somewanderersarelost Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 All, I've been doing pretty well since my last post on here months ago. I did end up emailing my ex about three months ago. I wrote him an update to my life, and he wrote back a really nice letter about how he's ready to be friends but he will wait for me to be ready too. It was almost too nice (he wrote, "I miss you immensely") but that's just how he is. It hurt me a lot, and I probably shouldn't have sent the letter in the first place. Anyway, one of my friends went out to see him DJ recently and posted about it on FB. Obviously, this threw me for a big loop, and I've been really sad ever since. I've been wavering about whether I should try to get together with him for dinner or something (I haven't actually seen him since late January). Horrible idea, right? My heart keeps telling me it's a good idea, so I guess I'm just looking for people to yell at me and tell me breaking NC is a bad idea. Because it is, right?
Misfortune Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 All, I've been doing pretty well since my last post on here months ago. I did end up emailing my ex about three months ago. I wrote him an update to my life, and he wrote back a really nice letter about how he's ready to be friends but he will wait for me to be ready too. It was almost too nice (he wrote, "I miss you immensely") but that's just how he is. It hurt me a lot, and I probably shouldn't have sent the letter in the first place. Anyway, one of my friends went out to see him DJ recently and posted about it on FB. Obviously, this threw me for a big loop, and I've been really sad ever since. I've been wavering about whether I should try to get together with him for dinner or something (I haven't actually seen him since late January). Horrible idea, right? My heart keeps telling me it's a good idea, so I guess I'm just looking for people to yell at me and tell me breaking NC is a bad idea. Because it is, right? It is when you know it won't go anywhere and will throw you off emotionally.
iouaname Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 I think that if the idea of seeing him or talking to him is making you anxious, nervous -- or giving you any feeling at all, really -- then you aren't ready yet. If you truly want to be friends with him (and if he is the kind of friend you really want), then I think you need to give yourself some more time.
Knoxpwns Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 All, I've been doing pretty well since my last post on here months ago. I did end up emailing my ex about three months ago. I wrote him an update to my life, and he wrote back a really nice letter about how he's ready to be friends but he will wait for me to be ready too. It was almost too nice (he wrote, "I miss you immensely") but that's just how he is. It hurt me a lot, and I probably shouldn't have sent the letter in the first place. Anyway, one of my friends went out to see him DJ recently and posted about it on FB. Obviously, this threw me for a big loop, and I've been really sad ever since. I've been wavering about whether I should try to get together with him for dinner or something (I haven't actually seen him since late January). Horrible idea, right? My heart keeps telling me it's a good idea, so I guess I'm just looking for people to yell at me and tell me breaking NC is a bad idea. Because it is, right? Bolded parts One of the things I find most interesting about this site is seeing people who do the exact same thing I did. Ask questions when we already knew the answers, but didn't want to face the answer we knew was right. I bolded the parts that stick out to me, and reinforce the fact that, yes, breaking NC is a bad idea when the mere exchange of moderately friendly banter can actually make your emotions swing.
D-Lish Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 Yep, it's a terrible idea to get in touch with him again. It will set you back in a huge way. Right now you have a choice- and you already know what the right option is. Don't choose to facilitate your own setback when you have the option not to! Why would you consciously choose to interfere with your emotional stability and negate your healing progress when you have the choice not to? This information is just a blip- and if you ride it out, you'll right yourself sooner than you think. Just take a deep breath and ride it out.
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