He is pursuing someone he has known for 8 days.

[bumblebeesxx]

So I've been seeing my boyfriend for about 9 months now and we made it official about 3 months ago when we met each others families.

We never argue, never! Since being official especially. He did get cold feet once or twice whilst seeing each other and wouldn't bother with me. He is 28 I am 20. We mutually agree on everything, yes we have similar and different interests blah blah. I supported him through a three month depression phase too.

Anyway things have been brilliant. We moved in together officially about 2 months ago.

Up until the last week or so. He was becoming distant and going out all the time without me. So he came in at 5am Sunday morning after I asked him to join because I'm having family troubles and just wanted some company. He text me saying I think it's best you move home for a while. Then Sunday he said I need space and you need to leave. We didn't argue. It was all calm and I was upset obviously. He said he needs space because I'm always around. He was the one who asked me to live with him, he was the one suggesting I sell my car and we share his. He was suggesting holidays. He said I never needed to contribute to his flat as it is his, he's happy to pay for everything. Although I did pay him and I bought most of the food shopping. Discussing mortgages etc.

So I packed my things up. He asked me to text him later that night. But he asked for space? When we were seeing each other he wouldn't put kisses and end of texts when he was being cold and distant. Also when he broke up with his ex he did it cleanly and promptly. If he doesn't like something he sorts it. However, as I said goodbye i asked What does this mean? He said we will see each other and see what happens I just need some space alone for a bit. Which I respect, I told him that. I said I really like him and care alot for him and I understand. So I left and text him three hours later casually. He hasn't changed Facebook it still says we are in a relationship.

 

Anyway we exchanged one or two texts that night.

 

He then text me good morning the day after and was telling me how he had barely slept and was asking after my family and saying his gramps says hello to me and telling me about his Internet installation.

 

He went quiet then when he was in work. But he never spoke to me after he finished work.

 

He then text me again good morning tuesday morning and was asking about my job search because I was made redundant and he was telling me about work (used to work with him) and his car which had been recalled. He then asked about the tv he found my parents two weeks ago. Then hour later he text me about a bargain satnav he had found in work and asked it I wanted it. So I said I'd come down later if that was okay. He said yeah. He didn't text me back. He's managing a shop so it's busy yeah. I went to get the satnav and he was a bit off with me didn't talk to me much and I asked him to lunch but he said he's too busy today.

 

I caught him taking one of the girls he works with back to his flat this tuesday evening.I knocked the door to get some of my stuff.

He was upfront and said yes there's someone upstairs but nothings happening I promise and hugged me and kissed my nose.

I tried to let him take me up to the flat to get other possessions but he said no stop pushing, He said text me when you get home and we will talk properly tomorrow. He text me a nice goodnight text however.

 

So a rumour started in his work place wednesday about him seeing this girl he works with and that they had slept together. He is a manager she isn't.

He messaged me accusing me of starting it and broke up with me. Which I never, he had gotten into a panic as he is management his job could be on the line.

He backed off a little then and admitted that I'd only ever been nice and been there in his darkest hours etc. he's making excuses now like he's unhappy and he likes his space and we won't work. He keeps saying sorry.

 

I pulled him up on him possibly lying to me about her and he said think what you want.

 

I sent him a open ended text saying You know how I feel about you (cos he does, I love him) and he never responded and its 24 hours on.

 

I want him to miss me, as this is so rushed he has only known her for about 8 days as she was on holiday prior to the 8 days and before that he was on longterm sick (she started during that time) plus I used to work for the company up until a month ago so I know her too, she knows I was with him. What can I do, I think 30 days NC will push him away.

[stillafool]

What you should do is move on and forget this guy. He is obviously a player and has lost interest in you. He knew he wanted to bang the new girl that's why he "needed space". He was just waiting for the right opportunity to break up. You need to let this one go. You are only 20 and there are too many other guys out there to meet and have fun with. Maybe someone closer to your age would be better. This guy will not change. Stop begging him for attention because that will just turn him off more.

[bumblebeesxx]

I've been good and not contacted him for 24 hours. Although I am dying to.

I am struggling badly as at first I entered the relationship with my guard up and took caution. He then showed security and stability and we were beginning a future together.

 

As I used to work in the same place, I've had messages galore off colleagues calling him a pig and her a slag and that he is an idiot. I've also been told she is the shop bike as she has slept with about 6 members of staff.

 

He's been in touch with my brother today though about computers.

[Zahara]

I've been good and not contacted him for 24 hours. Although I am dying to.

I am struggling badly as at first I entered the relationship with my guard up and took caution. He then showed security and stability and we were beginning a future together.

 

As I used to work in the same place, I've had messages galore off colleagues calling him a pig and her a slag and that he is an idiot. I've also been told she is the shop bike as she has slept with about 6 members of staff.

 

He's been in touch with my brother today though about computers.

 

Who cares if he showed you security and stability when you started dating. Pay attention to what he is showing you now. People are on their best behavior at the beginning of a relationship because they want to secure you. He's a douchebag.

 

Pining for attention from a man that treats you like shytt.

[stillafool]

 

As I used to work in the same place, I've had messages galore off colleagues calling him a pig and her a slag and that he is an idiot. I've also been told she is the shop bike as she has slept with about 6 members of staff.

 

 

Your colleagues being against her is just going to make him find her more attractive. Don't gossip with them about her as this will surely turn him off. The fact that she has slept with 6 members of the staff means she has a high sex drive and is more than likely good in bed. She's a skank and he's a pig so let him go.