Im not saying im supper happy but im getting there slowly. I didnt think i would feel like this so soon but the NC is doing good x How have you been KIMMIE x
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