loco Posted November 7, 2004 Posted November 7, 2004 Hi ppl, you may remember me from a while ago my gf was having second thoughts about me because of her mums religion not allowing us being together, well we got through that and now its our third year being together. Now i got an even bigger problem, since she has only gone out with me and no one else, she told me tonight over the phone that she cant trust herself, what she means is she wonders what its like to be with someone else and she says she started to love me like her mum or brother instead of her boyfriend. she said we need a break, she wants me to go out with my friends and meet other girls. I cant imagine myself with anyone else. I really really love her and i want to end up with her, how do i.. 1) get her to be 100% sure about me, she was half a year ago. 2) get her to somehow stop wondering bout other guys, she allready tried to do it with one guy i did everything right, saw her regularly did lots of different things, i surprise her with gifts now and then without notice, i just dont want to lose her she means the world to me, what do i do?
JoL Posted November 7, 2004 Posted November 7, 2004 Im sorry to be the bearer of bad news here, but you cant change how she feels. That is something she cant even change. Sometimes feelings change and there isnt anything we can do about them. She is being honest with you, which at least means you know how she feels. I know it's very hard to imagine yourself with others, but perhaps you need time on your own to sort through this confusion for yourself. Sometimes people fall out love, it sucks, but it happens.
Merin Posted November 7, 2004 Posted November 7, 2004 JoL and Blue are right.. You can't change her heart.. I know that hurts a lot and it's a hard place to be. It seems you've done all you can to make her happy and be a good boyfriend.. and as hard as it is to accept this really has less to do with you and more to do with her.. she's curious to know what else is out there. Sometimes it is letting go of someone that eventually brings them back to you if that is where they really want to be in the end of things.. Best wishes
Sukotto Posted November 7, 2004 Posted November 7, 2004 Once the doubts there you can't do anything about it, you could waste your time and effort trying to convince her otherwise but whats to make her think about it again in 6 months time? I dont honestly know how people can know that there meany to be with someone for the rest of their life when its their first relationship, what do you have for comparison. What you see in the movies or novels? I think that some time apart is whats best, let her try to date other people. I wont lie and say this will be easy. It will be extremely difficult to do, you'll be thinking about who she's out with and whats she doing, but you shouldn't let that get you down. You should be out doing the exact same. After a few months and many dates you'll definately know if she's the one for you and I suspect she'll be the same. Try to hang out with her and be her friend during this time if you can. That way the door is always open for you guys to get back together.
Author loco Posted November 7, 2004 Author Posted November 7, 2004 hi folks, i just saw her this mornin i asked her if she still wanted to see me, well, she still wants to see me as a friend. she says she wants time to think, that a break is what she needs, she feels like ive become more of a best friend than a lover she says ive got a hot body and everything she just feels bad when we do it, like im too good to do that to. u guys are right about the break, i cant really do anything now, shes the one thats gotta sort her head out. but she really gets turned on and loves it when its a situation that is hard to get, maybe i should be hard to get for her because until now ive always been doing everything for her putting what she wants first, maybe shes bored of it huh? anyway i feel sad no matter what i do, i just pray she comes back to me, my friends say i treated her so well that it would be hard for her to find someone who cares about her like me. at the same time i dont get it, i treat her well and this happens and then i got this lazy friend who uses his gf almost like a slave and she has no problem with him. im gonna try be her friend because she still wants to spend time with me and seein her will fill that big empty hole that just opened up by the way for a couple that are real close and this happens what would be the chance that she just wants to play around and then come back to me?
DJ_Dork Posted November 8, 2004 Posted November 8, 2004 I've had this happen except the biatch didn't say "i want a break" she just stopped calling and would avoid going out with me. Dumb biatch. Anyways, when a girl wants a break she wants to sort out her life, possibly see someone else, whatever. What you shouldn't do is "be her friend", screw that man. There are lots of women out there who don't need a break from you to sort out "her life."
loudeeley Posted November 9, 2004 Posted November 9, 2004 if she can't trust herself how can she expect you to trust her? if she can't trust herself, are you expected to do all the trusting for the both of you? seems like she is giving you a clear indication that she won't/can't be faithful. it's up to you, but i'd be outta there in a flash. it's not worth the heartache. you need someone you CAN trust, or at least who will tell you that you can trust them.
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