robthefool Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 I've been going out with my girlfriend for almost 10 months now, she just turned 22 and I am almost 20. We are at the same uni but she is going on a year abroad to France in a month's time. I am staying at uni in the UK for that period before I myself go on a year abroad next year also to France. Right now I am feeling extremely upset, I miss her so so much. She lives a long way away from me so for the last month and a half we have already been pretty long distance, I went on holiday with her last week and saw her for the first time since we got back from uni, last night I flew home while she is still on holiday. I will see her again in about 3 weeks as I am going on holiday near where she lives, so I will get to see her for a bit then as well. After that, it will be about 5-6 weeks before I see her when she will fly over for a week and a half for my birthday during her half term. Although it is only 3 weeks until I see her, I could not help myself crying last night when I got back to my bed, I could not speak when I said goodbye at the airport because I was about to cry and her family was there, I am just so upset because I really do love her so much, and as she is on holiday right now I can only message her a few times a day. I'm trying to stay positive, but I keep thinking back of all the memories we've had this year, living on the same campus and being able to see each other whenever we wanted, and I know that I will never have as good a year as the one that I just had because she won't be there with me. I have a few weeks until I go on holiday and i'm stuck at home bored out of my mind and needing something to pass the time quickly, it already feels like an age away before I see her even though it is only 3 weeks.. Seeing as she will be in the south of France, flights are only about £65 return during term time so I hope to be able to visit her as much as possible, i'm even going to try and cut my spending to a minimum so I can see her at least once a month. The first part between mid September and the 23rd October is going to be so hard though, after from Easter and Christmas and the 4 weeks before I went on holiday with her, I have only ever been away from her for 4 weeks so I will find this very hard, especially as she will be in a new place so far away. I just need some reassurance that everything will be OK, I was starting to be ok during the middle of our last distance apart but as soon as I see her and then come back home I get all emotional again It's got to the point where I even considered changing courses so I won't have to do a year abroad, I could handle one year apart, but 2 just seems like lightyears away until we'll be close again Thank you if you did read this
jphcbpa Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 Is she equally upset and missing you? What can you do to fill this "void"? How can you love on yourself? What are you passionate about? What are your hobbies? If you do not know, then NOW is the time to find out. IMO, your putting too much pressure and energy/focus on this R. Your happiness is not predicated on the outcome of this R. Use this time for you. This is YOUR time. Take care of your needs physically and emotionally by reassuring yourself with self love/self care. She cannot fix you and "make everything okay". That has to come from within.
Author robthefool Posted August 15, 2013 Author Posted August 15, 2013 Is she equally upset and missing you? What can you do to fill this "void"? How can you love on yourself? What are you passionate about? What are your hobbies? If you do not know, then NOW is the time to find out. IMO, your putting too much pressure and energy/focus on this R. Your happiness is not predicated on the outcome of this R. Use this time for you. This is YOUR time. Take care of your needs physically and emotionally by reassuring yourself with self love/self care. She cannot fix you and "make everything okay". That has to come from within. She is, this time she was fine because It will only be a short time before we see each other again. Before that at the start of July she was in tears when we said goodbye, I almost was this time but I think I was thinking more of the year ahead which was making me upset. You're right, I need to find something to fill this, I like sports but I can't really do them until I go back to university in a month, but I am trying to fill my time doing things to put this to the back of my mind
Myab23 Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 It will be ok!! My bf and I did 2 years long distance too while I was in college and if anything it made our times together that much better. If this is the person you are meant to be with it will all work out! Sure you will miss them but you will get through it. But please please understand you are only 20, these are seriously the best years of your life. Im 30 now and think about how amazing those times were BUT I also think about how much I missed out on because I as always obsessing about missing my boyfriend. Please do not do this. Go abroad and enjoy your time. Live your life and have as much fun as you can. Like I said, if this relationship is meant to be you will have many years in your future to spend time together. Do not waste the precious few carefree years you have to discover yourself on worrying about this. To this day I regret not going abroad and not spending as much time with my friends as I could. Eventually these years will pass and you can never get them back. Make the most of them.
Author robthefool Posted August 15, 2013 Author Posted August 15, 2013 It will be ok!! My bf and I did 2 years long distance too while I was in college and if anything it made our times together that much better. If this is the person you are meant to be with it will all work out! Sure you will miss them but you will get through it. But please please understand you are only 20, these are seriously the best years of your life. Im 30 now and think about how amazing those times were BUT I also think about how much I missed out on because I as always obsessing about missing my boyfriend. Please do not do this. Go abroad and enjoy your time. Live your life and have as much fun as you can. Like I said, if this relationship is meant to be you will have many years in your future to spend time together. Do not waste the precious few carefree years you have to discover yourself on worrying about this. To this day I regret not going abroad and not spending as much time with my friends as I could. Eventually these years will pass and you can never get them back. Make the most of them. I agree it will definitely make our times together much better. I'm sure she is the right one for me, I know it is early but we have talked about moving in together in 2 year's time after this all, and she would be 24 then. I won't think that far ahead just yet because that's a long way away, I just want to try and enjoy myself like you say without being constantly depressed, i'm just finding it very hard at the moment but maybe i'll get used to it
jphcbpa Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 She is, this time she was fine because It will only be a short time before we see each other again. Before that at the start of July she was in tears when we said goodbye, I almost was this time but I think I was thinking more of the year ahead which was making me upset. You're right, I need to find something to fill this, I like sports but I can't really do them until I go back to university in a month, but I am trying to fill my time doing things to put this to the back of my mind go for long runs (get your mind and body tired for good sleep), drink lots of water (do not medicate with booze or drugs), read some books to grow your mind, do some service work/volunteer. do, do, do...stop thinking and get into action.
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