Yulichka93 Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 I caught my boyfriend lying now for the 3rd time about the stupidest thing, calling me. He usually calls me through out the day, but lately he hasn't. Or he says he'll call me and doesn't. I asked him why he didn't, and he said he did. Since i caught him 2x now lying about it, i told him to send me a screenshot. He did, but it showed that only i called him through out the day. I even found a search result for "how to add a call to the call log for iphones" on his phone. I asked him about it and told him how dumb it was for him to lie to me about something like this. He ignored me and just didn't say anything. Just kept watching tv. I tried to talk to him about it after a couple min of watching tv, telling him that it's hurtful he lies to me at all. & he didn't respond really. So i got my things, my shoes on and left. He didn't try to stop me at all. He has big ego and pride issues. The next day, he called me appologizing and calling me every hour after that telling me he loved me. including texts, snapchats and fb messages. There is a concert going on tonight that i have been looking forward to for a while and he told me he didn't want to go. So today i told him i'm going with my girlfriends and he got very mad. Saying that next time he wants to go out by himself without me for me not to say anything. I told him before that i don't believe that i should go out without him and he shouldn't go out without me. But as he has been treating me like ****, i just kind of don't want to care at the moment. Should i go and enjoy the concert ? if not, what should i do ? i'm trying to teach him a lesson....
eddyctv Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 Why on earth would you NOT go? You were supposed to go with him, he doesnt want to go. You are supposed to stay home because he's being a biatch? Please.
Author Yulichka93 Posted August 15, 2013 Author Posted August 15, 2013 hahaha )) I'm just a VERY loyal girl... i do EVERYTHING and anything for him. Never anything that would upset him. His sister told me last night that i need to teach him a lesson and that he loves strong women... But his reaction made me upset, he made me feel guilty.. Telling me that he will go out without me next time .. but the thing is i told him, i INVITED you to go with me and you said no. It's not like i went without saying anything to you. He just seems like the type of person to "get back at me" and go out without me... which i'm afraid will destroy our relationship and hurt me lol
SantistaUSA Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 Do you require your bf to call you throughout the day? It seems to me that he feels that he has to call you because you are demanding it. Don't force him to call you, let him do it when he wants to, it will be more special. About you going out to the concert, I don't see a problem about you going with your gfs BUT if he would ask you to go out to one and you just don't want to go would you be ok with him going with his buddies? 1
New User Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 I caught my boyfriend lying now for the 3rd time about the stupidest thing, calling me. He usually calls me through out the day, but lately he hasn't. Or he says he'll call me and doesn't. I asked him why he didn't, and he said he did. Since i caught him 2x now lying about it, i told him to send me a screenshot. He did, but it showed that only i called him through out the day. I even found a search result for "how to add a call to the call log for iphones" on his phone. I asked him about it and told him how dumb it was for him to lie to me about something like this. He ignored me and just didn't say anything. Just kept watching tv. I tried to talk to him about it after a couple min of watching tv, telling him that it's hurtful he lies to me at all. & he didn't respond really. So i got my things, my shoes on and left. He didn't try to stop me at all. He has big ego and pride issues. The next day, he called me appologizing and calling me every hour after that telling me he loved me. including texts, snapchats and fb messages. There is a concert going on tonight that i have been looking forward to for a while and he told me he didn't want to go. So today i told him i'm going with my girlfriends and he got very mad. Saying that next time he wants to go out by himself without me for me not to say anything. I told him before that i don't believe that i should go out without him and he shouldn't go out without me. But as he has been treating me like ****, i just kind of don't want to care at the moment. Should i go and enjoy the concert ? if not, what should i do ? i'm trying to teach him a lesson.... This sounds like a very healthy approach to building a solid relationship. I'd recommend rubbing his face in the concert tickets and smacking him on the nose with a rolled up newspaper while loudly and firmly saying NO! 4
Author Yulichka93 Posted August 15, 2013 Author Posted August 15, 2013 No. you're not getting it. I require a lot of attention.. lol he knows this. Instead of telling me the TRUTH he lied. He knew i wanted to go to the concert a while back, he said he was going with me. & now he doesn't want to go for whatever reason. I don't want him going out without me, just because thats not the kind of relationship i want. But at the same time i don't feel like im being hypocritical because i INVITED him to go, we were supposed to go together. I'ts not like i'm just going out without inviting him.
SantistaUSA Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 No. you're not getting it. I require a lot of attention.. lol he knows this. Instead of telling me the TRUTH he lied. That's just not healthy, requiring lots of attention after grows old on the SO, it shouldn't feel like an obligation to him. He lied because he doesn't want to explain why he doesn't feel like he has to call you all the time. Going out to have fun without your SO feels weird to me, but you invited him and his cancelling in the last min then you should go, it would upset me if my SO is making plans to go have fun without wanting me to go with them. Once in a while girls or guys night out is not that big of a deal tho. 2
soccerrprp Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 Do you require your bf to call you throughout the day? It seems to me that he feels that he has to call you because you are demanding it. Don't force him to call you, let him do it when he wants to, it will be more special. Completely NOT the point of the post. HE LIED....AGAIN. Didn't deny that he lied and ignored her. 1
soccerrprp Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 That's just not healthy, requiring lots of attention after grows old on the SO, it shouldn't feel like an obligation to him. He lied because he doesn't want to explain why he doesn't feel like he has to call you all the time. Whoa, what?! I'm sorry which part is UNHEALTHY? The fact that she needs more attention than, perhaps, another woman, which in itself is relative. And he is aware of the amount of attention that is required...or.... HE LIED. AGAIN. IGNORED HER AND DIDN'T DENY IT. <<<This is a red flag! No respect or consideration for her needs. No excuse or need to have lied. It sounds like the OP would have forgiven.... 1
SantistaUSA Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 Completely NOT the point of the post. HE LIED....AGAIN. Didn't deny that he lied and ignored her. Very true, but she's pushing him away by demanding him to call all the time, that is not an excuse for him to lie about it, but if she's annoying about the issue he probably just didn't want to deal with it. Those things should not be forced, if he disappears for hours and whatnot then let him no that it bothers you. Also if he lies about calling again she should just move on.
SantistaUSA Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 Whoa, what?! I'm sorry which part is UNHEALTHY? The fact that she needs more attention than, perhaps, another woman, which in itself is relative. And he is aware of the amount of attention that is required...or.... HE LIED. AGAIN. IGNORED HER AND DIDN'T DENY IT. <<<This is a red flag! No respect or consideration for her needs. No excuse or need to have lied. It sounds like the OP would have forgiven.... You may be in an abusive or unhealthy relationship, if your partner: 1. Is jealous or possessive of you – this can look like too many texts or phone calls asking where you are and who you’re with Dating and Domestic Abuse | Free Dating and Domestic Violence Help from The Beehive This is what I'm referring to, I get the idea that she wants him to be in contact her a lot, I mean we do not know the whole story, but proper communication and balance is key for a healthy relationship. 1
soccerrprp Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 I would be worried about the fact that he FEELS it necessary to lie and do so w/o regard to the consequences it seems. He's lying and seems not to be phased by it. Indifferent. If he is frustrated, he isn't communicating it in a healthy manner....quite the opposite. 1
New User Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 No. you're not getting it. I require a lot of attention.. lol he knows this. Instead of telling me the TRUTH he lied. He knew i wanted to go to the concert a while back, he said he was going with me. & now he doesn't want to go for whatever reason. I don't want him going out without me, just because thats not the kind of relationship i want. But at the same time i don't feel like im being hypocritical because i INVITED him to go, we were supposed to go together. I'ts not like i'm just going out without inviting him. The underlying vibe I'm getting from all your posts is that this is an extremely toxic relationship. I suspect on both sides. For the record- I have never dated a woman who openly stated that she needed a lot of attention that was worth the effort. Particularly not if this was followed by "because I am worth it." This is a giant red flag concerning how you view relationships. In every case I have heard some variation on this theme it has translated into the female's belief that her affections were something that the man had to work hard to win coupled with a belief that the mere virtue of her being female was enough of an effort for her to put in. Back to the first point though- this doesn't sound at all like a healthy relationship. I'd recommend ending it for both of your sakes. Who's right or wrong isn't really important, but I would suggest you take a long look at how you view relationships. Your talk of teaching him a lesson and needing lots of attention set off very loud alarm klaxons.
Fondue Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 Being completely non-judgmental here, but here it goes anyway: Did you consider he is lying to you about calling you because you DO in fact demand a lot of attention? In all honesty, do you feel he would need to lie to about calling you if you do not set high standards/expectations in communication? If he wasn't forced to keep contacting you however many times a day, he would less likely to lie to you about it. Maybe he needs a minute to breath, and thought the best way to do it AND keep you satisfied is possibly telling a lie, hoping you'd believe it, and keep that moment to himself. Does that make sense? 1
soccerrprp Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 Yulichka93, I will admit, it does sound like you demand too much, but again, I have not been able to observe just how much that is. But, his lying....well, no matter what the excuse, he now seems to feel that it works for him. He is not bothered by doing it based on what you have shared. I would certainly be concerned about that. I also find it interesting that your bf's sister says that he likes strong women, but then is passive-aggressive about his own concerns and expectations. He wants a strong woman, but is willing to lie and w/o denial, then ignore you? I am shaking my head about this.... You two must be a pair....
Carenth Posted August 16, 2013 Posted August 16, 2013 Sounds like an unhealthy relationship all around. Lying is never ok, smothering your partner demanding x amount of calls a day isn't great either. 2
Author Yulichka93 Posted August 16, 2013 Author Posted August 16, 2013 I don't require him to talk to me ALL the time. But in the span of the whole day, i'm saying i would like to hear from him ...which i usually would. Going 9 hours without talking to me is kind of upsetting. When i say that i need a lot of attention i mean with my feelings. Since it is not the first time i caught him in a lie, everytime he does this now makes it worse for me. Him not caring that i got up and left really upset me too. The next day calling me and appologizing is "nice" but not enough. He should have done it that first night when he had the chance.. in my opinion. I give him his space, PLENTTYYY of it. & i feel as though i do more for him than he does for me. I clean his house, cook for him, baby him, do EVERYTHING and nothing to upset him.... and for once in my life i want him to return the favor. Thats why i walked out and didn't come back, because (not to sound cocky) but i'm a pretty attractive girl & on top of that i know i'm a good woman. Wanting a little more attention from my man should not be a "big deal".
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