Tamin Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 I've recently reunited with my childhood crush and we have been talking/texting sporadically for about 2 months but when we talk, our conversations can go for 2 hours or more. There's obvious chemistry as we both admitted to being in love with each other as children so-- I finally decided to ask him if we have a shot at a relationship and he replies: "I don't want to hurt you. I'm a wild factor. Can you handle that?... I have kids, sometimes I drink hard... our lives went on different paths but... I still want to take you out sometimes and talk... hang out." He goes on to ask, "Did you think about those things?" And I told him I have but I can't help feeling that there's something more to come of us. Also, I asked him why he never calls first and always asks me to call and he literally got tongue tied and we both had to laugh. I told him we can talk about that later. Finally when our 3 hour convo ended, he says "Call me anytime. Call me. Don't be a stranger." To me he is saying what he thinks he's supposed to say but his actions to me (and some language) indicates that he wants to take a chance with me. Specifically answers from guys, what do you think?
New User Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 I think that he either isn't that into you, or he's looking for an FWB situation. That comment about his flaws.... could have been intentionally phrased like that to either appeal to some women's desire to be with the "bad boy," or to give himself an out later if you two decide to tumble into bed together. Regardless, from my vantage point it sounds a bit like a line. A line from a guy who wants to keep things casual. Nothing wrong with that if that's what you want, but I think if you're looking for something serious you would be wise to keep looking. 3
clia Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 I finally decided to ask him if we have a shot at a relationship and he replies: "I don't want to hurt you. I'm a wild factor. Can you handle that?... I have kids, sometimes I drink hard... our lives went on different paths but... I still want to take you out sometimes and talk... hang out." Meaning: He is not interested in anything serious with you. He will not commit to you. He does not want a relationship with you. He will be dating other women. He may act like a douche bag. But, if you want to bang, he's totally down for that. Can you dig it? Also, I asked him why he never calls first and always asks me to call and he literally got tongue tied and we both had to laugh. I told him we can talk about that later. Finally when our 3 hour convo ended, he says "Call me anytime. Call me. Don't be a stranger." Meaning: He's going to put no effort into it, but if you call him, he'll talk to you if he doesn't have anything better to do. But really, he's hoping you'll bang him at some point. From what I can see, he's given you no indication that he wants something serious. Hanging on the phone with you for a few hours doesn't mean much if he doesn't have anything better to do. He isn't pursuing you, he isn't asking you out on dates, and he's warned you that he's a douchebag. So, I guess now you have to decide if you want a real relationship, or if you are willing to settle for this. I do give him props for being honest, though. Now you have to be sure to listen to what he is saying. 4
Author Tamin Posted August 15, 2013 Author Posted August 15, 2013 FORGOT TO MENTION: I just broke up with my boyfriend and he stated "what if I'm a rebound?" I assured him that he's not because I've always had feelings for him.
Author Tamin Posted August 15, 2013 Author Posted August 15, 2013 Meaning: He is not interested in anything serious with you. He will not commit to you. He does not want a relationship with you. He will be dating other women. He may act like a douche bag. But, if you want to bang, he's totally down for that. Can you dig it? Meaning: He's going to put no effort into it, but if you call him, he'll talk to you if he doesn't have anything better to do. But really, he's hoping you'll bang him at some point. From what I can see, he's given you no indication that he wants something serious. Hanging on the phone with you for a few hours doesn't mean much if he doesn't have anything better to do. He isn't pursuing you, he isn't asking you out on dates, and he's warned you that he's a douchebag. So, I guess now you have to decide if you want a real relationship, or if you are willing to settle for this. I do give him props for being honest, though. Now you have to be sure to listen to what he is saying. Wow. What's sad is that I can't shake this feeling that we're supposed to be together... I have others lined up but the chemistry is not the same
Author Tamin Posted August 16, 2013 Author Posted August 16, 2013 Finally when our 3 hour convo ended, he says "Call me anytime. Call me. Don't be a stranger." This could also mean - "I'm insecure and if you happen to be busy when I call, I'll look desperate" Maybe??? LOL
forgetmenot75 Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 He doesn't seem to be that interested. He's not pursuing you, it's the same f you call or not, he never initiates. He's been honest he doesn;t want something serious with you, but you are ignoring the red flags. He wants sex, he's not romantic interest on you. you're gonna be hurt with this one.
forgetmenot75 Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 where do you see the double language? It's clear for me.
TheGuard13 Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 Men don't tend to use "double speak". There's no need to overanalyze our words. We say what we mean most of the time. 2
Author Tamin Posted August 16, 2013 Author Posted August 16, 2013 QUOTE=forgetmenot75;5138331]where do you see the double language? It's clear for me. I guess it's the things we talk [about that I didn't post. We talk about marriage, we talk about the fact that we have an understanding of each other because of our similar upbringing, and he also talks a lot about what we could have been. Prior to us reuniting, he was also my prom date. He likes to talk about what could've happened had we stayed together. Saying things like we could've had children, went into business together (we share a similar career interest), been married..... But then he goes into how our lives went into different directions as if it's too late, but I don't think it is. It's too much to post but overall, this is why I'm confused. Our conversations sound as if he's really just seeing what I'm open to. But guys are "straight forward" so I guess there's nothing to decipher.
forgetmenot75 Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 Yeah, he's speaking hypothetically: "what if..." but nothing more than that. Don't give it second thoughts. One time, a guy I was seeing -a player that he used me only for sex- spoke me about having kids and running away with him. Just words. It's the acts what matters more, and I don't see this guy being fully invested on you right now. 1
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