miklos Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 Hello, He is 28. I am 21. I met this guy in May. We had sex twice during that week. I then went to study abroad in spain for two months. During those two months, he would text me everyday and once a week we would have skype sessions that would last for hours. He would count the days that I would be back home so he could see me. He at some point mentioned that he does not mention exclusivity first and that he was starting to feel guilty for seeing other people while he was talking to me. I was excited to finally come back home and start to date this guy. He even bought me my flight from LA to SF a month ahead of time so I can go back to college. So i had the flight a week and half ago, i stayed there for three days. I left. I went back to LA. We would text occasionally. Today I texted him. Then he asks me if I am looking for a boyfriend. I said "ideally I am". He said that he is not looking for a boyfriend. The damage was done. I am hurt. I wanted to date him. What happened to the guy who texted me everymorning and texted me every night with a good bye kiss? Where is the guy who skyped me and we would talk for hours? I am so sad that I want to cry. Should I unfriend from facebook? He said he would be ok to hang out with me but he is not currently looking for a boyfriend. Why didnt he tell me this two months ago?
Author miklos Posted August 15, 2013 Author Posted August 15, 2013 Im really hurt and sad... i need more dating experience. I was used
Rikko Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 Hello, He is 28. I am 21. I met this guy in May. We had sex twice during that week. I then went to study abroad in spain for two months. During those two months, he would text me everyday and once a week we would have skype sessions that would last for hours. He would count the days that I would be back home so he could see me. He at some point mentioned that he does not mention exclusivity first and that he was starting to feel guilty for seeing other people while he was talking to me. I was excited to finally come back home and start to date this guy. He even bought me my flight from LA to SF a month ahead of time so I can go back to college. So i had the flight a week and half ago, i stayed there for three days. I left. I went back to LA. We would text occasionally. Today I texted him. Then he asks me if I am looking for a boyfriend. I said "ideally I am". He said that he is not looking for a boyfriend. The damage was done. I am hurt. I wanted to date him. What happened to the guy who texted me everymorning and texted me every night with a good bye kiss? Where is the guy who skyped me and we would talk for hours? I am so sad that I want to cry. Should I unfriend from facebook? He said he would be ok to hang out with me but he is not currently looking for a boyfriend. Why didnt he tell me this two months ago? Look youre looking for a serious relationship and he isnt. If you think things might change and take the plunge. Don't ask why later on if things dont go your own way. There're plenty of guys SINGLE guys out there. and honestly you can share whatever connection that youre looking to establish with plenty of people if only you tried. my advice to you is break things of with him. Hes not worth your time. get rid of everything and yes that includes deleting or unfriending him on fb.
Pookie5 Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 i'm sorry to hear that. I feel like this guy was using you as a rebound or he just didn't think it would get this serious. I think you should just do no contact with this guy and let him know you are not available whenever he needs you. you have feelings too and you deserve respect. do NC and see if he comes back. if he doesn't it just was never meant to be.
Author miklos Posted August 15, 2013 Author Posted August 15, 2013 He just facebooked me telling me that he is going to call me. i should have not replied as fast as i did ugh. if we did get together i would just be mad and this event would still be in my mind during our relationship. It is time to find someone new...
Author miklos Posted August 15, 2013 Author Posted August 15, 2013 he just told me its all in my head, that for him it was just getting to know me and when he knows someones that when he dates someone because he wants something serious for me im 21 talking with someone for two months is getting to know someone, getting morning and night texts is flirting for two months i think hes wrong.
Adele0908 Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 I don't think you were used. He liked you from what I can tell. When he asked you if you were looking for a boyfriend, you should have said, "I don't know, for someone to be my boyfriend he would have to be an amazing man who treats me well and with respect." His boyfriend question and answer is classic. Very typical. Never tell a guy you are looking for a boyfriend. If they ask, use the above script.
clia Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 he just told me its all in my head, that for him it was just getting to know me and when he knows someones that when he dates someone because he wants something serious for me im 21 talking with someone for two months is getting to know someone, getting morning and night texts is flirting for two months i think hes wrong. You can think he's wrong all you want, but he has every right to change his mind about you after getting to know you better. You've only known this guy a few months. Do you have any idea how many relationships end in the 2-3 month period? That's when you are getting to know a person. From what you posted, you knew him in person for a week, then you were long distance for two months, then you came back, for a few days and he has apparently lost interest. This is normal and common. The first few months of a relationship are crucial. Just because he had sex with you (and you had sex with him) and talked to you every day for a couple of months doesn't mean he doesn't have the right to change his mind about you and decide he doesn't want a relationship with you. He absolutely does! And it sounds like he was pretty clear that he was dating others while you were away, so... Don't worry, you'll find someone else!
Author miklos Posted August 20, 2013 Author Posted August 20, 2013 Thanks people!! I did blew it by answering his question so directly. We dont talk anymore. During that night, he knew i was bothered and tried to fix it. At the end, I decided that we should be friends (no sex) we havent spoken in a few days ill find someone else.
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