californiagirlxo Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 I am going to be a junior in college and I really want this semester to be a good one where I finally meet a guy who respects and appreciates me. I have only had 1 boyfriend in high school, but other than that have only had casual sexual relationships which ended badly due to absolutely no respect/ 2 one night stands. Hooking up is very popular with my friends and I but after consistently being hurt, I am done with casual flings. I am outgoing and go out a lot at school, but I want to avoid having a one night stand. After I hook up with someone at school, I never heard from them again and I really really don't want that. I've learned from my mistakes. If I meet a guy and we kick it off and he invites me back to his place/really flirty...how do I still keep him interested in me if I do not get physical? Can I kiss and flirt and say "I'm not into one night stands, I like to get to know people before I get really intimate." This is all so new to me since I'm used to just jumping into bed with men, but I really really want a change. I've had an epiphany.
Philosoraptor Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 If you want to be patient with things than you will need to set and stick to your boundaries. If someone doesn't respect your boundaries or is scared off by them you'll quickly see that they aren't the type of person you wanted to be with anyways.
BluEyeL Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 If you want to make this change you should never go to a boy's place until you are in an exclusive relationship. Talk to boys, make friends, wait for them to ask you out only to public places, refuse to "hang out" one on one in a room. If they leave, that's absolutely OK because, as you experience taught you, the would have left anyway. So go out on legitimate, public dates and only after a while, and after you make sure there is a connection between you that goes beyond just a hook up and there is some emotional bond and some investment, you finally get physical with them. 1
BluEyeL Posted August 15, 2013 Posted August 15, 2013 Despite the hook up culture, she will definitely be succesful if she has the strength of character and the confidence to wait/not give up until she finds someone who likes her for her, not just for a one time. Can take one month or two years.
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