mtnbiker3000 Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 I feel like I am mostly over my ex at this point. Don't feel sad anymore. Don't want her back. Don't want anything to do with her. But, I just don't feel happy either. I'm kind of just existing. Work, home, gym, go out with friends or by myself, repeat. Like a zombie. At first I was excited to not feel like s*it anymore, but now I realize I really don't know what to do now. I've spent so much time and energy getting to this point, now that I'm here, I'm confused as to what is next. Have dated a bit in the last couple months and even had some physical contact a couple of times, which was nice. But, I just don't feel excited about anything. I am extremely apprehensive about relationships in general and I am unsure about the whole prospect of getting into another at this point. I just feel… blah!! I'm stuck in a rut. Bored and lonely, but afraid of relationships and no energy/desire to pursue one anyway…
templeofmax Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 How long was your relationship? How long since it ended?
Misfortune Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 I feel like I am mostly over my ex at this point. Don't feel sad anymore. Don't want her back. Don't want anything to do with her. But, I just don't feel happy either. I'm kind of just existing. Work, home, gym, go out with friends or by myself, repeat. Like a zombie. At first I was excited to not feel like s*it anymore, but now I realize I really don't know what to do now. I've spent so much time and energy getting to this point, now that I'm here, I'm confused as to what is next. Have dated a bit in the last couple months and even had some physical contact a couple of times, which was nice. But, I just don't feel excited about anything. I am extremely apprehensive about relationships in general and I am unsure about the whole prospect of getting into another at this point. I just feel… blah!! I'm stuck in a rut. Bored and lonely, but afraid of relationships and no energy/desire to pursue one anyway… Indifference. All that's left is to pick a side and go for it.
Author mtnbiker3000 Posted August 16, 2013 Author Posted August 16, 2013 How long was your relationship? How long since it ended? 3 year RS 1.5 year engagement 6 month BU 5 month NC
templeofmax Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 I guess that is part of the healing process. You already went through the bad part and now you are over er, but it may take a bit more for you to start feeing happy again I guess. I am 4 months post BU, but I still want to get her back after a 2.5 year relationship. So I don't know how you got over her so fast. Was the feeling mutual to BU?
Author mtnbiker3000 Posted August 16, 2013 Author Posted August 16, 2013 So I don't know how you got over her so fast. Was the feeling mutual to BU? Fast? Seems like an eternity But, I stuck to hard core NC after the first month of the BU. Have been doing a lot of work as well. Physically and mentally. Reading, counseling, and posting here on LS Mutual? Not really, but we were both unhappy for different reasons. But she ended it whereas I would have tried to save it. I was more into it than her for sure.
forgetmenot75 Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 mountain biker: Try with vitamins. I think you might be slightly depressed. Omega 3, and vitamin B12. We all have some times where we feel sad, you might need to worry if this periods last more than 2 weeks in a row. At this point it has nothing to do with your ex.
Author mtnbiker3000 Posted August 16, 2013 Author Posted August 16, 2013 mountain biker: Try with vitamins. I think you might be slightly depressed. Omega 3, and vitamin B12. Meh, I don't think it is depression... We all have some times where we feel sad, you might need to worry if this periods last more than 2 weeks in a row. At this point it has nothing to do with your ex. That's what I'm saying... I am NOT sad anymore.... Not sure what I am feeling. Just feel stuck in a rut
templeofmax Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 Fast? Seems like an eternity But, I stuck to hard core NC after the first month of the BU. Have been doing a lot of work as well. Physically and mentally. Reading, counseling, and posting here on LS Mutual? Not really, but we were both unhappy for different reasons. But she ended it whereas I would have tried to save it. I was more into it than her for sure. Yeah, same here. I would have fought, but she is just not the fighting type. I haven't given up on her, but for now NC is the way to go. I know she is not over me and she needs to find herself, so its not like she will run to somebody else's arms. But I know how you feel. Even though I still have hope and are anxious even 4 months post BU, its like you just go about your life, but then it becomes a routine and our significant other was the one who took us outside of our routine. And of course meeting other girls starts a game of comparison. Like being stuck, like you describe. There is a website called Find Meetup groups near you - Meetup where you can find activities with groups of people with your same interests. Maybe you can find something there where you can start doing something different and meeting other people.
Author mtnbiker3000 Posted August 16, 2013 Author Posted August 16, 2013 There is a website called Find Meetup groups near you - Meetup where you can find activities with groups of people with your same interests. Been there. Done that. Honestly, it sucks in my area... Tried the one group for a while and found it 'clicky' and just plain weird Good news is I plan on moving pretty soon. Tired of this piece of crap town!!!
templeofmax Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 Been there. Done that. Honestly, it sucks in my area... Tried the one group for a while and found it 'clicky' and just plain weird Good news is I plan on moving pretty soon. Tired of this piece of crap town!!! What town is that?
theonlyjuan Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 Relationships are sometimes too comfortable and convenient. It's hard to break out of the pattern. You just sound like you miss being in a relationship but are scared of another. I haven't had the slightest thrill or interest in any girl I have met since. I sometimes miss the relationship because it filled a lot of time, I only feel like that when I am tired/bored/sad. It was so convenient too which I think was part of the problem, it got boring at times too. I don't know what your doing at the gym but over training can make you feel crap about everything. I'm at my worst when I over train, luckily the sad feeling passes when I have rested. You can't force feeling good about a relationship. Faking it would be unfair to the other person, you will feel it again though. You just have to find things you enjoy
Author mtnbiker3000 Posted August 16, 2013 Author Posted August 16, 2013 What town is that? It's in Shasta County... Northern Cali =(
Author mtnbiker3000 Posted August 16, 2013 Author Posted August 16, 2013 Relationships are sometimes too comfortable and convenient. It's hard to break out of the pattern. You just sound like you miss being in a relationship but are scared of another. Yes. I don't won't to get hurt again... I haven't had the slightest thrill or interest in any girl I have met since. I sometimes miss the relationship because it filled a lot of time, I only feel like that when I am tired/bored/sad. It was so convenient too which I think was part of the problem, it got boring at times too. Yeah, we did everything together all of the time. Especially when we moved. We were all each other had... I don't know what your doing at the gym but over training can make you feel crap about everything. I'm at my worst when I over train, luckily the sad feeling passes when I have rested. Nah, I only work out about 30 to 45 minutes 3 or 4 times a week... You can't force feeling good about a relationship. Faking it would be unfair to the other person, you will feel it again though. You just have to find things you enjoy Yeah, it's just boring... Think the age I am at most people already have their own crap going on and it's difficult to find bro's to hang with...
templeofmax Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 It's in Shasta County... Northern Cali =( Yeap, even the name sounds boring. Maybe moving away is what you need to restart your life.
alexdublin Posted August 17, 2013 Posted August 17, 2013 (edited) i know it may not apply to you, but for me having an awesome holiday with a really great friend helped me turn my life from just blah into a somewhat enjoyable existence again Edited August 17, 2013 by alexdublin
flitzanu Posted August 17, 2013 Posted August 17, 2013 I feel like I am mostly over my ex at this point. Don't feel sad anymore. Don't want her back. Don't want anything to do with her. But, I just don't feel happy either. I'm kind of just existing. Work, home, gym, go out with friends or by myself, repeat. Like a zombie. At first I was excited to not feel like s*it anymore, but now I realize I really don't know what to do now. I've spent so much time and energy getting to this point, now that I'm here, I'm confused as to what is next. Have dated a bit in the last couple months and even had some physical contact a couple of times, which was nice. But, I just don't feel excited about anything. I am extremely apprehensive about relationships in general and I am unsure about the whole prospect of getting into another at this point. I just feel… blah!! I'm stuck in a rut. Bored and lonely, but afraid of relationships and no energy/desire to pursue one anyway… welcome to apathy and cynicism i do firmly believe that all of us that have visited loveshack and learned "the truth" see things entirely different than those that have not. it's made me incredibly apprehensive because i know all the "signs" of failure.
along60years Posted August 17, 2013 Posted August 17, 2013 It sounds like you are just emotionally worn down. Getting over a long term relationship takes a lot out of people. I know how you feel, it's a little like acting. Just going through the motions wondering when things will change. It is going to take more time, while you may be over her, your heart has not fully healed yet. You are still adjusting to your new life, probably not quite comfortable or used to it yet. It takes practice, just have to keep going forward. It isn't a plateau, just not as steep of a slope to climb. 3
Recommended Posts