kayjay85 Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 Ok so me and my ex broke up seven weeks ago. For the first four weeks it was very emotional we would message back and fourth both cry alot and missed each other and speak on the phone as the break up was a shock to both of us. Then for the next three weeks we would meet up have sex and kiss cuddle and talk. We would both agree it wasnt a good idea but continued to do so. I went away for a break and my ex messaged to say he would pick me up from the airport. I knew where this was going to lead. I messaged my ex back and said no as i still have feelings for him and if he wanted all those things we would have to be in a relationship. Things got a bit nasty between us within minutes as i just wanted him back. He said he wanted no contact because he was sick of all this (me hurting and wanting him back) so i agreed. Today its been the fourth day of no contact and i find out hes just started dating someone.Considering he was so hurt and still cared about me i am so very confused. Its only been seven weeks and i m shocked. He said he wouldnt date anybody for a long time and i hoping this is just a rebound. please if you have any advice or have been in this situation i would love to hear it.
shouldawouldacoulda Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 Hi Kayjay, I'm in a similar situation. My relationship broke up in March this year, after 6 and a half years together. We kept in touch and were still seeing each other, our relationship as whole has been very emotional, and the last 5 months have been like a rollercoaster. It's been around 7 weeks since we last slept together, and I found out last week he was seeing someone else. I'm in the same place as you in that I am very shocked and so hurt. My ex also said he wasn't interested in anyone else. I'm on my 4th day of no contact (not including social network viewing, I know, I shouldn't do it!). I guess I'm just trying to get by 1 day at a time, and the worst thing is feeling like you didn't mean anything. I think it seems to be more of a female thing that the majority of us find it hard to push our ex out of our heads and replace them with someone else so easily? How did you react when you found out? Did you have contact when you found out?
Author kayjay85 Posted August 15, 2013 Author Posted August 15, 2013 I have no contact with him on facebook or twitter either but i poked around on my friends twitter and i seen he and this girl exchanged nice tweets so i kept my eye on her. I looked today and they went for food and bowling yesterday. He has no idea i know. he still has my pics up on facebook and twitter so im confused but im sure they will come down soon. If u look at my other thread i started you will get to know a bit more about me and why i am so sad. I just cannot believe it. He was so upset and convinced he wasnt ready to meet anyone else yet. I know it had to happen sooner or later but just 3 days ago he was asking to see me. I cant help but think did i push him towards her as we had an argument and feel like hes so intent on moving on x There is a bit of relief in reading these forums as i know im not alone i just kept on thinking why me. Everyone keeps saying he musnt have loved yu that much if he can move on so quick. i do believe he did very much love me as i seen how absolutly heartbroken we both were. But looking back even before me he seems to be one of those people who has to be in a relationship. How have you been handling it? i know i will move on ive had relationships before but not this long and commited. we were planning on moving out next year start and a family nad get married. talking on these forums does help x
Author kayjay85 Posted August 15, 2013 Author Posted August 15, 2013 Im so weak!!!! I contacted my ex and said ive had a lot of time to think over the past 4 days. I know its over and im greateful for the time we had together and that ive been thinking about my actions and my future (by the way). I told him i knew he was dating and was happy for him its been a tough 7 weeks and he deserves to be happy and ill move on in my own time. Really i was dying inside. he replied by saying "Thanks and that he was always there for mebut it wasnt a date she had just broken up with her boyfriend and he had known her from before he knew me and it was just food and drink with a friend". im not convinced. So i replied "i know you will always be there for me and i just want everyone to be happy now". he replied "i would love nothing more than for both of us to be happy". I am not going to reply back now i think im through the worst of things and if it happens it happens if it doesnt then Ill eventually meet someone new but only time will tell x But i feel so much better.
Waynester Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 Lovely to hear you feel so much better but.. definitely no more contact! Keep going forward for yourself & you will grow stronger each day. Whether he was telling the truth..or not, its done. For you own well being all your focus should be on yourself! Don't even check social media websites. I know your heart is desperate to see or read something that opens the door back again but please..keep going in the direction you are. You can do this, then you will be happier & more confident than you have ever been. Your heart will then be ready to meet that special man whos love for you will be strong & unconditional.. & will last forever. Keep going !
Author kayjay85 Posted August 15, 2013 Author Posted August 15, 2013 I feel so much better for doing it. I love my ex but i do also want him to be happy as i also want to be happy. I dont believe him, hes probably sparing my feeling but i knew he would have to move on sooner or later. I think its out of my system now. I promise to myself i will keep no contact beacuse it is doing me good. I know im not over it but i am more realistic now and knowing that he doesnt hate me and also wants me to be happy makes me think yes i can get through this because thats all i want and ever wanted just to be happy. 1
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