Tamin Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 I posted earlier but forgot to mention: Although I was told in so many words that he's not ready for a relationship, about an hour later into our conversation, he hesitated before stating, "I don't usually tell people this kind of stuff..." And then went on to tell me about the loss of a child from his previous girlfriend. I didn't prob too much because what he was telling me had to be pretty painful. He then went on to tell me that he liked poetry and asked if I had heard of a particular poet. He stated that maybe he would take me to see some one night. Also he mentioned that he had just joined IG (another social media site) and looked me up and followed me and I was surprised that he looked for me. This is still confusing to me as it sounds like he's feeling me out to see if we would work as a couple, although he's still basically sleeping around. Does this mean anything at all?
Author Tamin Posted August 16, 2013 Author Posted August 16, 2013 Well we have known each other since childhood. This is just our first time (but maybe 3rd conversation) getting to know each other as adults so I don't think it's a personality disorder. I hope not
miss_jaclynrae Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 All I am going to say is that I dated this GREAT guy, for 3 months or so? We went out on lots of dates, and had a blast together. We talked about really deep things and had an amazing connection. Everything from horrible family crap, to future dreams. That being said, we never had a true label on our relationship. He made it clear he wasn't ready for one. So we just enjoyed it while we had it. It is sweet, but I would never assume a man means more than he says. He told you where he stands. Believe him. 4
Author Tamin Posted August 16, 2013 Author Posted August 16, 2013 Well I won't assume anything but I think I will follow my gut and continue to be friends with him. If it's meant to be, then it will happen but I'm sure he will be honest and let me know if he has a change of heart. In the meantime, I'll continue to date but I sure wish the other guys and I had the same chemistry. Thanks for your advice
BradJacobs Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 You don't need to be sleeping around to not want a relationship.
Author Tamin Posted August 16, 2013 Author Posted August 16, 2013 Here's the first part of my question: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/416841-double-language When I asked about a relationship, he said he didn't want to hurt me and well... you can read it
LilySun Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 I dont find it odd to share personal stories with someone you have known that long. But I was once in a "non relationship" , where the guy didnt want one but he told me all kinds of personal things when we would talk. And he did not want a relshp with me at all. So I dont think we exactly need to have special feelings for someone in order to open up to them. But, it sounds like material for a good friendship. 1
Clockwork Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 You know, it all depends. In less than a month I told my then-girlfriend my skeletons. Why? I don't know, it felt right, I trusted her and most of all I had a crazy ex who had the potential to stalk us. So I wanted her to hear everything from ME. Even the bad stuff. I didn't want her hearing it from another source. It worked out. We got married a year and a half later. 1
Leigh 87 Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 When a guy broke up with me when I was 16, he told me the biggest, darkest secret of his life about how his uncle molested him. I cried. He cried. Yet, he was breaking up with me and felt the need to share something that he obviously wanted to feel less alone about (his secret). Sometimes, guys feel like your a person they can trust and who will be there for them in a certain way. That is ALL it is. DO NOT read anymore into it. He would make it known he was into you and wanted to be with you. 1
Author Tamin Posted August 16, 2013 Author Posted August 16, 2013 You know, it all depends. In less than a month I told my then-girlfriend my skeletons. Why? I don't know, it felt right, I trusted her and most of all I had a crazy ex who had the potential to stalk us. So I wanted her to hear everything from ME. Even the bad stuff. I didn't want her hearing it from another source. It worked out. We got married a year and a half later. Congrats on the marriage! Gives me some hope
Author Tamin Posted August 16, 2013 Author Posted August 16, 2013 Sometimes, guys feel like your a person they can trust and who will be there for them in a certain way. That is ALL it is. DO NOT read anymore into it. He would make it known he was into you and wanted to be with you. Trust is a good thing. I won't read anymore into it. These responses have been refreshing. But like I stated earlier, I'm trusting my gut with him. I believe him when he says he doesn't want to hurt me but we're both open to being friends (who happen to be attracted to each other. Yes he's told me that). But hopefully he'll have a change of heart one day. You never know....
Leigh 87 Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 You will find guys out there who will be crazy for you, in a romantic, all encompassing sense. It may or may not be him. I doubt it is him, or he would have pushed for a relationship with you. That does not mean he does not think very highly of you! I am sure he probably quiet likes you! He is just not passionate enough. You deserve better. When a guy really cherishes you and he feels strongly about you, more often than not, he will head in the direction of a serious relationship with you. Unless he is into open relationships, which very few guys truly are (they are just not into their partner enough and seek more). Feel flattered he felt the need to confide in you! It is lovely when people feel comfortable enough to share their secrets with you. He will, however, lose respect for you if you initiate more contact than he does and if you push for dates when he is not asking for them. Reply to him. Talk happily to him if he calls. If he initiates enough, occasionally throw a text his way and initiate. But never initiate dates unless HE regularly does, first. And take note: if you want more from him and the fact he is not giving it to you upsets you, cease contact with him for now. Would him meeting a girl who he WANTS to be with, upset you? If so, cut contact and get over him for now. 2
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