Monodare1 Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 Had another argument with the soon to be ex mrs, this time she listed what brought her to the decision, firstly, that I wasn't good at DIY in the home! That I stressed about small things which made her feel nervous, that I didn't seem happy and that we were just not working. I've heard many excused, but it must be the first times marriage ended because I was not really brilliant at putting flat pack furniture together, speechless! 2
Yasuandio Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 I hate to tell you this, man. But the bull your wife is giving you is code for affair fog. She's a gonner. Best thing u can do is agree, agree, agree. Take the attitude, well, I'm happy for you. Now you'll have the freedom to have another more suitable man available to assemble furniture and handle the DIY's. Wish her luck in her quest, offer to assist her in packing and finding a new place to live, and of course, offer your condolences that you were unable to meet these requirements. Be enthusiastic - you love her, and you want her to be happy. It sounds counterintuitive - but it is your only choice, nothing else is going to work. All other options tend to suggest "she is wrong." Agree! She is right! I am proposing the Homer McDonald methods to you. Particularly the three-sentence method. Check the pinned thread on Critical Readings (cite below), Homer may give you some good insight, in my opinion. Yas 5
revitup Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 Yas is exactly right......except for the "Homer McDonald method"! OP needs the ....."BOB VILLA METHOD" I thought I had saw it all.....2nd time I have been wrong,I guess. REVITUP 2
Misfortune Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 Had another argument with the soon to be ex mrs, this time she listed what brought her to the decision, firstly, that I wasn't good at DIY in the home! That I stressed about small things which made her feel nervous, that I didn't seem happy and that we were just not working. I've heard many excused, but it must be the first times marriage ended because I was not really brilliant at putting flat pack furniture together, speechless! People honestly will find anything when they want out or want to make you look bad. I agree with Yas' post. 1
vla1120 Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 In my relationship, I have always been the DIYer. He wouldn't know what a hammer looks like. Hell. I take out the damn trash and mow the freaking lawn, too. Hmmm. You can agree with her like Yas and Rev said, or you can tell her "I know what you mean, I was always a little disappointed that you weren't be bit more handy around the house, too." 1
M30USA Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 People honestly will find anything when they want out or want to make you look bad. I agree with Yas' post. I think this is true most of the time, especially when a person gets "bored" with their spouse.
It-is-what-it-is. Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 Had another argument with the soon to be ex mrs, this time she listed what brought her to the decision, firstly, that I wasn't good at DIY in the home! That I stressed about small things which made her feel nervous, that I didn't seem happy and that we were just not working. I've heard many excused, but it must be the first times marriage ended because I was not really brilliant at putting flat pack furniture together, speechless! I know this is hard, but I agree with the other posters. And this is frankly hysterical...did you laugh? I am not overly polite when people saw nonsense like this... And I keep thinking of the darn IKEA assembly instructions that say..."you must be two people to assemble this"... Kinda like a marriage... Chin up...better days ahead.
Author Monodare1 Posted August 16, 2013 Author Posted August 16, 2013 Yes I did laugh, I was incredulous, I actually imagines what would be said to the lawyer: "So Mrs ******* what reasons do you have for proceeding with the dicorce?" her: "Well we bought a chest of drawers out of Ikea and my husband took 3 hours to build it when it says you can build in and hour and a half" I have to admit that I did stress a bit easy, especially in the mornings when I was trying to get my son ready and her out of bed for us to go to work and nursery, but a divorce case? Really? I am aware that she doesn't have any other guy in tow just now though so I guess she was just fed up with being with me.
Man-guy Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 Well, that's a little better than what I got. I bought flowers too rarely and didn't clean up enough around the house! The last time that we talked, she repeated that and topped it off with being taken for granted. To be honest I felt relief at the time to know that her demands were crazy under our circumstances (DDS for me and grad psych her) and I couldn't have done anything to try to help her out at all, as she had been checked out of the marriage for a while. I hope she gets out of the "fog" but I assume it won't be until she dates two or three other guys :/ oh well, the comedy continues.
It-is-what-it-is. Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 Yes I did laugh, I was incredulous, I actually imagines what would be said to the lawyer: "So Mrs ******* what reasons do you have for proceeding with the dicorce?" her: "Well we bought a chest of drawers out of Ikea and my husband took 3 hours to build it when it says you can build in and hour and a half" I have to admit that I did stress a bit easy, especially in the mornings when I was trying to get my son ready and her out of bed for us to go to work and nursery, but a divorce case? Really? I am aware that she doesn't have any other guy in tow just now though so I guess she was just fed up with being with me. Oh there you go Mono, she wants a maidservant. You know like in the old days? "Good morning Mrs. Mono, wake up now, I have pressed your blue jumper and brought you a yummy tray of tea and toast. Your child is fully dressed in a color coordinated outfit and fed and ready for his day. Let me know how else I may serve you" "Oh and I put that IKEA dresser together in 75% of the projected timeframe." I am surprised she didn't tell you it's because you brew coffee badly and put toilet paper on the wrong way.... Are you sure you want her out of the fog? Maybe she should stay there... 1
It-is-what-it-is. Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 Well, that's a little better than what I got. I bought flowers too rarely and didn't clean up enough around the house! The last time that we talked, she repeated that and topped it off with being taken for granted. To be honest I felt relief at the time to know that her demands were crazy under our circumstances (DDS for me and grad psych her) and I couldn't have done anything to try to help her out at all, as she had been checked out of the marriage for a while. I hope she gets out of the "fog" but I assume it won't be until she dates two or three other guys :/ oh well, the comedy continues. Welcome ManGuy, sorry for your pain. Well...you sound like a real prize ....maybe you should wear a brand that warns all future women to steer clear of you since you rarely buy flowers and don't help around the house. I hate to break it to you, but not helping around the house is indicative of serious future faithlessness, gambling and physical abuse. She must have learned that in school. (There is not a good enough emoticon to sow the eye roll I am doing right now) And for goodness sakes, it's not like someone could buy their own flowers, there is a federal mandate (in the US) that requires they ask you at the grocery who those flowers are for and if you say for yourself they are not allowed to sell them to you. (Big eye roll for all women who expect men to know they want this stuff without telling them) Mrs. Man and Mrs. Mono should live together happily ever after, with maid servants. Are YOU sure you want her to come out of the FOG either? You do realize there are normal women out there?
Author Monodare1 Posted August 16, 2013 Author Posted August 16, 2013 If there are normal women out there, point me in their direction and let me at them! I'm accepting of the fact that the relationship is over except for the paperwork aspect. I just want a happy uncomplicated life now for both myself and my son. Then I want a happy and contented relationship with a woman who will accept me as I am and not want me to be some sort of manservant or butler.
It-is-what-it-is. Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 If there are normal women out there, point me in their direction and let me at them! I'm accepting of the fact that the relationship is over except for the paperwork aspect. I just want a happy uncomplicated life now for both myself and my son. Then I want a happy and contented relationship with a woman who will accept me as I am and not want me to be some sort of manservant or butler. I promise...I promise...as soon as you complete the paperwork to finalize your divorce. You will be open to finding normal women. I offer to pre screen them for you... These will be my opening questions. 1. Do you like children? (Yes continue on, no bu bye) 2. Do you like IKEA? If yes, are you able to a. Read the instructions? b. Use the special tools they out in the box? c. Oh hell no, I pay them to put it together d. I judge my mans manliness and marital potential by how well he builds stuff for me. Just sayin 2
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