Echo000 Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 Since we broke up, i have come to realize that my ENTIRE relationship with my ex was bullshi*. She always behaved/said things that she thought i wanted to see or here. She claimed she had grown up so much (what i hoped), she had changed from her earlier days of random hook ups and drinking way too much alcohol. She "wasnt about that" lifestyle anymore. She was unique. She was different. She was so...full of SH*T. Anyone on here look at their ex at this point with so much hurt and anger? So many pine over their ex...i have so much anger and disgust toward mine now. The desire is gone, and instead for the past two days all i can think about is hoping that karma gets her. I want her to feel pain so badly..its not healthy for me to hold such resentment and anger i know but i am just being honest. I want her to suffer, for all the garbage she did/has put me through. Any people relate to that? Giving your heart to someone who turned out to be a huge fake... 1
Sugarkane Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 Can completely relate. When I got dumped and found this site, my ex more or less had been faking our relationship for months. But apparently he thought that was my fault of coarse. For some reason it's never the dumpers.
lop98 Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 Yeah, dude was a fake, bulls'it 24/7... but the stage of anger passed me by some months ago, now I still think he's a fake and still feel upset but also feel a bit bad for him, what a drag faking it like that just for nothing, and after BU he jumped into another fake relationship and who knows what he's doing now, probably faking it too, as usual. I now feel a bit of anger towards myself, because the falseness was so obvious and I still thought 'no, he's just misunderstood'. I can't play the victim, it taught me nothing while I tried that.
yeimi24 Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 i saw him masturbating to gay porn i don't know if i should say anything, I don't care that he watches porn but this was just 4 guys pretty hard core, is that normal?
Hoaks Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 Since we broke up, i have come to realize that my ENTIRE relationship with my ex was bullshi*. She always behaved/said things that she thought i wanted to see or here. She claimed she had grown up so much (what i hoped), she had changed from her earlier days of random hook ups and drinking way too much alcohol. She "wasnt about that" lifestyle anymore. She was unique. She was different. She was so...full of SH*T. Anyone on here look at their ex at this point with so much hurt and anger? So many pine over their ex...i have so much anger and disgust toward mine now. The desire is gone, and instead for the past two days all i can think about is hoping that karma gets her. I want her to feel pain so badly..its not healthy for me to hold such resentment and anger i know but i am just being honest. I want her to suffer, for all the garbage she did/has put me through. Any people relate to that? Giving your heart to someone who turned out to be a huge fake... Exactly like my ex, complete fake. Only told me what i want to hear. She said she was over the party lifestyle, wanted to settle, loved me more than anything, could never ever look at another guy that way..blah blah blah. Total crap. What makes it worse is i called her out on all that and said you should live your life and then come see me. But no, she wanted it all then. I have anger towards her, but i am still at that stage that i want to hear from her . But i never will.
theonlyjuan Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 In a way you are lucky. This will totally put you off your ex and make you angry. I think the ones who still put their ex on a pedestal suffer the most. Surely this makes you feel like you can do better and not want to have anything to do with them? Once you get over the feeling that you've been lied to, I think you will be able to move on faster.
heartbroken1357 Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 hit the nail on the head, my ex GF was so nice and caring towards me and i thought she was a diamond, left me a week after a holiday we went on and got with my teammate of a football team, i'd say all three of my ex's were completely screwed up in the head and fake as hell
Still Searching Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 The most recent ex, yep, total fake. Initially I held on to what or who I thought she was, but quickly took her off the pedestal and now see things for what they truly were. Like others have said, she was a master of telling me what I wanted/needed to hear, but never actually took action to change things, not once. Actions speak louder than words. I guess I stayed in the relationship always hoping she'd change into the person I wanted/needed her to be, which is the wrong reason. I didn't like her for who she was at the present time, and so in a way, I'm responsible for my own misery. I'm at the anger stage, using it to motivate me and rebuild my self-esteem. I didn't deserve her crap, and have a lot to offer someone who is deserving. It's a blessing in disguise, her leaving, because now it's someone else's turn to babysit and deal with her BS. 1
destroyed4sho Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 yep..my ex was a total fake and still is. she said everyhig i wanted to.hear like she wanted to.marry me have kids grow od together. then she breaks up with me for idk what reason. she has a partner now and emailed me saying she still loves me and wants to see me. i said ok and we arranged a day. the day comes and she dissappears!! still beng fake bc she loves the attention. i fell for it again..but this is the last time. she has done the same thing 5 times now. i think when she met me she was at a low.point and just used me to get by. then she tossed me like i was nothing.
Misfortune Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 Idk if I can call them fake, I can only do that if I knew which persona is the real them.
Dazzee Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 I'm not sure if my ex was fake or not, I sure hope not. Ending a relationship can do bad things to a person, both the dumper and dumpee. For instance my ex has a lot of resent,net and hurt towards me because of things that happened in our relationship so she ended it. So when she ended it she turned into a completely different person, a horrible selfish person. The extreme opposite from what she formerly was and it killed me. I don't know if she was fake or just hurting and resenting, trying to push me awaye so much she reacted this way 1
mtnbiker3000 Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 Hmmm. I guess I'm not the only one My ex used me for months/years. Let me buy her rings, propose and move hundreds of miles for her. Why? Because I was safe, secure, comfortable, and familiar. Knowing the whole time we wouldn't be together for the long haul. Totally used and discarded. I was/am angry, but it has subsided for the most part. But, yeah, I do hope she gets some of her own medicine at some point. Damn Future Faker!!!
Author Echo000 Posted August 16, 2013 Author Posted August 16, 2013 (edited) The most recent ex, yep, total fake. Initially I held on to what or who I thought she was, but quickly took her off the pedestal and now see things for what they truly were. Like others have said, she was a master of telling me what I wanted/needed to hear, but never actually took action to change things, not once. Actions speak louder than words. I guess I stayed in the relationship always hoping she'd change into the person I wanted/needed her to be, which is the wrong reason. I didn't like her for who she was at the present time, and so in a way, I'm responsible for my own misery. I'm at the anger stage, using it to motivate me and rebuild my self-esteem. I didn't deserve her crap, and have a lot to offer someone who is deserving. It's a blessing in disguise, her leaving, because now it's someone else's turn to babysit and deal with her BS. i so related to this response in particular, and bolded the parts that especially echoed my sentiments. My ex turned out to be one of the fakest people i have ever met. At the end of the relationship, she tried blaming ME too. She told me during and especially after the relationship that she always felt that she wasnt good enough for me and that i was going to find someone to replace her and leave her in the dust...and that somehow THAT WAS MY FAULT, HER FEELING THAT WAY. That I made her feel like that. My ex was so insecure, i spent the entire relationship assuring her I would never just drop a human being like that, especially not one im in love with. Yet somehow, her own issues of jealousy and insecurity made me a bad guy. Actions do speak louder than words, and i was BLIND to not take that more seriously- i saw that her words never matched her actions. She remained unmotivated in school (and failed her first semester- at a community college), maintained friendships with drug addicts and alcoholics, kept spending all her money on clothes and shoes, and NEVER addressed any of her issues- jealousy, insecurity, emotional instability, lack of responsibility, etc. Throughout the relationship, she would apologize and apologize, swear she understood how certain things werent okay and that she was going to change. Yet it never happened. And, even worse, by the end she blamed me for almost all of it. Now, i see everything as it is and as it was. She manipulated me the entire time, playing on the love i had for her to make me believe she would change and that she was the type of girl i would be with. And how she has been since we broke up has been even worse. She repeatedly made excuses not to talk on the phone, would randomly stop replying if we were texting. When i told her enough, its best i say goodbye and we remain not talking, she would lure me back in saying how much she loved me and she was sorry. and i ate it up even then. The way she casually told me she was moving away for good, as if it meant nothing..and the way she recently had her best friend try friending me on fb so she could try and look through my stuff...who is this person? I saw a pic of her recently (not my choice trust me)..and she had dyed her hair, was wearing new, low cut top, and about a pound of make up. I looked at that girl in the picture, and im still trying to figure it out: Is this who she was the whole time..that trashy looking girl in the picture? She looked physically different in the picture, but on a deeper level, she felt different to me. The girl i was in love with, she was just an idea. Not this trash that exists today. Edited August 16, 2013 by Echo000
Still Searching Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 i so related to this response in particular, and bolded the parts that especially echoed my sentiments. My ex turned out to be one of the fakest people i have ever met. At the end of the relationship, she tried blaming ME too. She told me during and especially after the relationship that she always felt that she wasnt good enough for me and that i was going to find someone to replace her and leave her in the dust...and that somehow THAT WAS MY FAULT, HER FEELING THAT WAY. That I made her feel like that. My ex was so insecure, i spent the entire relationship assuring her I would never just drop a human being like that, especially not one im in love with. Yet somehow, her own issues of jealousy and insecurity made me a bad guy. Actions do speak louder than words, and i was BLIND to not take that more seriously- i saw that her words never matched her actions. She remained unmotivated in school (and failed her first semester- at a community college), maintained friendships with drug addicts and alcoholics, kept spending all her money on clothes and shoes, and NEVER addressed any of her issues- jealousy, insecurity, emotional instability, lack of responsibility, etc. Throughout the relationship, she would apologize and apologize, swear she understood how certain things werent okay and that she was going to change. Yet it never happened. And, even worse, by the end she blamed me for almost all of it. Now, i see everything as it is and as it was. She manipulated me the entire time, playing on the love i had for her to make me believe she would change and that she was the type of girl i would be with. And how she has been since we broke up has been even worse. She repeatedly made excuses not to talk on the phone, would randomly stop replying if we were texting. When i told her enough, its best i say goodbye and we remain not talking, she would lure me back in saying how much she loved me and she was sorry. and i ate it up even then. The way she casually told me she was moving away for good, as if it meant nothing..and the way she recently had her best friend try friending me on fb so she could try and look through my stuff...who is this person? I saw a pic of her recently (not my choice trust me)..and she had dyed her hair, was wearing new, low cut top, and about a pound of make up. I looked at that girl in the picture, and im still trying to figure it out: Is this who she was the whole time..that trashy looking girl in the picture? She looked physically different in the picture, but on a deeper level, she felt different to me. The girl i was in love with, she was just an idea. Not this trash that exists today. Glad you could relate, Echo. I heard the same, apologies all the time (although very insincere, and sometimes it felt like she just said, "sorry" simply to end the conversation), how she realized things needed to change. My ex was flighty, left the relationship numerous times, and the sick part was, I loved her even more, and always was ready to make another go at it (again, hanging onto the false hope that she'd actually change). I had enough at one point, and told her bluntly that I didn't deserve what she was doing, and said my goodbye. Wouldn't you know it, a week later I heard from her, and she gave me one heck of a sales pitch (which of course, I bought, right?) I'll give you one guess how things turned out... Yep, nothing changed, and FINALLY I see things for what they are, as mentioned in my previous post. Some people like that keep coming back just for us to feed their ego. It's not easy to stop, but hopefully others read this and learn from our experiences.
Tropi_cali510 Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 Not my ex but a girl I met and had really good chemistry for 3 months and acted like a couple, one day just wanted a space outta no where, I asked her if there's another guy she said not even she just needed to focus on her. But everyday I think to myself what about all the good times we had, what about all the great things she told me about myself, I feel like there all lies, really never got an explanation pretty much feel like you dude just girls are fake as fck! Lol iono I just take the positive from this and no contact works takes time but I feel like I can pull a badder one and shes just 1 girl and there's a million other females out there that are way badder. Girls are fake period seems to me if you don't screw them over first they'll screw you over before you even realize it there gone like you never existed..
Author Echo000 Posted August 16, 2013 Author Posted August 16, 2013 ya lol it does at least seem that way. girls complain about men nonstop..how men cheat and are unfaithful or uncaring or whatever..but its like when the guy actually isnt like that, they take on that role. So many girls complain about men being no good. in this society, girls who are abandoned/hurt/cheated/lied to have such a nice support system and a place of consolation. Where do men go when they are abused?
Misfortune Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 ya lol it does at least seem that way. girls complain about men nonstop..how men cheat and are unfaithful or uncaring or whatever..but its like when the guy actually isnt like that, they take on that role. So many girls complain about men being no good. in this society, girls who are abandoned/hurt/cheated/lied to have such a nice support system and a place of consolation. Where do men go when they are abused? "Where are all the good men?" <---- They all have crushed hearts and trust issues because of all the "good" women they've encountered. Men aren't suppose to feel/show emotions. We man up, watch sports, go to the gym and move to the next chick.
Tropi_cali510 Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 Exactly, we man up, don't get attached emotionally even we do sometimes, work out, better our lives, get a new girl to make the old one jealous and want you back then it's her loss not yours lol. Takes time but I feel if you have a strong mind, just do you work out eat good, it'll eventually pay off, if she wasn't meant to be oh well there's one someone out there that's gonna be better sexier and do things twice as good as the last one patience is a virtue
Chixmom Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 (edited) i saw him masturbating to gay porn i don't know if i should say anything, I don't care that he watches porn but this was just 4 guys pretty hard core, is that normal? yeimi - Check out my thread. It may save you some quality years. It may not be a problem for you though. Everyone is different. As far as OP. I believe most people who do a Jekyll and Hyde the day after the wedding got into the marriage to try to look normal to the world. Very selfish of them to cause collateral damage in their spouse. If it's a slow deterioration, either the faker had unrealistic expectations of what a marriage is or (immaturely) hoped something might change within themselves. So it is either outright premeditated for the cover up or possibly a case of not knowing themselves well enough. Edited August 16, 2013 by Chixmom
mtnbiker3000 Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 ^^*Grieve* My complaint, and I think many others as well, is that our ex's led us on. I know my ex used me to make moving across the state an easier and more comfortable experience. She shouldn't have done this. She should have broke up with me BEFORE the move and let me stay where I was. Where my family and friends are. That was NOT right... Nothing to do with changing feelings or any of that horse sh*t. Purely for her benefit and no regard to my feelings or well being!!
Tropi_cali510 Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 really its like i got at a girl to get some p*ssu, but turns out we had alot in common, we realy clicked, first she said no relationship isnt what she wants then when she finally knew me and went out boned a whole bunch, she was saying she can make an exception blah blah blah, she misses me. then one day its i need space, to focus on me. now it feels like i never existed to her and what she meant to me was nothing like i meant to her obviously.Girls are fake, you dont screw them over they end up screwing you over...its not about mariiage its about being upfront and truthful to the person your spending time with. girls just pms and youll never get to actually know why they make the dumbest moves.
Joaquin Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 Agree with skidmark. But spewing vitriol in a forum is a great way to vent. She was a this. He was a that. Eventually u start getting bored with it and realise yr done, yr over it and yr fine.
Knoxpwns Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 Why people need to slam their Exes and paint them black to feel better about themselves is beyond me. Your Ex, your relationship is not a reflection of you, your worth or what you have to offer. You need to fix your self-worth, self-esteem, get your validation and approval from within and grow some thicker skin. Otherwise, dating / relationships is going to be a very traumatic, miserable and painful experience for you. Was I fraud or fake with the people who I was in a relationship with who I dumped? No. Are the people who dumped me frauds or fake? No. People change and feelings don't remain the same. I broke up with people to go "Sow My Wild Oats" or because I no longer had feelings for them or because I no longer saw a future with them. What would you have me do... Stay with them for their sake as to not damage their ego, pride, self-esteem or cause them pain? I did the right for me and the person I dumped. None of my Exes are calling me up 1, 3, 5, 10+ years later complaining how their love life turned out. They all healed, moved on and married, had kids and very happy / blessed to share their life with someone they love very much and someone who loves them in return. Same will happen to you if you choose to get over your Ex and the relationship you two once had. Why make your break up more complicated and messy than it has to be by carrying around buckets of "water" you don't have too, trying to convince the world your Ex is evil (nobody cares or can do a thing about it) or measuring / comparing yourself to what your Ex does after you? Your Ex isn't the person you are going to be with or marry which is part of the whole dating / relationship process. Guess what, you probably won't end up with / marry the next person either. If you can't handle that or practically end up in a mental institution because of it... STOP DATING and ENTERING IN RELATIONSHIPS THINKING IT'S A MARRIAGE (till death due us part) and think / treat / handle dating / relationships as you should. Grief your loss, heal and move on so you can meet the person you will do that with. Anything less than that is you are only hurting yourself. Really dude? Like, I get your message, but venting about your ex is part of the grieving proccess. You make it seem like we just snap our fingers and magically the last X years of our life totally didnt fall to *****. If it was simple as just brushing it off our shoulder and moving to the next one like nothing happened, then this forum wouldn't even exist...
Sugarkane Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 Why? Because I've had dumpers paint me black to justify everything and slam me to people. Typical dumper move. Why people need to slam their Exes and paint them black to feel better about themselves is beyond me. Your Ex, your relationship is not a reflection of you, your worth or what you have to offer. You need to fix your self-worth, self-esteem, get your validation and approval from within and grow some thicker skin. Otherwise, dating / relationships is going to be a very traumatic, miserable and painful experience for you. Was I fraud or fake with the people who I was in a relationship with who I dumped? No. Are the people who dumped me frauds or fake? No. People change and feelings don't remain the same. I broke up with people to go "Sow My Wild Oats" or because I no longer had feelings for them or because I no longer saw a future with them. What would you have me do... Stay with them for their sake as to not damage their ego, pride, self-esteem or cause them pain? I did the right for me and the person I dumped. None of my Exes are calling me up 1, 3, 5, 10+ years later complaining how their love life turned out. They all healed, moved on and married, had kids and very happy / blessed to share their life with someone they love very much and someone who loves them in return. Same will happen to you if you choose to get over your Ex and the relationship you two once had. Why make your break up more complicated and messy than it has to be by carrying around buckets of "water" you don't have too, trying to convince the world your Ex is evil (nobody cares or can do a thing about it) or measuring / comparing yourself to what your Ex does after you? Your Ex isn't the person you are going to be with or marry which is part of the whole dating / relationship process. Guess what, you probably won't end up with / marry the next person either. If you can't handle that or practically end up in a mental institution because of it... STOP DATING and ENTERING IN RELATIONSHIPS THINKING IT'S A MARRIAGE (till death due us part) and think / treat / handle dating / relationships as you should. Grief your loss, heal and move on so you can meet the person you will do that with. Anything less than that is you are only hurting yourself.
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