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Dilemma here...

forgetmenot75

By forgetmenot75
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forgetmenot75 Established Member

forgetmenot75

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Hi again,

 

Back on the dating scene, new dilemma :S

 

I've been talking to a guy last couple days. I like him. He told me he would like to meet me, that he has Wednesday evening and Saturday evening free, though not this Wednesday. He wanted to see me on Saturday, I told him OK.

Here's the dilemma: he's been pretty active online, and I'm quite sure he's meeting someone else tonight. He messaged me saying he will be in a meeting this evening and that if he doesn't catch up with me he wishes me a nice evening.

 

I'm a little pissed off right now, because I was starting to forget both the guy from December and the other one from last week.

I haven't replied to his email, I think I'm going to wait until tomorrow. If his date from tonight goes wrong, he'll email me, right?

Or should I just forget about him? Grr, I'm kinda mad right now.

rocksteady85 Member

rocksteady85

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... why should you forget about him? He's single. He's seeing other people. That's not the death wish on dating. You're single too. Why aren't you seeing other people? You've got a date with him Saturday. Relax and stop overthinking this. It's dating. You're not exclusive until you're exclusive, and you haven't even had a single date yet. Take a deep breath, and relax!

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forgetmenot75 Established Member

forgetmenot75

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I know...It's just I feel if he clicks with the girl from tonight, I wont have any chance on Saturday.

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forgetmenot75 Established Member

forgetmenot75

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I'm not seeing other people because I am extremely picky. I receive an average of 40 messages daily (this is true!) and I liked him over the hundreds I had to read lately.

rocksteady85 Member

rocksteady85

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This is why you don't put all your eggs in one basket. Make dates with other guys. Who knows! You might hit it off with them! You might hit it off with him on Saturday.

 

Do NOT let this bother you. Put it out of your mind, out of sight. Always assume interest. When you assume he is interested in you, you are more comfortable, less stressed, smiling, confident, bubbly, etc. All the good things that draw men's attention to you. If you are worried and stressed and trying too hard to make that impression, or completely disappointed and heartbroken when the date starts, you're not going to come off as someone he wants to date.

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Versacehottie Established Member

Versacehottie

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Rocksteady has great advice. In reality, he may have some kind of work or sports activity or god knows what...but it may be unrelated to another date tonight. However, chances are even if it's not tonight, he is dating others at this stage. Just because someone goes out with him first doesn't mean your chances go down. All you need to bring to your first date is your confident attitude and the things that made him interested in you in the first place. Assume he is dating others and then forget about it. It will just make you crazy. And if you havent already responded to him, just reply tomorrow, that way he can assume the same thing about you!;)

bubbaganoosh Established Member

bubbaganoosh

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Your assuming that he's seeing another girl. Maybe it that he is really working. Wait until Saturday and go out with him. For all you know, after your date you'll wish he was with someone else and he's not the guy you think he is. Time will only tell. Good luck.

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forgetmenot75 Established Member

forgetmenot75

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I already replied : "Have a good night, bye!"

I'm talking to other guy who just told me he took his profile down because he wants to focus on me. See the difference?

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forgetmenot75 Established Member

forgetmenot75

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Your assuming that he's seeing another girl. Maybe it that he is really working. Wait until Saturday and go out with him. For all you know, after your date you'll wish he was with someone else and he's not the guy you think he is. Time will only tell. Good luck.

 

There's nothing concrete about Saturday yet, because I told him OK, but I'll confirm you later whether I can go out or not.

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forgetmenot75 Established Member

forgetmenot75

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Your assuming that he's seeing another girl. Maybe it that he is really working. Wait until Saturday and go out with him. For all you know, after your date you'll wish he was with someone else and he's not the guy you think he is. Time will only tell. Good luck.

 

And yes, I'm assuming because he's online all day and he only writes me late at night, not during the day even though he's online.

sdraw108 Established Member

sdraw108

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I already replied : "Have a good night, bye!"

I'm talking to other guy who just told me he took his profile down because he wants to focus on me. See the difference?

 

It is completely unreasonable of you to expect a guy to exclusively focus on you when you haven't even met yet. What possible reason would he have to do that? I really don't understand where you're coming from.

 

Just meet the guy on Saturday and THEN start thinking about these things. If he clicks with some other girl first, well that's life - you haven't met him, so you haven't lost anything (other than a small amount of your time spent messaging him). I went on a date a while back with a girl and I heard through friends afterwards that she liked me. I kind of liked her too - not head over heels, but enough to feel a little disappointed when she went on a date shortly after mine and liked him even more and ended up seeing him. Well, fast forward a few months and I met a girl that I really like and I'm so glad nothing happened with the previous one now!

ExpatInItaly Established Member

ExpatInItaly

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Hi again,

 

Back on the dating scene, new dilemma :S

 

I've been talking to a guy last couple days. I like him. He told me he would like to meet me, that he has Wednesday evening and Saturday evening free, though not this Wednesday. He wanted to see me on Saturday, I told him OK.

Here's the dilemma: he's been pretty active online, and I'm quite sure he's meeting someone else tonight. He messaged me saying he will be in a meeting this evening and that if he doesn't catch up with me he wishes me a nice evening.

 

I'm a little pissed off right now, because I was starting to forget both the guy from December and the other one from last week.

I haven't replied to his email, I think I'm going to wait until tomorrow. If his date from tonight goes wrong, he'll email me, right?

Or should I just forget about him? Grr, I'm kinda mad right now.

 

You've only been in contact a couple DAYS? Girlfriend, slow down! You're getting worked up over a guy you haven't even met. You can't possibly expect him to ignore every other girl for you, someone he hasn't met in person yet. He's allowed to be dating other people, and so are you. Don't get possessive so quickly; it will turn him right off.

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Ninjainpajamas Established Member

Ninjainpajamas

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Most guys don't become exclusive that fast unless they're desperate...If he meets a girl tomorrow he'll be exclusive like three weeks from now...which means you're perfectly in the clear for Saturday.

Zahara Established Member

Zahara

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I'm a little pissed off right now, because I was starting to forget both the guy from December and the other one from last week. .

 

There's your problem. You're on a desperate hunt for the next guy to come save you from the past two idiots. Rushing to latch onto the next.

 

You have to slow down. Dating shouldn't be causing you this much discomfort, especially when you've only talked to a guy for a couple of days.

 

Guys will be talking to other girls even after you've been out with them on dates. It's going to take more than just a few dates or a couple of phone calls to be exclusive. Be prepared for that and if you can't handle it, maybe you should not be dating.

 

Chill and enjoy the experience.

Mr.Mango Established Member

Mr.Mango

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I know...It's just I feel if he clicks with the girl from tonight, I wont have any chance on Saturday.

 

Oh man...and you don't think this is a constant thing when dating? As a guy I feel I need to assume girls will always be scoping things out and clicking with people. So why shouldn't it work both ways?

 

If you come out on top, awesome! If not, who cares. Can't stop people from meeting other people (even when exclusively dating!).

BradJacobs Established Member

BradJacobs

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I already replied : "Have a good night, bye!"

I'm talking to other guy who just told me he took his profile down because he wants to focus on me. See the difference?

You can't be serious can you?

 

Guy you're talking to "takes down his profile" because he wants to focus on you.

It doesn't work out.

His profile goes right back up.

 

Other guy you're mad at is talking to others and not solely paying attention to you.

If you meet and it doesn't work out then guess what?

His profile still remains up.

 

There's no difference between the two at all.

 

None.

 

Besides what makes you think this other guy doesn't have profiles on other dating sites?

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forgetmenot75 Established Member

forgetmenot75

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I honestly hate if someone don't choose me as their first option, but this is something I'll have to deal with.

 

He wrote me this morning, and the message seem as engaging as the previous ones. He still wants to know me more.

I probably have more time to impress him until he makes a decision, ugh.

 

I've been talking with another guy last night, for about 2 hours, but it's clear that I feel more attracted to this one.

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forgetmenot75 Established Member

forgetmenot75

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You can't be serious can you?

 

Guy you're talking to "takes down his profile" because he wants to focus on you.

It doesn't work out.

His profile goes right back up.

 

Other guy you're mad at is talking to others and not solely paying attention to you.

If you meet and it doesn't work out then guess what?

His profile still remains up.

 

There's no difference between the two at all.

 

None.

 

Besides what makes you think this other guy doesn't have profiles on other dating sites?

 

He is not in other dating sites. He's been clear from the beginning he wants something serious, and he's not a player. After some experience (painful, still recovering from that) I can differentiate between a player and a gentleman. Crazy how experiences that are painful can make us grow, no?

Zahara Established Member

Zahara

Posted
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He is not in other dating sites. He's been clear from the beginning he wants something serious, and he's not a player. After some experience (painful, still recovering from that) I can differentiate between a player and a gentleman. Crazy how experiences that are painful can make us grow, no?

 

First rule, don't believe everything everyone tells you. Do you know how many OLD profiles I've read/met blabbering about how they're looking for a relationship only for them to be playing the field and having profiles on other sites? You have to have a lot of patience, thick skin and emotional smarts to OLD.

 

You may be able to differentiate from a player and a gentleman, but judging from your posts, the difficulty of staying away from the players, as in the case of the last guy, whom you were having such a hard time letting go of is another story.

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clia Established Member

clia

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He is not in other dating sites. He's been clear from the beginning he wants something serious, and he's not a player. After some experience (painful, still recovering from that) I can differentiate between a player and a gentleman. Crazy how experiences that are painful can make us grow, no?

 

I think you need to consider why you get so attached to these men so quickly. (I think I recall another thread from you in a similar vein over the past couple of months, but I could be wrong.) You've been talking to this guy for only two days and haven't even met him yet, and are already upset with him? He's a complete stranger! Frankly, what he does tonight or tomorrow night are none of your beeswax. He's either going to like you or he isn't, but he can't possibly know that until he actually meets you. Your expectations about his conduct are way out of line with where you are in the relationship.

 

Personally, I always found it to be a glaring red flag if a guy removed his profile before he even met me in person. Even around here those types of guys rarely end up being somewhat normal. It's way too soon. A guy who does that is not necessarily a gentleman. He could be a gigantic blowtorcher who is just telling you what you want to hear so he can get you into bed and then dump you.

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BradJacobs Established Member

BradJacobs

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Crazy how experiences that are painful can make us grow, no?

Or it makes you want to believe something so bad that you begin to become delusional.

sdraw108 Established Member

sdraw108

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I honestly hate if someone don't choose me as their first option

 

I've been talking with another guy last night, for about 2 hours

 

Double standards, much? It's ok for you to be talking to two guys online, but if one guy won't be exclusive to you before he's even met you, he's done something wrong?

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