Is it fair to keep dragging my wife into my issues?

[Woggle]

I want to stay with her. I really do but I know I will probably have these freakouts and these issues for a very long time. I have an appointment tomorrow and I really hope seeking professional help can solve things but I am not holding my breath. Just an hour ago I read something on here that ticked me off and I was about to post something stupid but I stopped myself.

 

Honestly if I were dating a female version of me I would have ran for the hills but she sticks around for some reason. Should I just tell her to be happy and stop dealing with my drama?

[knitwit]

I want to stay with her. I really do but I know I will probably have these freakouts and these issues for a very long time. I have an appointment tomorrow and I really hope seeking professional help can solve things but I am not holding my breath. Just an hour ago I read something on here that ticked me off and I was about to post something stupid but I stopped myself.

 

Honestly if I were dating a female version of me I would have ran for the hills but she sticks around for some reason. Should I just tell her to be happy and stop dealing with my drama?

 

It might take you a long time, but she signed on with you for the long haul, yes? You're getting help, going to therapy, doing the right things. This is good. I suggest that you give her the opportunity to be with you and enjoy the less stressed, more secure guy once you've gotten some successful therapy underway. She loves you now, I'll bet she'll love you then, too.

[xxoo]

. Should I just tell her to be happy and stop dealing with my drama?

 

Imagine your wife was very depressed. She's struggling and suffering, and cries a lot. She feels guilty for submitting you to her depression, and considers divorcing you to force you free from her depression.

 

Is that what you'd want her to do? Or would you want her to tell you what is going on, honestly, and allow you to help her?

 

She should be allowed to make her own decision about whether she wants to deal with your drama or not. Give her the facts. Let her in, and allow her to understand what you are struggling with. Let her choose for herself.

[Nyla]

She stays because she loves you very much, Woggle.

 

You are understandably traumatized by your last marriage and your relationship with your mother.

 

It would be tragic if those issues ruined your chance at a happy marriage.

 

I hope therapy helps.

[Ruby Slippers]

My boyfriend just took off for an out-of-town trip. This will be the longest we've gone without seeing each other since we got together. He kept telling me all week he was really going to miss me. I asked what we was going to miss. He said with a smile: "Your drama."

 

Well, that made me smile.

 

Love the person, love their drama.

 

From everything I've heard here, it sounds like your wife really loves you. We all offer a mix of qualities. Your wife loves you not just for bits and pieces of you, but the whole enchilada.