happyandsad Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 Hello everyone. This is my first post in the forum and I just joined couple of minutes ago. I just wanted to get your advices about "my issue" that bothers me. Let me give some info. My husband and I are married now for more than 2 years, we planned to have a baby after a year and luckily we got pregnant after few months of trying. But unfortunately, we lost the baby at 7 to 8 weeks. It was very traumatic and painful to me but we tried to move forward with hope that we will have another one soon. No one in the family, i believe, understands how painful it is for me and how much I blamed my self for the loss. Despite the fact that most of the people says that it wasn't my fault, I still thought I didn't took care of myself. I was working that time and it was stressful. I can't eat well while I'm working that there are even days I just forgot when is the time to eat. Stress causes me to lose my appetite. After this story, my husband and I talked about trying again. But there are days that I'd just broke down and remember the loss and blame myself again. I know it's just my issue, I told him that when I get pregnant I won't work and make sure I'll take care of myself this time. And he agreed. We tried for another 7 months to get pregnant and this time, after almost a year...I am pregnant. I am on my 5th week. I am working as a little manager at the front of a retail store at a home improvement store. My job requires bending, lifting heavy (talk about lumber, gas tank, and others), and so I get so tired easily at my first 2hrs and my lower back hurts and sometimes my legs were shaking for standing for almost 8hrs. My point is, my husband mentioned to me to step down, to work only in the register when I talk about how tired I was at the end of the day. Then he mentioned again about there are millions of women working until their almost due. I fought with him about this because I was ready to resign and asked him what does he mean by that and he just said he's just making conversation and if I wanted to resign he support me. This is going to be our first baby considering he's in his late 40's and HE WAS VERY EXCITED ABOUT THIS pregnancy too. He makes 5 times bigger than a regular manager earn and it's only the 2 of us so I thought everything was ok. Now I am having second thought of resigning from my job because I'm afraid when he see me sitting in the couch, I might hear words that I never liked to. I told him if he'd want me to work while I'm pregnant, I'd rather go home to my family because I know they will never let me work knowing that i already have history of miscarriage and we really want the baby. And he think it's silly. I might just becoming a "baby" in this matter but I am confused as to what he's now thinking and I can't get over it. It's been a week and I'm really thinking of moving out of the house. I already talked to him about how it hurts to find out that we have different priority. Thank you for reading.
TigerCub Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 Omg! You are completely giving him s**t for nothing! He said more than once that he will be supportive if you leave this job to concentrate on being pregnant and not exert yourself or risk another miscarriage and then you go on and blow up on remark way out of proportion to the point that now you want to leave? I just feel for the guy because it sounds like he was trying to be a good husband and accommodate you - yet you're making him the bad guy. You say that you are afraid that when he sees you on the couch all day he'll make comments - why would you be on the couch all day? Do you not plan to cook and keep the house tidy ( at least in the beginning of your pregnancy) I really think you're over thinking this and not being appreciative of his support. What more did you want or expect from him? Sorry about you miscarriage. I hope this pregnancy is healthy and goes smoothly 1
Mr. Lucky Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 I might just becoming a "baby" in this matter but I am confused as to what he's now thinking and I can't get over it. It's been a week and I'm really thinking of moving out of the house. You're really thinking of separating from your husband over this ??? Perhaps you should get some latitude since you're hormonal. The birth of your child will help you put little problems like this in perspective. Or you'll be too tired to worry about them ... Mr. Lucky
serial muse Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 I fought with him about this because I was ready to resign and asked him what does he mean by that and he just said he's just making conversation and if I wanted to resign he support me. He said this. Why don't you believe him? You'd really rather leave him?
Author happyandsad Posted August 15, 2013 Author Posted August 15, 2013 ouch! You just hit me in my head. Thank you for your response. I'd stop my bu**sh*t now and love my husband dearly. He's wonderful and he NEVER ask anything from me but to be happy. Thank you again.
Author happyandsad Posted August 15, 2013 Author Posted August 15, 2013 Omg! You are completely giving him s**t for nothing! He said more than once that he will be supportive if you leave this job to concentrate on being pregnant and not exert yourself or risk another miscarriage and then you go on and blow up on remark way out of proportion to the point that now you want to leave? I just feel for the guy because it sounds like he was trying to be a good husband and accommodate you - yet you're making him the bad guy. You say that you are afraid that when he sees you on the couch all day he'll make comments - why would you be on the couch all day? Do you not plan to cook and keep the house tidy ( at least in the beginning of your pregnancy) I really think you're over thinking this and not being appreciative of his support. What more did you want or expect from him? Sorry about you miscarriage. I hope this pregnancy is healthy and goes smoothly And oh my God, he said exactly the same! Thank you Sir. 1
TigerCub Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 And oh my God, he said exactly the same! Thank you Sir. I'm a gal and you're very welcome
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