reddragon588 Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 I broke it and looked at her Instagram. Feel silly now. I had that irrational fear she was seeing someone again. Her Instagram didn't reveal anything either way. It gave me reason to suspect it more, but it didn't relieve that fear. And it's a fear I shouldn't be holding onto anyway. We're not together so what does it matter.
kindofsad Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Instagram is bad!! I broke NC on day 10. She was giving me money back and only paid a 1/3 of it so I text her so tell her I wanted it all back. It was stupid, she text me loads all day and I replied. It wasn't anything too personal, mostly 'practical' stuff but I regret answering. I was happy to hear from her, I think she has a hold over me!!! Today I have been feeling bad and I know its a result of breaking NC and letting her back in my subconcious. She has text me again this evening but I am going to ignore from now on. Lesson learnt the hard way. Oh she still owes me half the money, I am just going to forget about it now though, I'm sure she will pay me back eventually. 1
reddragon588 Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 I broke it again and reactivated my Facebook and looked at her profile. I deactivated after but nothing good really came of it. I'm still moving forward but geez, I still really miss her. I need to refocus on maintaining the no contact including no social media.
kindofsad Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 I broke it again and reactivated my Facebook and looked at her profile. I deactivated after but nothing good really came of it. I'm still moving forward but geez, I still really miss her. I need to refocus on maintaining the no contact including no social media. Oh no! My ex is with someone else, she denied it when we broke up but my gut instinct knew there was someone else. She admitted it a few weeks later and added her on facebook. That is when I blocked her and I haven't been tempted to look since because it will make me sick. Really don't look, it will only bring you pain, assume she has someone (she will one day!) and AVOID photos. Now if I could do the same with texts...... 1
reddragon588 Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Oh no! My ex is with someone else, she denied it when we broke up but my gut instinct knew there was someone else. She admitted it a few weeks later and added her on facebook. That is when I blocked her and I haven't been tempted to look since because it will make me sick. Really don't look, it will only bring you pain, assume she has someone (she will one day!) and AVOID photos. Now if I could do the same with texts...... Thank you for the kind words. I'm right back to where I was last week when I started my no social media checking. It's like I threw away a whole week of progress for 10 minutes of curiosity. Turns out the thing that had me suspicious she was seeing someone was her with her dad at a ball game. Well, tomorrow is Day 1 again, and I'm starting again now! I just need to shake off the negative feelings and go forward with my life.
mtnbiker3000 Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Thanks mtnbiker! That sounds like a cool book. I've read a few articles online about living in the present and staying connected with what's in front of you. We all tend to over worry about things outside our control. Good reminder! Yeah, it's a pretty powerful book. Kind of new age and all, but very powerful. Very much deals with living in the present and getting away from the past and future. If your interested, I have a MP3 version I can give to you (or anyone else who is interested). It is much easier to listen to opposed to reading. I play it my car a lot. PM me if interested...
Emma1234 Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 I know blocking would make it easier but I can't do that as we have a very close knit friendship group at uni and he would make a big deal out if it and turn me into the 'bad, immature person'. Basically he broke up with me after 2.5 years to find himself etc etc. (the usual rubbish). It has been 3 and a half months and I've been no contact but checking fb and Instagram for about 6 weeks and complete NC including not checking social media for 4 days. This is a lot for me. I learnt the hard way and saw pictures of him with a girl. He contacted me a few days ago but it was because he thought i had deleted him on fb (he was on his other account we aren't friends on) so I ignored it. Basically my question is how do you personally fight to urge not to check social media except for blocking them? I'm struggling right now, I know it'll pass and the urge will go as I have no desire to actually contact him but advice to quit checking up on them socially would be so helpful. 1
lovesucks76 Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Yeah, it's a pretty powerful book. Kind of new age and all, but very powerful. Very much deals with living in the present and getting away from the past and future. If your interested, I have a MP3 version I can give to you (or anyone else who is interested). It is much easier to listen to opposed to reading. I play it my car a lot. PM me if interested... I'd appreciate it. I will check the PM thing here ad try to send you my email. I'm not sure how it works but I'll figure it out. Thanks again.
reddragon588 Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 I deleted her from all social media. I feel sad, but relieved. It's time to move forward with my life. Deactivating my Facebook was ok for when I did it, but I can't hide like that. Eventually I had to face deleting her. It was the last piece of me holding onto her, and now I've let that go. I feel strangely at peace. I was worried that deleting her would ruin any chances I had at reconciliation, but the fact is, I've already lost her, nothing I can do at this point can make me lose her- she's already gone. 1
lalalovekay Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 4th day of NC Its driving me crazyknowing that he wont make an effort in even talking to me. I just want to call him and scream and ask for another chance. I know if its meant to be its meant to be. And part of me says he will come back, he will text me but the other part says he wont that hes moved on. Im confused why do I feel like hes moved on already but then I also feel like hes dying to text me too? I miss him more than ever. Will he ever text me
lovesucks76 Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 Maybe! I wouldn't expect anything. I just don't want you to be disappointed. The best thing to do is stay away right now, it's only 4 days! I know right now it sounds like a lifetime. Take a deep breath!
lalalovekay Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 Maybe! I wouldn't expect anything. I just don't want you to be disappointed. The best thing to do is stay away right now, it's only 4 days! I know right now it sounds like a lifetime. Take a deep breath! I know im trying not to get my hopes up or expect anything really hard but its my birthday in 4 days and in the perfect dream thats when he'll come back to me but I know it wont
jesse93 Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 I've been talking to my ex as "friends" for the past couple weeks, not because I wanted it, I was about 1 week NC when my friend texted me saying she missed me and wanted me to text her, so I did and then we had a heart to heart talk and we started talking almost every other day, but this whole past week I've been wanting to break this friendship because I didn't want the friendship in the first place but she would text me almost every day from the KIK app and I never had the strength to ignore the message and not respond back, so I told her one night I'd like to talk to her and tell her something, ( I was going to tell her goodbye) she responded saying she would message me when she has time, but the next time she texted me she completely ignored the fact that I wanted to talk to her about something and pretended I never said it, so for the past 4-5 days we've been talking but the convos are becoming less and less interesting it seems like we're just pushing each other away even more without knowing it, I got fed up and finally found the strength to uninstall the KIK app, I have her blocked on facebook, deleted her on xbox, skype any way she could contact me is gone now.. I didn't say goodbye I just uninstalled the app and that is that, its been two days, and its hard not having her right there to text and say hi, but i really need this, I can't go on messaging her back and forth pretending like I'm ok but wanting to cry on the other side of the screen. I know 2 days is nothing, but I just hope I have the strength to avoid contacting her from now on, and avoid looking at any social media of hers, I really hope I have the strength.. I've never felt like someone who is emotionally strong, I have always felt weak when it comes to emotions.. But I'm going to prove her, and myself wrong that I can do this because she knows that I always come back running. So I'm hoping for the best.
bougs Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 NC is a hard thing to do. I'm on my day 4 now. it sucks! but i'm trying harder and harder every single day. i think about her all the time. i still look at our pictures and now i wear something that she gave to me before. let's fight! we can do this! for our own good :D:D
lalalovekay Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 Day 5. The day just started but im already missing him. He usually broke the no contact after 3 days. I cant help but cry even if im at work. Im so tempted to texting him just to say hi atleast to tell him im ready to be friends but I know I have to be strong.
hellischrome Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 end of day 2. It's like the other times... but it's good somehow, because I know this time is for real... and the reason is that I choose this time. I know I could write to him and he would be friendly and even agree to see me and say things like he'll always be there for me... but I don't want him as a friend.
theonlyjuan Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 Thought I'd join in 24th day. It is pretty easy after a while. For all of those that are struggling, trust me you can do it. I don't get any temptations to contact her I just do my own thing, before I know it another day has gone. When we first broke up it was harder, but after the first few weeks it got easier and had no desire to contact her. I had lasted about 2 or 3 weeks previously but she saw me at a bar and spoke to me. It's weird NC turns them into a stranger, it was like I was meeting her for the first time. I had nothing to say to her, didn't want to make conversation and felt nothing. I guess that's proof NC works
lalalovekay Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 Thought I'd join in 24th day. It is pretty easy after a while. For all of those that are struggling, trust me you can do it. I don't get any temptations to contact her I just do my own thing, before I know it another day has gone. When we first broke up it was harder, but after the first few weeks it got easier and had no desire to contact her. I had lasted about 2 or 3 weeks previously but she saw me at a bar and spoke to me. It's weird NC turns them into a stranger, it was like I was meeting her for the first time. I had nothing to say to her, didn't want to make conversation and felt nothing. I guess that's proof NC works I have a few questions if you dont mind. When you first started did you too think you justt wanted her back that you couldve worked it out? && did she ever contact you?
theonlyjuan Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 I have a few questions if you dont mind. When you first started did you too think you justt wanted her back that you couldve worked it out? && did she ever contact you? Yeah, I thought she made a mistake and would realise it. For the first few days I spoke to her like normal and asked her stuff about why she broke up with me. We agreed to be friends, which I think she still thinks we are. I just can't bothered with all that right now At the end of the first week I thought I would go NC then she randomly text me, so i replied. I kept seeing her at my work so I spoke to her then. I went NC again and that came to an end when she saw me out and started speaking to me. I haven't spoken to her since then. I think now she feels it's my turn to make the effort, which I am not going to do. It can get a bit childish like " I'm not talking to you unless you talk to me first " I ain't playing those games, I don't want to talk to her at the moment
reddragon588 Posted August 24, 2013 Posted August 24, 2013 I deleted her from all social media. I feel sad, but relieved. It's time to move forward with my life. Deactivating my Facebook was ok for when I did it, but I can't hide like that. Eventually I had to face deleting her. It was the last piece of me holding onto her, and now I've let that go. I feel strangely at peace. I was worried that deleting her would ruin any chances I had at reconciliation, but the fact is, I've already lost her, nothing I can do at this point can make me lose her- she's already gone. She just texted me bitching about me deleting her, claiming I'm cruel, calling me immature and saying it doesn't erase our relationship. I'm trying to move forward, she's living in the past. Still really want to respond to her but I can't.
reddragon588 Posted August 25, 2013 Posted August 25, 2013 She just texted me bitching about me deleting her, claiming I'm cruel, calling me immature and saying it doesn't erase our relationship. I'm trying to move forward, she's living in the past. Still really want to respond to her but I can't. Haha and now she's butthurt that I didn't respond to her. Honestly, this is good because it has let me see how immature she is. To get upset over something like this, when she broke up with me, is really a lack of maturity.
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