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Do you love your parents unconditionally?

Silly_Girl

By Silly_Girl
in General Relationship Discussion

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Silly_Girl Established Member

Silly_Girl

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I'm not exactly sure how I feel about my parents, to be honest. I'm still working on it.

 

In the 'Do you love your spouse or kids most?' thread a poster stated that we love our parents unconditionally.

 

Do you?

Els Established Member

Els

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I don't believe in completely unconditional love at all, really. I try to do my best by my parents (love them, treat them well, etc), but if they emotionally abuse me, I will most certainly walk away.

 

Perhaps if I ever have kids, I'd change my mind on the possibility of unconditional love, but currently, I just don't see how it's possible.

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Lani Established Member

Lani

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Unconditional love is a difficult thing for me to comprehend.

Love is a feeling, not something that you can turn off. If my parents were to abuse me I would lose respect and probably contact with them, but would I ever stop loving them? I don't know. I think a part of me always would.

Emilia Established Member

Emilia

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I don't know whether I believe in unconditional love, it's something close to that how I feel towards my sister but not my parents. I'm not even sure I love my mother as such, I accept her but I keep her at an arm's length and I don't miss her.

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Got it Established Member

Got it

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No. I don't believe in unconditional love outside of self love. Unconditional means just that, without conditions and I cannot accept the premise that I will love someone who can transgress however they want against me and I would keep loving them. That is just mind boggling; their must be a tipping point.

 

I love my parents as my parents but the depth of it depends on the quality of the relationship.

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will1988 Established Member

will1988

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I'm going against the grain here... I love my father, and my grandparents unconditionally. My family was / is a huge part of my life. I'd take a bullet for any of them. Even if my grandfather can be a real A hole sometimes, and my father can be too demanding. I still love them no matter what. If it came down to chosing one of them or let 1,000 people live (or more)... I'm choosing my family. My mom, however, I love her, but I can't say it is unconditional... since she abandoned me and the rest of the family when we were kids. Over a decade later I'm mending the relationship and have forgiven her... but my love for her is not unconditional. I also love my dog unconditionally since he loves me unconditionally... I make sure he has the happiest life he can possibley have. I love my fiance almost unconditional... the only conditions is she doesn't screw me over some how. lol

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TouchedByViolet Established Member

TouchedByViolet

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No. In general, I care about my dad and am indifferent toward my mom. They were not great parents and I am generally disappointed in their decisions. I have various feelings about my parents but unconditional love is not one of them.

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King_Crimson Established Member

King_Crimson

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Barring any serious break of trust, yes, I do love my parents unconditionally.

 

Although, they never really gave me a reason not to and are pretty incredible ;).

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carhill Established Member

carhill

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They're gone now but, while alive, though we often disagreed about 'stuff', my parents never gave me reason to doubt their or my love, so it was consistent and all-encompassing, including a number of years of end of life care for my mom, something which cost a lot both emotionally and financially.

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thefooloftheyear Established Member

thefooloftheyear

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Ive never loved anything as much as my daughter...She is everything to me..In fact, even though I eventually would like to find some SO that I truly love, frankly, I dont even care if I never love anyone ever again. She is the best..:love:

 

I had a contentious relationship with my father, but grew to understand his deficiencies later in life..I do miss him now that he is gone. My mother and I butt heads, but id still kill for her...Plus how could you not love an Italian mother that is a great cook!

 

Short answer...Yes, I love them unconditionally.

 

TFY

Divasu Established Member

Divasu

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Unconditionally? Yes...

 

My father and I are very close now, as opposed to growing up, and I would not have been able to do that if I did not love him unconditionally and forgave him for past grievances.

 

My mother, ugh, our relationship is a challenge on a daily basis since I pretty much support her financially, physically and emotionally and she drives me up a wall. I love her unconditionally no matter what, she gave birth to me for pete's sake. :laugh:

serial muse Established Member

serial muse

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I'm extremely close to my mother and would do just about anything for her; she gave us unconditional love as kids and was a great mom in so many ways. Just a really loving, kind person. Yes, I'd say I love her unconditionally.

 

My dad I barely know (left when we were babies) and what little I do know of him isn't appealing. My mom never spoke badly of him, but I learned things over time that make me glad he's not really a part of my life. So him, I do not love. He's basically a stranger.

ThaWholigan Established Member

ThaWholigan

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I would say that I do love my parents unconditionally. I've always been close to my mother and I have grown much closer to my father over the years. I doubt this will change for me any time soon. I also have a similar relationship with my siblings.

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Quiet Storm Established Member

Quiet Storm

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I love my parents unconditionally.

 

They have issues. My mom is codependent. My dad is a recovering addict. The first 15 years of my life they raised me in poverty.

 

There have been times when I had to distance myself from them to stay emotionally healthy.

 

But I never stopped loving them.

ltjg45 Established Member

ltjg45

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No, I don't.

 

I hated my father. Literally. I had hatred in my heart for his existence. When he died, my mother basically forced me to go to his funeral even when I didn't want to. I went anyway and didn't share a tear there.

 

I made myself forget about him. The only thing he did that I have any form of appreciation for was his fat, juicy breakfast sandwiches. I'm willing to give him a lot of credit though for being a good chef.

 

My mother, I had no issues at first but now that novelty is wearing off and fast. She constantly finds ways to keep me stranded at her home just so she has a willing servant to bring her fast food. With my new job, I already made a statement that any fast food that comes to her won't be off of my money. She's fat, has no desire to change that, plays computer and Facebook games all day, and whines about anything that involves even the smallest of effort from her.

 

Frankly, I'm building a hatred for her and, at this point, I can't wait to move out, get my own place, and move on with my life. I already lost the first 9 years of adulthood doing this very crap. No more.

 

I have lost all patience for laziness and stupidity.

iris219 Established Member

iris219

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I would say yes, I love my mother unconditionally.

 

However, I don't always like or respect her. If I didn't love her, I would have cut her out of my life years ago because of some issues we've had.

HokeyReligions Established Member

HokeyReligions

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Yes. I loved my parents. Never really knew my dad. He was in the hospital more than he was home. He was a quadriplegic and had been since I was a baby. I never saw him standing up. As much as mom and I butted heads I came to realize that also was a measure, of sorts, of love. I loved her unconditionally. I cared for her in my home the last 8 years of her life. Along with my disabled husband and between 5-7 rescued dogs. This was during the time my kids passed too. That also was unconditional.

 

Yes I've known unconditional love. I love my husband unconditionally. I trust him completely but even if he managed to destroy my trust and hurt me that wouldn't end the love.

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tbf Established Member

tbf

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I love my parents like nothing else. They're awesome! :love:

 

But if they were to suddenly become emotionally abusive for an extended length of time, I'd probably stop loving them. And if they were to suddenly become physically violent, I can see myself stop loving them in a hurry.

 

So no, I don't love them unconditionally and don't believe in unconditional love.

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Eternal Sunshine Established Member

Eternal Sunshine

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I do love my parents unconditionally. Even if they suddenly became abusive (which I can never, ever see them doing) I would be sad but still love them. They are the only people who have been there for me during my darkest times and are always there for me to help in any way possible.

 

They have my 100% loyalty and love forever. No matter what they do from now on. I do believe that they love me unconditionally too.

 

While I am not super close to my brother, I believe I love him unconditionally too. I would give my life for him without a second thought (as I would for my parents).

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amaysngrace Established Member

amaysngrace

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Love is a choice.

 

Yes I love my parents unconditionally and yes I am completely in love with my children. I could not see my parents ever not loving me so them becoming horrible people is just not a reality.

 

They are the ones who taught me how to love in the first place.

 

XO

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MrRightNow Established Member

MrRightNow

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Despite everything, yes I do. My mother chose my abusive stepfather over me. My father was an alcoholic who used to beat the ***** out of me. I had a grudge against both of them when I was a kid. But now as an adult, I understand that life is hard and people make mistakes. Both of my parents have supported me through some really tough times as an adult. I can't say the same for any women I've dated. Family is everything.

Got it Established Member

Got it

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Yes. I loved my parents. Never really knew my dad. He was in the hospital more than he was home. He was a quadriplegic and had been since I was a baby. I never saw him standing up. As much as mom and I butted heads I came to realize that also was a measure, of sorts, of love. I loved her unconditionally. I cared for her in my home the last 8 years of her life. Along with my disabled husband and between 5-7 rescued dogs. This was during the time my kids passed too. That also was unconditional.

 

Yes I've known unconditional love. I love my husband unconditionally. I trust him completely but even if he managed to destroy my trust and hurt me that wouldn't end the love.

 

So if you husband started abusing you, raping you, etc. you would still love him? If it is unconditional that would say that you would. And I don't see how one could if they actually loved themselves. How do you love the abuser?

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dichotomy Established Member

dichotomy

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Unconditionally - is a very high bar. I think some put limits on this because they can not imagine the worst ever being done by that person.

 

I can say I love my kids unconditionally - and I mean unconditionally.

 

Everyone else falls in to a increasing level of conditions, but parents would be up there with only a few conditions.

Edited by dichotomy
tbf Established Member

tbf

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I could not see my parents ever not loving me so them becoming horrible people is just not a reality.
That's what unconditional means, regardless of abusive actions you'd still love them.

 

So if they were abusive to you in the future, would you still love them? What if they were abusive to your children? If in these situations you would stop loving them, then yours isn't unconditional love.

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amaysngrace Established Member

amaysngrace

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That's what unconditional means, regardless of abusive actions you'd still love them.

 

So if they were abusive to you in the future, would you still love them? What if they were abusive to your children? If in these situations you would stop loving them, then yours isn't unconditional love.

 

I guess if they stopped loving me or my kids then possibly but it's such a hypothetical situation that I can't wrap my head around it.

 

I don't like thinking in abstracts or what could be when I know that it will never happen. If they were to get abusive suddenly then I'd think they were having some pschological problem and no, I wouldn't stop loving them just because they developed an imbalance.

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