Knitted Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 (edited) It's been 1-2 months since my ex broke up with me. I've proceeded with NC since then. The reason things ended was because he didn't have any time spend together after he moved to another country to work. He loved me greatly, and I truly believe this, but he wasn't content with only giving me such limited time a week to be with eachother. He said "I can't continue feeling guilty every time we speak because of the lack of time I give you. It's such a change from what we used to have" He made a mistake of signing a 1-year contract without considering the time limit, thus killing the remaining time me and him had left. This was a huge mistake on his part, and left him feeling proper ****ty! The long distance between us wasn't however a problem, that was how we met. But he broke things up, going for the logical reason (went with what his brain said and not his heart) and it was so hard for me to not take this personally. He couldn't juggle both a relationship and his career. So alas, I couldn't say much to this, because admittedly I wasn't satisfied with the lack of time and communication between us, so after a week of crying and pondering, I ended up agreeing to the break up because I couldn't find any other way out. The question is now: Should I wait a year for us or move on? Because I feel like this isn't like any other break up where you can see the faults in the relationship. This is just bad timing, an honest mistake on his part! I still love him greatly, and he told me still does too, and it's gonna be so hard to accept this break up when I KNOW both of us still feel for eachother. He really wanted us to maintain contact, but I couldn't deal with that emotionally so early after everything, so I backed away and cut the contact. So what should I do now? Do I contact him after 6 months and try and slowly move things forward til he's back on track again? Or should I leave this amazing man and see it as gone forever? Our break up was mutual and very respectful, mature and honest. He apologized, and he actually said that he hoped that one day we could pick things up, but believed that things would probably change between us in the course a year. It's so hard letting this go, purely based on bad timing and lack of time. So guys, what would you guys do? Do you believe he'll still feel love after a year? I'd love to hear your advice, because i'm a lost soul with no idea what to do anymore Edited August 14, 2013 by Knitted
JDPT Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 I'm sorry to say this but he loves his careers more than he loves you. And do you honestly want to hold your breath for one full year? As harsh as this may sound, try to write this one off, this was terrible timing. You will go through the grieving process, it will only get worst before it gets better so be very strong. You will have many ups and downs ahead and all you can do is hang on tight. Focus on all the things you will like to accomplish, in bettering yourself as a person for you and you only. You will come out of this a new and improved you.
Author Knitted Posted August 14, 2013 Author Posted August 14, 2013 JDPT Thank you. I feel like I could take on the harshest words of advice at this point only to get some grip of reality. Giving up on someone you truly care for and love because of such a reason is probably the hardest thing I'll possibly encounter in my life. I'm just gonna have to try my hardest to leave my lingering "What if I later do this?"-thoughts.
JDPT Posted August 14, 2013 Posted August 14, 2013 It's pretty common behavior. You may continue to endlessly question yourself a million questions only to run one full circle and end up in the same place. And that's perfectly fine because you don't need to understand what occurred during or after the relationship. You can't rationalize the irrational. Let go off anger and resentment and learn to forgive. Forgive him for the pain he is causing you and forgive yourself as well. Once you manage to reach this point you will start sorting emotions and making room for personal growth. It's an excruciating process, trust me I know but also know that in time you will gradually start feeling better and as cliché as this may sound, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. Take it a day at a time, don't rush things, pace yourself you are in this for the long run.
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